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prompt : castiel has really bad nightmares and dean is there to remind him that he's safe
[disclaimer : mentions of post traumatic stress disorder, death, rape, and abuse [yeah i went fucking hard on this one]]
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the nightmares had started not long after castiel had fallen, dreams being a part of human nature he wasn't surprised to get them, but he didn't expect all his dreams to be nightmares, even though with all he had experienced in his billion years of life, he knew he's bound to get some.

The first one came when he was curled up agaisnt a brick wall in some alleyway, trying to stay as dry as possible from the rain pouring down from the sky as he slept, shivering from the cold and trembling from the nightmare that took over his mind.
-----
metatron brought the angel blade up to his exposed throat, making a slit and taking away his grace, castiel watching in terror as he sealed up the small glass vile, unable to do anything to stop him as he put the vile away.

oh, how badly he wished he had the guts to fucking move and take the vile back, maybe even knock the angel out so that he could make a run for it, but no. he had to be fucking pathetic and watch as his angelic grace was taken away from him, possibly never to be back inside his body ever again.

he cringed at the feeling of metatron's hand touching his throat, even though the touch healed him, it made his skin crawl with disgust.

find a wife? make babies? why would he do that? nobody could want him, he might as well just die now, he was useless to everyone, especially to the people he loved most.

castiel was graceless and useless
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castiel had woken up with a choked gasp, looking up at the sky and now thankful for the rain as the water droplets would hide the stupid tears that were bound to make their way down his scruffy cheeks.

it beginning to get rather hard to breathe as the thought of the blade gliding across his neck kept replaying in his mind, remembering how it felt and how hard it was to breathe.

a phantom pain had begun, it slicing through his throat and causing his lungs to struggle to gather in air, he put his hand to his throat, feeling around it to try and remind himself that there wasn't an injury there anymore.

there wasn't grace in there anymore either, it was just a body. it was his body now, technically, since jimmy had died long ago.

it was his stupid human body, a human body that could barely stay healthy, a human body that can't keep itself clean, a human body that was vulnerable to disease, a human body that could give up on him if he was hurt too badly.

it was a human body......oh, how far he had fallen.

~
after castiel had gone back to the bunker and was allowed to stay there, which he was going to be eternally grateful for, he had hoped (practically prayed) that the nightmares would lessen, maybe even some pleasant dreams would come into play.

sadly, they were just as painful as before, but they began to vary in subject matter, only reminding castiel of his other failures.
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castiel struggled against the strength of the leviathans, but he couldn't hold them back long enough for dean and bobby to even leave the room, becoming a prisoner within his own mind.

"no.....no no no!" he cried, struggling to get back in control as he heard the alpha leviathan taking control of his body and watching as it hurt his family.

"don't fucking touch them! stop it!"

"silly little angel, why would we listen to you?" one of the hundreds of monsters taunted, sending shivers down castiel's spine.