??? ????? ?. carl grimes

Sleeping at night became a hard task for me, because Carl's not here to hold me.

It's cold, the empty space on my bed, even if there's a thick layer of blanket covering me, the space still feels cold. Because Carl should be here beside me.

I miss him, even if it's only been a day. I miss him so much and I think Enid can tell how worried I am without even saying a word. Nobody knew that Carl came with us, only the two of us, nobody else needs to know.

So far, I don't get a bad feeling at all, just a worrying one. I know Carl's still alive, he has to be. Him being alive is enough but not knowing what's going on with him right now, is eating me up.

Did he get caught? He most probably did. What's Negan doing to him right now? That's what worries me the most.

He could be doing horrifying things to Carl and showing him things, he could be hurting him physically or mentally. The thought sickens me so much. I shouldn't have let Carl go, but I know I won't be able to change his mind. I'm stubborn, but then there's Carl.

The sun came up a few hours after I got some sleep. Sasha was the one who woke me up, and when I did, Maggie and Enid had already gotten up and were outside. Sasha gives me some time alone and I give myself some time to fully wake up, before getting up. There's a little note in the middle of the table, then there's a plate of bacon, corn kernels and peas laid out. I pick the note up, reading what it says.

Eat up, bookworm!
— your best friend

My heart warms up as a smile takes over my lips, before I started eating. This is definitely from Enid. We haven't really talked about us being best friends, but it sure feels like we are. I'm not complaining, I love Enid and she's been a really great friend. Not even five minutes later when Enid enters the trailer, smiling when she sees me.

"Morning, sleepyhead." I playfully rolled my eyes at her but I immediately remembered Carl calling me that, making me miss him even more.

"Thanks for this." I told her, before finishing off the last corn kernel.

Enid hands me a cup of water before she told me that we could help people plant some crops. I agreed, that's better than doing nothing. I don't just sit around and do nothing, it's not like me at all. So, Enid and I got out of the trailer before walking over to the small farm.

"Hi," a middle-aged woman greets me and Enid.

"Farren, this is Gina." Enid introduces me and I waved at the woman. "She's gonna help plant some crops today."

Gina gives me a pair of gloves before telling me what to do. Soon, I was planting alongside Enid, sweating and getting dirt on my arms, but it's okay. I'm actually having fun. I've spent most days just walking around in Alexandria, taking care of Judith, reading a book, writing something, and spending time with Carl.

Gina asked if she could take a break for a moment and we let her, the poor lady panting and looks dehydrated.

"I never knew you could sing," Enid spoke, glancing at me as we plant. "Or write songs. Man, what else don't I know about you?"

I chuckled. "Well, you already know all my talents. So, just ask random stuff."

"Okay." Enid breaths out. "Have you eaten something that most people don't, but you have to, to survive?"