south park : x reader oneshots

Okay, so this takes place in an AU where each person has a timer above their heads that counts down to your death. Also, I wasn't the one who had the idea of a timer, it was Phoenix. She's actually planning on writing a whole story on this eventually as well so make sure you look out for that!

Sorry if people are OOC, but then again no South Park x Reader is ever entirely in character because they're fUCKING NINE/ TEN-YEAR-OLDS WHO SHOULDN'T BE FALLING IN LOVE YET!!

sorry it kinda short

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You guys know the drill.

y/n - Your Name

h/c - Hair Colour

e/c - Eye Colour

s/c - Skin Colour

f/c - Favourite Colour

r/c - Random Colour

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He stood up from his seat, making his way to stand in front of the funeral guests, his hands shaking slightly. His mother had told him that he didn't have to do it, but he had to. He had to do it for her.

The microphone buzzed, and Stan smiled encouragingly at him, giving him a thumbs up, and he tried to smile back.

He took in a deep, shaking breath and cleared his throat. 

"My name is Kyle Broflovski, and yesterday, I lost the love of my life."

My name is y/n l/n, and yesterday, I died. 

It wasn't a glorious death. I'd known right from when I was a child that someday I'd die, from when my parents had explained the death timers to me. I'd imagined something heroic, with glowing lights and a long, triumphant life behind me. But no, it was nothing but a car. 

No one had told as my timer reached its final month, but I had seen it in their eyes. 

I think it was my best friend, Kyle Broflovski, who took it the worst. I'd walked into school that day, and he'd turned to look at me with a huge smile on his face. But then his smile had faded, and he'd dashed towards me, pulling me into his chest and hugging me tightly.

"G-goddammit," he had cursed into my hair. "I- I thought I could handle it..."

"Kyle," I had said softly, "You- you gotta tell me. How- how much time is there left on my timer...?"

He blinked down at me then. "I... Ten. Ten days..." 

-

I suppose that I knew that it was coming weeks before. Slowly, everyone around me had been getting sadder and sadder. Everyone was changing.

Azure, the little girl whom I had repeatedly claimed as my smol child and who the other boys (Craig and Kyle especially) considered to be their little sister, had begun hugging me out of nowhere, giving me little bunches of flowers and bringing in baked goods for me every morning. Riviera, who was normally so shy, reserved and quiet, cried openly and apologised over and over, even hugged me. Cartman, the greedy fatass who always seemed to hate me, offered me his snacks at lunch, insisting that he was full. Butters began to cry hysterically every day after school. Even Craig softened up, allowing me to cuddle his pet guinea pig and letting me wear his hat when I forgot my own.

It was definitely Kyle who changed the most, though. He grew more and more antsy, more and more anxious as my final weeks passed. He had been so affectionate too, been so loving.