It (2017) | Imagines + Preferences

E.K|Weak

but i'm weak.

this time,

and what's wrong with that?

eddie kissed me.

boy, oh boy i love it when i fall for that.

this time,

i'm weak.

i liked it.

and what's wrong with that?

this time, when he tugged my shirt off, when he kissed me, he asked. he didn't need to. he knew i would've said yes.

boy, oh boy i love it when i fall for that.

he just did. and i liked it.

i'm weak.

i was in love with eddie kaspbrak.

but i'm weak.

i am in love with eddie kaspbrak.

and what's wrong with that?

i moved. we tried to keep in touch but my mother made me change numbers. i didn't move out until i was 19.

boy, oh boy i love it when i fall for that.

it wasn't until then that i made my way back to derry. mike was there. eddie wasn't. so i stayed with mike.

we fall for that.

we were all nearly 40 when the clown came back.

wake up, we fall again.

i missed them all so much. where was eddie? where was stan?

we fall for that.

eddie arrived. mike told us about stan. i cried. so did eddie.

can't wait to fall again.

eddie got hurt really bad when we were fighting the clown. we took him to the hostpital.

one sip.

they tried to save him.

bad for me.

it didn't work.

one hit.

i was numb. or i tried to be. it hurt. it hurt because i loved him.

bad for me.

so, i borrowed another blunt from richie again. told him i'd be back. going for a walk to clear my mind.

one kiss.

i would not be back.

bad for me.

i wish i didn't love eddie so much. i hate him. i absolutely hate eddie kaspbrak and all these feelings he gave me and i hate that i'd never feel those feelings again.

but i give in so easily.

i gave myself a tour of the town again. i got to beverly's house, where i'd broken a window when we were 10 to get her away from her dad. i got in trouble for that. i do not regret it at all.

and no thank you.

i climbed the stairs, lighting the joint before proceeding to drop the lighter at my feet as i walked.

is how it should've gone.

i hoisted myself to the roof. at this point i'm sure richie knew i wasn't coming back.

i should stay strong.

everyone turned the corner. they were running. i think beverly might've been crying.

but i'm weak.

"thanks for the blunt, rich."

and what's wrong with that?

"y/n eddie wouldn't want you to do this- please! just- just go back down the stairs, ok?" beverly shouted, "please."

boy, oh boy i love it when i fall for that.

"i don't care wgat he wanted! i hate him! i hate eddie kaspbrak and i hate that he'd dead and-" my voice cracked as i fell to my knees, no doubt scraping them in the process but that wouldn't be the worst of my injuries today.

i'm weak.

"go away."

"no, y/n. come down here."

and what's wrong with that?

"alright then."

boy, oh boy i love it when i fall for that.

"you wan't me down there?

i'm weak.

"fine."

but i'm weak.

i stood. looking down, they yelled and yelled and i heard them but i didn't. my thoughts were louder.

and what's wrong with that?

i took a step.

boy, oh boy i love it when i fall for that.

and that day, i did see eddie kaspbrak and stanley uris again. and maybe i might've lied about hating him.