Raglak ff: The time to Change

Ragini's POV,

I felt like flying. Soft wind brushed past me. Aroma of sweet scented flowers entered my nostrils. I frowned not knowing where I was. I slowly opened my eyes to find myself in a place that I have never seen before. It was full of flowers with different colors and varieties. It was also bit cloudy making me feel like I am standing on a cloud. I smiled seeing the place but I have no idea why I am here. Before I could remember what I was doing before I came here, I saw someone standing at some distance. Their back was facing me. That person wore a angelic white dress and had a waist length hair. So I guess it's a female. I moved towards her because I felt something inside my heart. My eyes never move away from her. It was like she had put some magical spells to my heart and mind. And when I finally reached her, I felt my heart beat vigorously like this person is so much close to it. I placed my hand on her shoulder and shivered feeling them cold. She slowly turned towards me.

Blank!

My mind was completely shut down. I couldn't think anything. How can I? I am standing infront of the woman for whom I longed for seeing just once in my lifetime. And now she is here, I didn't know how to react. I wanted to say so many things. But all I did was gulp them and kept staring at her without even blinking, afraid that she would disappear once I close my eyes. Her cold fingers ran on my cheek, that's when I realized I was crying. But when I realized it, more tears rushed down my eyes. She immediately took me in her embrace. 'So this is how it feels to be in mother's arms?' I thought to myself and tightened my hold on her.

"Maa..." I whispered. "Meri Beti!" Her soft voice filled with love hit my ears. I closed my eyes tightly and bit my lips to hold back my sob. I hid my face on her neck and cried my heart out. That's when I remembered Laksh, then my marriage, then the divorce, and then the gun shot. I shivered remembering the painful look of Laksh when he saw me in the pool of blood. I pulled back and looked at my mother, my Janaki ma and then the place. My face paled and I asked "Am I dead, maa?" To my surprise, she just chuckled while looking at my face and shook her head. 'What does that mean?' I thought and was about to ask the same, but she just turned around and started walk away. In fear of losing her again, I placed my hand on her hand and interlocked our fingers. She looked at our hands and then at me. She smiled softly and said "Come Ragu beta!" I just followed her and looked at the surroundings. 'Is this heaven? I thought for all I did to Swara and my family, I would be rotting in hell!' I thought and then shrugged.

She took me to a place where there was a big rock covered with dried leaves making a natural cushion and a huge tree just behind the rock hiding the sun from burning the creatures. I was in awe looking at that place. It was so beautiful that I wish to stay here permanently. My mom placed her hand on my shoulder and guided me to that rock and made me sit on it. She then sat beside me. I smiled at her and immediately placed my head on her lap and cuddled myself on that soft rock. She smiled and ran her fingers on my hair. It feels so good. That's when I realized how unlucky I am to not feel these feelings when I was alive. I guess I am really dead, that's why so much good things happening to me now. When I was alive, all I experienced was trouble and hatred. Of course, some loved me for what I am, but still they didn't give me the feeling that I am feeling now. More than 20 years later, I am meeting my mom. But she looks the same like in the photos at my parent's house. Parents... I guess my father will be happy now and I wish that he will be a good father for Swara atleast. My family...everyone will be happy. I felt my heart drop to my stomach when I remembered a certain person. Laksh. I remembered the last look of his face when I finally closed my eyes. He deserves better. Then I remembered my half sister, Swara. All I did to her was bad things, but still she forgave me and tries to give me happiness. Then I remembered Arjun. My Ajju... he will definitely kill me when he comes to heaven for leaving him there. I chuckled softly. I wish he would also move on. Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by my mother's soft voice.