Hideaway

I pace back and forth, Damon sitting at the table waiting for me to say something. I stop and look at him, but go back to pacing. I don't know what to say, what to do.

"If you want we can just forget it ever happened.." he says quietly. I stop and sit across from him. "That... That's not what I want. I just- I don't know." I wonder if he understands I've never really kissed anyone, no ones ever liked me. I've never had a boyfriend, been somebody's girlfriend. If I haven't had that under normal circumstances how am I supposed to have it now.

"Are you mad at me?" His eyes look sad. I feel bad for the way I reacted. "No. I just feel like if we try to be more than friends things will be all complicated and weird and I have Toby to worry about." What if we were to get into a stupid fight? What would that do to Toby. I don't know why it but it feels like it's a bad idea. "Toby loves me." He smiles a little. He does, and that's partly what worries me. "People break up you know. The odds of us being together forever are insanely slim. I don't want things between us to be ruined. We're more likely to be okay if we just stay friends." I sigh. I'm not even sure what I'm saying.

"You're thinking way too far into this. Why can't it just be as simple as I like you, and hopefully you like me too." He shrugs. I feel myself blushing. It's stupid but he's never actually said he likes me. I guess it's nice to hear. Also a little scary. "I do. Like you I mean. But I just-" I let my head fall onto the table, making a thud. I take a breath and look back up at him. "I don't know where me and Toby are gonna end up. My plans always been to get out of here though, find someplace where we don't have to hide in the woods. I don't want it to be hard to leave you. I've had to deal with that once I don't wanna do it again." I guess that's the real reason. Leaving all my friends was so hard, no matter how angry I was at her it was still hard to leave my mom. Honestly, just friends or not, I know it would hurt to leave Damon.

"You never know what's gonna happen. So how about for now we just don't think about it, let's just be." He reaches over and lays his hand on top of mine. I nod and walk over to him, pulling him up out of the chair. "If I kiss you again are you gonna freak out and have a meltdown?" He smirks. I hit his arm playfully and give him a quick peck on the cheek, before going to check on Toby.

—

    "Did you see the screen mama? It was ginormous!" Toby jumps down the sidewalk, me and Damon trail behind. We saw some kids movie about a little superhero kid. Toby loved it.
    It was a little embarrassing that he kept talking, quite loudly, during it. I did eventually get him to be quiet. "I'm doctor Dreadful!" Damon proclaims and starts chasing Toby around. I just laugh and continue walking. Today has been all over the place. I've been debating reaching out to Lexi. That would just be stupid though. There's no reason to pull her back into my life after the way I left. She'd probably hate me. "Be careful!" I shout at the boys as they both almost tumble into a trash can. It's getting dark out and they aren't paying attention to where they're going. "Come and catch us!" Toby sticks his tongue out at me with a big grin on his face, Damon does the same. I stand there for a moment debating, before I dart for both of them. We practically run the rest of the way home.

"What's on the menu today?" I hop onto the kitchen counter as Damon sits at the table across from me.
"I was thinking Alfredo." He wiggles his eyebrows and Toby comes running in. "Damon can I please play with the toys?" He smiles widely at him. Damon just nods and Toby's runs off again. "He is all over the place. He's gonna hate it when we leave." I sigh. It'll suck for me but Toby doesn't even really understand why we have to go.
"I wish you could stay." Damon gets up and walks over to me. Last time we were in this position we were making out. Which I can tell both of us are very aware of by the silence. "So you good with Alfredo?"!he asks quietly with a smile. For a moment I don't say anything, a little confused. I nod and he opens the cabinet behind me and pulls out some noodles. I laugh a little and slide off the counter, kinda just watching him.
"What?" He shrugs, pulling out a pan. "Nothing. Just....never mind." I go out to the living room to watch Toby. I'm not sure what just happened but I think he was teasing me. A little bit at least.

      We eat dinner, which was fantastic, and since Toby's practically falling asleep at the table I figure it's best if he just goes to bed.

     "But I'm not tired mama." He groans, dragging his feet up the stairs. "It's okay to be tired." I lift him up so we can move faster, Damon follows us to his room but stays in the doorway while I tuck Toby in.
"Can you sing please." Toby pulls the blanket up closer. I hesitate because Damon's right there and I feel weird singing in front of people but that's not a good reason to tell Toby no. So I nod and sit in the bed next to him, running my hand through his curls. "What song?" He thinks about it for a moment before saying "The beauty and the beast song." He's never seen the movie but he's always loved when I sing him that song.

     "Tale as old as time, True as it can be
       Barely even friends, Then somebody bends
       Unexpectedly

       Just a little change, Small to say the least
       Both a little scared, Neither one prepared

       Beauty and the beast"

   I go on singing the rest of the verses, Toby falling asleep and Damon standing silently in the doorway. Once I finish I quietly get up and walk out of the room cracking the door.

   "You have a really nice voice." Damon says smiling.
"I think really nice is a bit too far. Maybe kind of okay." My voice is nothing special. I mean I don't sound like trash but I don't sound too good either. He rolls his eyes and starts leaning closer to me.
"You know what, I'm kinda thirsty. Think I should go get some water." I turn and walk off, trying not to smile too big. Payback is sweet.

  I hear him follow me into the kitchen. I look around a remember I don't actually know where the cups are. I turn around to see him leaning against the table. "On second thought, I'm good." I shrug and lean against the counter, opposite him, waiting for him to say something. He walks over, centimeters away from me, and reaches above my head to open a cabinet. Looking me in the eyes the whole time, he pulls out a plastic cup and holds it between us. "Here." He says simply. I'm not sure what game this is but I think I lose because I throw my hands around his neck and pull him into a kiss. He drops the cup and wraps his arms around me. I push him back until we hit the table and he lifts me up as I wrap my legs around his waist. His hands grip my thighs to keep me up and I hold onto him for support.

    He walks back to the counter setting me on it, his hands traveling up my back. Everywhere he touches my skin tingles. Then a phone rings. Damon's phone. We part and just stand there panting for a moment before he pulls it out of his pocket and answers it, with one hand still on my back.

     "Long time sis. Also very bad time." I hold back a laugh as he says it smirking at me. "Really?.....I don't know, you'd have to ask him." He slips away and sits at the table. I stay perched on the counter. "When?" His face looks more serious, then he smiles. "Yeah, I'm excited to see you.....love you. Bye." He sets the phone on the table and takes a breath. "My sisters coming home." I hop off the counter and pull him up into a hug. "That's great Damon." I am happy for him, even though I feel like this will mean we get less time with him. For some reason I'm also a little sad. Maybe because he's gonna see his big sister again and it reminds me that I won't ever see mine. I keep smiling though, not wanting to ruin this for him.

*just realized this chapter ends a little abruptly, my bad, it's also really short. I'm working on being more consistent with how long the chapters are. I know this isn't a great one but don't quit on me just yet, the next ones aren't so bad. I hope.