Lams Oneshots^^

A/N: I'm pretty sure I wrote this at like 2am. I don't know who this 2am me is that can actually write, but can I be her all the time please?

Alex's hand reaches out, grasping blades of grass between his fingers. His eyes, vacant and unseeing, face the horizon.

"Describe the sunset, Jackie," He whispers, leaning back into the shoulder that he knows will be there. John's arm wraps around his shoulders, keeping Alex safe, and he leans down to speak into Alex's ear.

"Well, there are streaks of orange mixed with pinks, making everything glow. There's a bit of purple thrown in just for decoration, the sun is nearly gone."

"It sounds lovely," Alex returns wistfully. John rubs his hand up and down Alex's arm, wishing there was something he could do to help. Alex lost his vision only a month ago, and he is still mourning it. Every day is a new obstacle to overcome, another task they discover is challenging without sight. It isn't easy for Alex obviously, but John is having a hard time as well.

He stares at his boyfriend, recalling how he's changed since the accident. He started out shocked, in denial and persistent that he would regain his sight despite the doctor's claims, before finally realizing that would never happen. Things only went downhill from there, and John (as someone who has been there before) is certain that Alex is falling into a depression. Alex, once a brash and outspoken man with an opinion on absolutely everything, is slowly becoming quiet and reserved. Of course, John will love Alex no matter what happens, but it's killing him to see Alex slip into a shell of his former self.

John has an advantage though; his mother's sister had been blind, and John has a pretty good idea of the needs he must attend to. Not only that, but his aunt taught him all of the ways to enjoy life without being able to see, techniques John can now pass on to Alex.

"I can feel your eyes on me, John. What is it?" Alex mumbles. Even his voice is different, quiet and lacking emotional depth.

John sits back, surprised, "Nothing baby, I was just spacing out. What about you? What's on your mind?" Alex reaches a hand up in the general direction of John's face, and John guides it to its destination, holding it against his cheek. Alex's thumb lightly traces John's lips, and John smiles.

"I was just wishing I could see your smile and your eyes." John moves Alex's thumb to outline his smile, and Alex lays his head in the crook of John's shoulder, allowing the movement to happen. "You know something?" Alex mumbles.

"What?" Alex smiles at the slight movement of John's lips against his skin, but the smile slowly dissipates.

"I love you." His voice is very low, almost carried off on the breeze, words to be shared only between the pair.

Alex leans up and softly kisses John's jaw bone, leaving butterflies in John's stomach. "You know something?" John starts, stealing Alex's words, "It doesn't matter if you can't see me, because you can still make me feel like a highschool boy with an impossibly huge crush." At that Alex genuinely laughs, which brings overflowing joy and appreciation to John's heart for the now rare sound. John brushes Alex's messy dark brown tendrils out of his face, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. "I hope I do the same for you."

Alex giggles and closes his eyes, "Oh, you do." John's eyes wander through the trees that form a border around the familiar spot, the field behind their house.

"There's a cardinal flying between the trees right now, can you hear it?" The bird chirps to another that is hidden somewhere in the leaves, and Alex nods slightly. John realizes with a slight panic that he changed the subject; he hadn't meant to, pointing out details that he thinks Alex will like has already become a habit. Alex had seemed to be pushing his blindness away for a moment, and John put it into his mind again. However, the fact that Alex only pushes it away worries John. He hasn't even had a panic attack, and John knows he must be holding all those feelings in. He is determined to pull them out, but how? That is a question John has no idea exactly how to answer.