If I only could

Chapter 20

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Danny get home the night after he had fun the whole day with Jackie. Ellaine will stay over with his Mum.

He saw broken glasses on the dining room as he get in, It's so mess up.
He look for Jessie but the nursery room is lock, she might be there. He just let her be and clean the mess.

After cleaning he heard broken glasses again up the stairs. He tried to knock but Jess keep throwing things.

He started to get confuse why she is throwing those bottles. He had no choice once again but to open the door by breaking it.

He saw her wife at the corner keep throwing an empty bottle, she seems drunk and he saw her waist bleeding again. He help her but she refused. She pushed him off. He started to get angry.

"What's wrong with you?! Is this what you want to be?! How could you be a mother to Ellaine if you'll be like this?!" He yelled in front of her. She just look at him with a drunk face and just rolled her eyes.

"I don't know what happened to you. You've changed and became worst!" He continued.

"Why do you want divorce." She asked not looking at him. He look at her, she looks pity. She look at him when he didn't answer. "Why?! You heard me right? Why?!" She asked

"You're drunk, I'll clean your wound, come on!" He said and was about to carry her but she refused.

"I don't want you to touch me! I want you to answer my question!" She said

"You'll be hurt!" He said. She laugh all of a sudden. He got more confuse with that. "What's funny?!" He asked and she didn't stop laughing until her laugh turned into crying.

"Hurt?! I have  been hurt! Words might hurt me but that is nothing to compare the pain I've felt!" She said and he frowned.

"Hurt?! You're hurt?!" He asked and want to laugh but anger overtook him. "In what kind you are hurt? Isn't me the one you hurt? You cheat on me!" He said.

"Yeah! I know. I cheat right??!" She said

"Yes you did!" He said and she nod.

"I did! I did cheat to my husband and my daughter! I deserved all the pain, Right?!!" She said and he ignored her.
"Get away from me! Don't touch me even one hair of mine!" She said and close her eyes with her back on the wall.

"You're bleedi---"

"You don't care! Get out!" She said trying to stay awake.

He didn't move. He just watch her close her eyes again and try to sleep.

He stay there, he wants to clean her wound but she doesn't want him to.

A few moments later he heard her again crying.

She open her eyes and look at him.

"Bring me your lawyer once he's free, and tell your daughter once she grown up, her mum loves her too much, tell her don't be like her mum." She said and close her eyes again. He frowned.

"What are you saying? Do you even hear yourself? You'll just gonna sign the paper for our divorce, you're still a mother of Ellaine." He said and she nod.

"Yep! But your daughter hate me. Just let her know. I will set the both of you free. You both are happy with your girlfriend. You want to be with her for the rest of your life, right? I beg you to take care of Ellaine. Treat her the way you treat her now. Do that for me." She said.

"Why are you saying all of this." He asked and he saw her smile.

"Just wanna set two person I'd love free. You both are free to live on your own. I can see that you both don't want to be with me." She said.

"Me, not Ellaine." He said. She look at him.

"Really? She don't want to look at me as I talk to her, She doesn't want to hug me the moment I gave her a hug  she don't kiss me, unlike to your girlfriend, she does everything to her that she didn't do to me." She said.

"Could you blame her? She was growing with Jackie at our side. You weren't with us the moment we need you, the moment we we're missing you." He said and she nod.

"Go..." She said too tired.

"You need to clean your wound." He said.

"Don't mind it! Just let it bleed until I lost myself." She said

"Jess!" He said.

"Go..!" She said.

"Jessie!"

"Just Go!" She said and lie down on the floor. He was about to carry her but she kick him. He ended up leaving her though he doesn't want to.

This is the first time he saw her like that. No matter how much he wants to feel hurt on what he sees from her face, he can't feel it. He don't feel anything at all everytime he sees her. Maybe he don't really love her at all.

It's all faded!