If I only could

"So what are you planning now?" That's Holly they met at the airport waiting for their flight. Holly Decided to go with her. She knows everything that her best friend trying to get rid of.

"I'm going.. going far away. I just want to go and have some time for myself." She simply respond.

"I know, I know, Jess. but what about Ellaine." Holly asked worriedly.

"I know. Right! I don't want to leave her, I don't want to be far away from her again, but we all know that this is the best and the only option I can do. Maybe they'll think that I am selfish, but they'll know soon too, I will just let them for now whatever they want to think of me. I'm not going to stop their mind." She said and let out a sigh.

"Can you live alone?" She asked still worried for her best friend.

"I'm okay, Hols. I'll be okay. This is the best." She said.

"Did you talk to your family?" She just simply nod. "What did they say?" Holly asked.

"They're sad, Mad.. mix emotions, they keep asking me why did he let me just like that, I defend him. It's not his fault, I said it's mine, I chea--"

"You didn't. we both know, you didn't! Why do you have to say that? You don't have to take all the blame!" Holly said.

"But what can I do? I'm already here , Hols, I'm already here. I couldn't escape at all.. I got stuck in this shit situation." She said and wiped her single tear

"but if you only tell Danny, you wouldn'---"

"Even if I do , He'll never understand. The pain here won't go away." She said pounting directly to the direction where her heart is. "It's okay. we're done, We're on the process to finally ... finally, he'll get what he's been waiting for." She said .

"I know. I wish you could be okay, I'm just worried, Ellaine will grow without you." 

"She'll be alright, Her Dad is with her and I know and I'm sure his girlfriend will treat her like her own daughter too, She know her better than me. I can see how much she loves Ellaine. She'll be alright." She said trying to stop her tears now.

"And you?" Holly asked. she looked at her with a broken pieces of her heart.

"I'll be okay too. I just need to rest, I think. Maybe Ellaine and I will meet again once she's in her teenage age. As of now ..." She shook her head. "yeah, as of now this is the best for all of us. Her Dad is in love and wanted to marry that girl so bad, so I have to step away. I leave my daughter because I know, Danny won't let me have her. It's better this way.. So that he won't get disturb by me. I know I am just an annoying one for him after everything I did." She said.

"I'll be okay, Hols." She said and tap her knee. "I'll have a peace of mind , Jack is gone so you don't have to worry about me. You and Glen are the only ones who knew where I'll stay. I just tell my family that I want to be alone, They can still contact me, and you too. Besides you can visit me too anytime, so don't be sad." She said

"I know, but you even quit your Job." She said.

"It's for the best, Hols. everything will be alright." She said cheering her best friend though she should be the one to cheer up to. Holly held her hand and cried. She hug her to comfort her but she end up couldn't control her emotions too.

--

Danny got home and sees his family looking after his kid, He quickly change his clothes and get his daughter.

He lie down on his bed with his daughter and look at her playing with his phone.

"Mum left again." He whispered but enough for his innocent child to hear. "She left you again." He said. He stared at the ceiling when his daughter lay down next to him playing with the phone. He's talking to a child who couldn't understand what he's talking about.

"I thought this is it, She'll divorce me and will stay as your mother, but she left you too once again, She even quit her job, that means we won't know where she could be, Your mother will have her private life, without me and that's understandable because we'll be div." He said and suddenly feel some tears. 

"But you!" He look at her. "I'm not telling you to hate your mother. She is still your Mum. You should know that, even if you grow without her." He said and left a kiss on her little forehead. He felt sad though he should be happy, He's sad that it ended this way. She make a decision that he never expect would happen.

And what now? Yes he left her, He forced her to sign that divorce paper, He hurt her physically, but he never want her to be apart from his own kid, Yes he took their kid away from her, but that's not what he wants her to know.

He made a mistake and he felt guilty for what he's done. It's been 4 weeks the last time she saw her, and it's been four weeks too since her daughter seen her mother. And now that she's gone without even saying goodbye.

He felt guilty for making them separate this way, He doesn't know what's gonna happen next, but maybe he'll try his best to be Ellaine's parent in behalf of his ex wife.