Crave

Jungkook

I can't stop thinking about my conversation with Jimin. How Tae and Hoseok only want each other...and not me.
     Is that true? Maybe.
     I can tell they have something together but does that mean I'll always be left out?
I have to admit that since I've started spending more time with them that I feel something. They've agreed to be my caregivers what...maybe I want more. Is that wrong? They said many times they aren't really dating. I'm so confused.
"You okay, Kookie?" Tae asks as he finishes starting up the Disney movie I requested.
I nod, sitting back against the headboard. Hoseok left to grab us some snacks.
Tae frowns at me. "You've been really quiet. Are you sure you don't want to talk? Is everything alright with you and Jimin?" He sits beside me and wraps his arm around me shoulders.
He smells really good. So does Hoseok. I avoid eye contact as he tries to decipher my mood. My fingers nervously twisting in the sheets.
Do they...do bad things in this bed? In these sheets? The thought catches me off guard but it's kinda hot. I try not to picture it, though, because if I do then I know I'll add myself in somewhere and that's wrong. They don't want me like that.
"Kookie baby..." He sighs, still not understanding. I shiver at the way he says that. I think back to what Jiminie did with Yoongi and how he admitted it hurt but he still liked it. Maybe I shouldn't want that. I should be smarter than that.
"I'm fine." I mumble, head down. I w-want to know what a kiss feels like. Even if it's stupid, I want to experience what Jimin got to experience. I don't want to feel unwanted and left out.
He tilts my chin up, studying my face. "You aren't fine. You've been acting weird since you came over. Talk to me." He urges but I shake my head and lay down, facing away from him and hugging Hoseok's pillow.
He sighs, getting up and leaving the room. My eyes follow him until he's gone. Biting my lip, I tip toe up and peak out the door into the kitchen.
My heart breaks a little when I see Hoseok pinning Tae to the counter and kissing him. It's not rough or super passionate but more sweet and affectionate. I want that. Why does no one want me?
Sniffling, I grab Hoseok's pillow and leave. They don't even notice as I cross the hall and slam the door to my bedroom. I know I'm supposed to stay with next door because of Jimin getting in trouble but I don't care right now. I need to be alone.
I tug my clothes over my head and collapse onto the bed in only my boxers, cuddling their pillow against my chest.
I want a boyfriend. I want my caregivers, too. Unfortunately I'm not stupid enough to know I can have the both of them. If I find a boyfriend, I'll have to let Tae and Hoseok go. I know that. Also, if I find a boyfriend...he may not like me as a little and won't give me what I need sometimes.
I don't know what to do. What do I want more?

 
Hoseok
  
     I hear the front door click and pull away from Taehyung. He catches his breath while I finish up making our snacks for the night. I'm so happy to spend some good quality time with Jungkook since we've decided to become his caregivers.
     Tae frowns as he grabs the bowls and helps me carry them into the bedroom. I know he's worried about Kookie. Mentioning to me he's been acting a little down for some reason.
     I pause entering the bedroom. It's empty. "Did he go to the bathroom?" I ask.
     He glances around. "Uh, not sure." He places the bowls as drinks down and peaks into the bathroom. Also empty.
     I remember the door opening. "Maybe he forgot something at home?"
     "I hope he's alright. He's been acting so strange." He mumbles as we walk across the hall and knock. It's getting late so we have to be quiet. When we get no answer, I try the door and find it unlocked.
     Making our way through the dark apartment, I see the light on in Kookie's room. Peaking inside, I see him asleep and cuddled up with...is that my pillow?
      "Go back to the room. We'll be there in a second."
      He pouts but obeys, leaving me alone to talk to Jungkook. I close his door and sit on the edge of the bed, shaking his shoulder to wake him. "Kookie? What's wrong? Why did you leave?" I whisper.
     He opens his eyes and looks a little guilty, burying his face in the pillow.
     "Hey, talk to me. You can tell me anything." I reassure.
      Chewing on his bottom lip, his large innocent brown eyes meet mine. "K-Kookie sad."
     "Why is Kookie sad?" I pull him into my lap and rub his back.
     "Kookie left out. Wants lovies, too." He pouts.
      I frown. "What do you mean? What are Lovies?"
      He nods. "K-kissies and cuddles like you and daddy do?"
     I pause. "You want me and Tae to kiss you like we do each other?" Hm.
     He nods, hiding his red face in my neck. "P-please."
     Won't Taehyung just be jumping for joy. Of course I'm conflicted, though. This isn't an easy situation. What little Kookie wants might not be what Jungkook actually wants and needs. We need to talk to him as an adult, too, before anything happens.
     I lift him into my arms and carry him and my pillow back to the our apartment. Tae sitting on the bed looking worried.
     He raises his eyebrows at the sight of us. I place Kookie down on the bed and give Tae a look. He kisses his head before walking with me into the hallway. "What happened? What's wrong?"
     I sigh. "He wants us to kiss and love on him like he sees us do to each other." I explain quietly.
     His eyes widen. "Wh-really?" We both look back at the gorgeous boy waiting for us in bed.
     "Yes. We need to talk to Jungkook, though. We can't just take advantage of him. He may not understand what he's asking for."
     He looks conflicted. "Maybe we can just start off giving him extra attention and love, maybe a few chaste kisses until we talk to him and if he wants it then we can maybe do more?" He suggests.
     "I think that's a good idea. We'll talk to him tomorrow."
     "Sounds good."