DAYS I'VE SPENT WITHOUT YOU (Anders Fannemel)

8.

"Home sweet home," Robert says as he opens the door to his house

I look around and it looks the exactly how I remember it. It's been a few months since I woke up, since the break up.

"It's the same," I say surprised and slowly walk towards the living room.

I look around and walk towards the cabinets. I see pictures. Pictures of me.

First one is with me and Robert and then another one from when I graduated from high school. There are so many pictures of me but only one that catches my eye.

I take out of the cabinet and look at it. I remember when Robert took this picture. It's 3 years old, it's from one of the competition, me and Anders looking at each other. You can really see that we love each other.

I feel tears in my eyes but don't let them fall. I put the picture back to the cabinet and leave the room. I go upstairs to my room, someone has changed the sheets. I see my things are still in the room, I open the wardrobe and see that all my clothes are still inside of it. I turn away and look out of the window. It's snowy outside, as usual. But something else catches my eye. A tree, I make a spontaneous decision and put on my coat. I tell Robert that I'll be back soon and put on my boots, I disappear before he can even say something.

I walk towards the bunch of trees but stop in front of the one I'm looking for. I slowly brush the snow away with my hand and look at the words that are cut in the tree. I look at the words and caress them.

"I don't think this is allowed," I said as he started cutting our names in the tree

"Name one thing you did since you came back that was allowed," Anders said and we both laughed

"I thought so," he said and started to write his name under the plus.

I watched him as he cut in the heart around our names. As he said he finished I took the knife into my hands and wrote 'forever' under the heart.

"Perfect," I said as I finished and turned to Anders. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him

"I love you," I whispered and smiled

"I love you more," he whispered and we both laughed

We were avoiding the talk about me going back to England, I was leaving tomorrow and we couldn't avoid talking about it anymore.

"Char, we need to talk about it," he said as we were walking towards his house

"I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to go. Would it be so wrong if I'd stay?" I asked him and he smiled

"No, but we both know that your mother wouldn't approve you staying here. Especially not with me," he said and kissed me on my forehead

"Well, I'm saying this for the first time and probably for the last time but he's right. I definitely wouldn't approve it," I heard mom's voice from behind and turned around

"Mother, what are you doing here?" I asked her and raised my eyebrows as she locked the car

"I came to make sure you'll really leave tomorrow, Charlotte," she said and came closer

That's the last thing I remember from that day. Everything after that is a blur. I remember only parts of it and after that just the whiteness until few months ago.

I slowly go back to the house and see mom's car parked in front of it. I go inside and took off the coat and boots, I go to the living room where my mom is sitting.

"Miss me already, Mother?" I ask her and sit down beside her. She slightly laughs but stays serious

"No, I came back to talk to you about you moving on with your life. Shortly, I came here to talk about you and England," she says and now I slightly laugh.

"Of course you did. And mother? What's your plan? I mean, you probably already called the dean to talk about me and I can start with my classes next week. Am I right?" I ask her and look at her

"Not completely. He wants to talk to you about the accident and everything, he didn't want to discuss it with me but he mentioned some problems which I had no idea about. Like you coming hungover to school. Can you explain to me what's going on? Because I had no idea that my daughter that was 2 years in coma had drinking problems. And I feel like you don't trust me," she tells me and looks at me. I see in her eyes that she is hurt.

"No, I don't trust you. I never did. Because I never had a feeling that you trust me or love me. You never told me that you love me, I heard you tell it to Robert but never to me. All you ever wanted from me was to be perfect. To be a straight A- student, to train dancing, to go to singing lessons, to be skinny. To be perfect, to do everything you never had a chance to do. Because your parents wouldn't let you. And I was stupid enough to listen to you, I believed you. You have no idea how many nights I was wishing that you'd come and say 'goodnight sweetie, I love you'. You never came, I defended you in front of everybody. And what I got for return? Nothing. Now, for once in my life listen to me. I'm going to go there to talk to the dean but I'm out. I don't want to go to Oxford anymore. I'm going to talk to the dean, ask him what he suggests and then I'll make my decision. Without you. Because I don't need you or want you to tell me what to do. I'm done," I say

"I'm sorry. I love you more than anything, Charlotte and I wish I'd tell you this before," she says and I laugh a bit

"Well, you're at least 5 years late," I say and go upstairs to my room

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A/N

Hello,

I would just like to say thank you for reading my story, I love you all so much.

Have a nice day,

A. S. T.