hopeless || phan [complete]

pj wasn't going to lie- asking dan for emotional advice was definitely not a sound idea. sure, he was pj's best friend, but pj would be lying if he said he never got irritated with dan's very logical answers to everything. 

and chris was the most emotionally open person pj knew, but that was useless, because... well, because. 

 if pj was being truthful, he felt betrayed. really fucking betrayed, because phil had talked to him over dan's phone the day after the party.

"he should've known better, alcohol or not," phil had told him in a low voice. "i told him that you're straight... i told him, he knew. i didn't even know he liked you."

because pj knew who he was, goddammit, and while purple nails might deter people, he knew who he liked and who he didn't. and he kept remembering chris' lips on his own, demanding and scary and pj wished the alcohol could have kept that veiled, hidden away, safe behind a curtain of black-outs.

he didn't want to talk about it to dan. but he wanted to talk about it, because it didn't feel right and he had just lost a friend.

he decided to talk to phil. 

they decided on sunday, two days after the party. pj was anxious- no more anxious than usual, though, and he took a deep breath and bravely made his way to the library.

the library was clearly unfamiliar to phil, so pj led him around back to the seats he and dan usually occupied, sitting down heavily. propping his chin onto his hand, pj watched phil sit down.

this is who dan decided to date, pj realized suddenly. what's so special about him?

he soon found out. for the next hour, pj talked, and phil listened. he interjected when he thought necessary, offered comforting words when pj buried his face in his arms. and when pj mumbled miserably about how he liked chris as a person, as a friend, but never anything else, phil persuaded him to try talking to chris.

it was dark when they trudged out of the library, both emotionally drained. pj was taking a deep breath when he saw phil smile slightly toward the flowers, waving in the evening breeze.

"what?" pj asked curiously.

"hm?" phil took a second before turning back to pj, a dopey looking smile threatening to take over his face.

"what?" pj prompted.

"i once fell onto those flowers while taking pictures of them because dan was standing behind me."

"...excuse me?"

"look, the flowers over there are smushed," phil pointed, grinning. "i took a picture of dan after that," he added thoughtfully.

"i- what?"

"what? he's pretty!" phil said defensively.

"i'm not denying it, but... that's so disgustingly cute," pj rolled his eyes. phil shoved him lightly, giggling. 

and as they walked home, their laughter very nearly reached the stars.