??????? ???? | Yoonminkook

I thought my heart was going to leap from my chest by the time Yoongi and Jungkook both went to their own room.

I had so much to process and it didn't seem like enough time for me.

Jungkook was a little... I knew about the lifestyle, like I had told Yoongi. But I hadn't told him that I had dabbled into it.

My mind wandered to the pressing elephant in my thoughts, and I swallowed nervously. I pulled out my phone and checked my messages, and then I made a bold decision that was totally spur of the moment, but I had to so that my anxiety didn't get the best of me.

I pressed onto a chat until it came up with options, and without thinking, I pressed "delete contact" and watched as everything disappeared.

I had been holding my breath the whole time, and I hadn't realized until I moved from the door which I had been leaning on towards the bed.

I still couldn't believe how generous the couple were. The room was more than I would have expected myself to be allowed; at the very most, I thought I would sleep on the couch or something. Not in the guest room surrounded with fluffy pillows and blankets that the adorable doe-eyed boy had insisted I take.

Today had been so long, I knew I needed to sleep. I yawned and stretched my arms a little, humming slowly as I crawled into the bed, nearly moaning at the warmth and comfiness of the material.

"Thank you, Kookie..." I said to myself, once again thanking the couple for their generosity, even if it was to myself this time.

I pulled up Spotify on my phone and played my favorite playlist called "To: From:" and my favorite song immediately came on, and I felt myself sink into my warm and bubbly night time feelings.

The song was Yam Yam by No Vacation, and I yawned and got comfy, and before I realized it, I was falling asleep.

-

"Mm..."

I was awake and feeling more big now, so I was in the kitchen getting some water when I heard soft sounds coming from the guest room.

I bit my lip, becoming curious and I walked over towards the door, listening in.

I heard small grunts and groans, and at first I thought 'Jimin is totally having a wet dream' but then I realized that wasn't the case.

He sounded afraid.

He sounded like he was in pain.

I swallowed nervously before I made my way back to Yoongi and I's room, closing the door, trying not to think of what Jimin could have been dreaming about. Of course I was worried, but I would ask him about it tomorrow.

I just hoped he was okay.

-

I was awake now, and I realized I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep again.

That dream hasn't happened to me in a while, and I knew better than to think I could sleep after I woke from it.

My whole body was in a sweat, and I was freezing, yet hot at the same time. I whimpered gently, holding my head in my hands, and before I could stop myself, I was crying.

I didn't like crying; it made the rain feel that much closer. It made me feel weak, and like all the happiness and strength I surrounded myself with is all just a wall I make. It was true, but that doesn't mean I want to think about it.

I had perfected the skill of silent crying, and I cried and cried. I wanted somebody to notice. I wanted someone to ask if I was okay.

My mind wandered to my so-called fame, and I sniffled as I remembered I was in the school of my dreams. Yet nobody here was going to ask me my name because they thought they already knew it. Park Jimin, the ballet dancer.

Sure, that was a title of mine, but I wanted someone to realize that I was Park Jimin, the boy who is being swallowed in the sea.

Of course, I had him... but that isn't what I wanted.

It isn't what I thought it would be.

Is it bad that I found myself becoming attracted to the two boys in the next room? Yes, they were together but they showed me compassion, and I had a horrible habit of falling for people way too fast and easy.

But I couldn't help it. Maybe it was the way Yoongi reached out to me and allowed me to stay here, or the way Jungkook had thrown his blankets and pillows in this bed for me without being asked.

I didn't know what it was, but I loved the feeling.

I loved the feeling of being cared for.

I wiped my eyes and I hopelessly realized they were going to puff up later. I checked my phone to see what time it was, and I was a little shocked that it was about four am. I bit my lip and swung my legs over the bed, my arms weak as I pushed myself up and off the bed, slowly walking to the door. I opened the door and welcomed myself to the quiet, empty home.

The other two were asleep, and I thought about what to do with myself. If I had been smarter I would have just gone back to bed and ignored my panging anxiety. But I was choosing the easy way out, and I decided to busy myself with going on a walk.

-

I was a panting, sweating mess as I came back to the apartment around seven thirty. A walk had turned into a run and I probably should shower considering how stinky I was.

I quietly walked into the apartment, confirming that everyone was still asleep, and grabbed some of the clothes Yoongi had said I could use and went to the bathroom.

Half an hour later, I was a clean boy, and I was dressed in what I like to call "boyfriend boxers" which are the soft ones that hang off your hips just right and go to your mid thigh. They made me feel good about myself. I also had on a white T shirt that was a bit tighter than I expected, but it showed off my muscles and I wasn't complaining about that.

I exited the bathroom and instantly realized I was hungry as fuck.

"Mm... breakfast... hey, I can just make them breakfast as payment, until I leave!" I monologued, and I smiled as I went into the kitchen, turning on the light and finding everything to make omelettes.

I loved anything that had to do with eggs and by god I made a nice ass omelette.

When nine o clock rolled around, I could hear the other two start to wake up, probably due to the smell. I smiled and I finished cleaning all the dishes. I wasn't too sure of their morning routine but I thought it would be nice for them to have a healthy breakfast!