Wink, Wink

Several girls around the circle looked at me with wide eyes.

"Wait, you've never kissed a guy?" A girl named Megan asked.

I lower the cup from my lips, having made my unspoken statement to Stella without actually drinking.

"Nope, never," I answered truthfully.

My confirmation of the question seemed to perplexed them further.

"How is that even possible?" A girl to my right, Hannah, asked angling her body to face me.

I shrugged. "Its just never happened."

The girls in the circle started moving closer to me, making the circle smaller and subsequently making me feel claustrophobic.

"What do you mean it's never happened?" Stacy questioned, getting up from her spot on the floor reaching over to refill her cup. "You're eighteen, kissing is like a mandatory thing you have to do before your eighteen."

I shrugged. "guess I missed that prerequisites." I said, lifting my hand to scratch my cheek, something I always did when I was trying to buy myself more time. "It doesn't matter, it's not a big deal." I tried to dismiss.

A couple of the girls looked at each other in confusion.

"Do you want to kiss someone?" Hannah asked me.

I couldn't suppress the small chuckle that left my lips. "Yeah, I do, eventually," I said truthfully. "I don't know if I want to do it anytime soon though. I don't really like people in my personal space."

"What are you waiting for prince charming?" Stella suddenly said in a condescending voice. "Maybe marriage?"

I ignored her and instead said a silent prayer of patience.

"Aren't you curious what it feels like?" Another girl in the circle asked.

I recrossed my legs. "Curiosity killed the cat," I answered cheekily

"Yeah, but satisfaction from an orgasm brought it back," Megan stated matter-of-factly and the girls laughed.

"Harper, how could you let your best friend go this long without such an important passage in a teenagers life?" Someone in the group asked.

Harper snorted beside me. "I don't let her do anything, she makes her own decisions. Plus telling Eleanor to do something, is about as easy as telling they can't eat meat," She said nudging me gently. "it doesn't go over so well."

A ghost of a smile lit my features. Harper wasn't wrong.

"It really not that big of a deal," I attempted to supply as an answer. "I don't think there should be any pressure to have kissed someone by a certain age. I think kissing and being a relationship are pretty serious things that you shouldn't just jump into blindly."

Stella snorted and I tapped my fingers on my leg in an attempt to not chew her head off.

"You have to admit its a little weird though," Hannah responded, "how are you going to know what to do when the moment comes?"

"Guys don't want a girl that Inexperienced," another girl added on my left. "you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince." She leaned forward and placed both her hands on the tops of her knees. "Think about it this way, practice makes perfect, so just because you have a make-out session with a guy doesn't mean that you have to be in a relationship with him."

I bit the inside of my lip in annoyance. There was no use in trying to explain my reasonings to the girls. Most were driven by their hedonistic urges and assumed others were the same.

"experienced or not, no guy will want her," Stella said getting up, and all the girls looked up at her in horror.

"I'm just saying that she has unrealistic standards that no guy will be able to meet." She said shrugging. " I didn't mean because of her looks. I would never." She finished placing a hand over her heart, faking innocence.

A dozen sets of eyes swiveled and faced me. Wanting to see my response. I smiled and shrugged off Stella's comments. Coming off as someone who didn't care if my lack of a love life was being dissected right in front of me. A new topic soon arose and redirected the attention off of me.

I couldn't help but think over some of the girls' words.

Was it so bad to want to wait before I kissed someone?

It wasn't that I was waiting until my wedding day to kiss someone, I just wanted some sort of connection with someone before we got that personal. A connection that wasn't driven by physical attraction or lust.

I was like any other young girl.

I wanted to be kissed. Not just because it felt like the right moment, but because me and whoever I ended up with couldn't go one more second without each other. Like there was no other option but to kiss each other.

I knew this sentiment was not shared by many, and was fueled by my inner hopeless romantic, but was it really that weird to want something special?

Maybe I just needed to ditch the whole notion and concede to what the girls were saying.

Maybe this was what Harper had been talking about.

Maybe I just needed to stop overthinking it and placing high expectations on a measly kiss.

Maybe they were right thought as a glitter of movement caught my eye.

Stella was typing something on her phone, then as if sensing my gaze, looked up and gave me a smirk.

Hey guys!

Updated at a later time today, but at least its up right?

As always, I would love to know what you guys thought of the chapter/how the story is coming along.

In case no one told you recently, you are loved and you're beautiful. It never hurts to be reminded every once in a while.

Anyway, thanks for taking time to read my story! Until tomorrow...

-Xoxo V.