I'm Breaking

Chapter 31

Especially because he's getting married to Wendy. Heard that she's one of the closes friends of Irene too.

Just so hyung's success in repairing what they used to have, I wanted to help out because he helped me a lot during school days. And all of a sudden, his family lost to a lawsuit and got bankrupt. His mother died due to illness and their family had to move into a small apartment where they could hide from the media.

As I turned to the patient's waiting room, the television is on and is still on the news channel. When I heard the word 'Hawaii' I quickly stopped and listened to the news.

"Magnitude 9.8 earthquake hit Hawaii due to underwater volcanic eruptions of several volcanoes. Not only Hawaii, but other countries within the reach of the volcanoes were affected such as Guam, Philippines, New Zealand and more. The epicenter of the earthquake is in Honolulu, Hawaii and the entire island experience 3 waves, and 3 aftershocks. Seismologists are reviewing the graphs and waiting for the next 3 days for more aftershocks. This is by far, the most dangerous earthquake this year and broke the record back in the year 1960 in Valdivia, Chile with the magnitude of 9.5. Korean Government has issued an order to protect the country's citizens. 100 tourists, 20 military men, 15 Korean representatives, 11 nurses, and 4 doctors are recorded to be in the list of priorities, government is still finalizing the amount of citizens in the island. As of now, there aren't any updates on how many deaths and injury count. We'll be back with more news about businessman, Min Yoongi's official statement at an event held in London."

I stared at the television.

My heart beat was so fast and so loud.

A lot of people were also watching, the patients, visitors, nurses and doctors. Some of the nurses were hoping for their colleagues to be alright. Nayeon, a senior nurse, was all worried about her 2 friends there.

This resident who doesn't look Korean but can speak Korean gasped and her mouth wasn't able to close.

"Doctor Park..." she mumbled.

This resident probably is close to Chaeyoung.

A lot of gasping, whispering and mumbling filled the who patient's waiting room as they heard the news story about what happened in Hawaii. There weren't any pictures shown in the television yet, only a person reciting her article.

I couldn't process the whole thing yet.

When I was there a few days ago, everything was alright. The sun was shining bright, the beautiful wind blew the sails, the waves weren't harmful.

The hall suddenly filled with running movements and shouting.

"YAH!" I heard Lisa yell.

"Lisa, no, it's not his fault!" Jisoo stopped her.

Lisa walked up to me and slapped my face real hard, "You fucking took her for granted. If she does not come home alive and well, you're the only person in this motherfucking world I'm going to blame. She allowed you through the walls she created and you completely crushed her again. Chaeyoung has never expressed anything to you but she only talks about you every night we call each other. All she cries about is you not giving her a call or any update about whatever the hell you were doing during the day. She chose her career because she doesn't want to get attached and now that she's attached to whatever feeling she's tried to move on from ever since that damn idiot that happened, YOU...you fucking broke her heart. So if you're happy with whatever plans you have to hurt her because she left, there. You got what you want. She's in an island in America with an earthquake putting her to shit, and I bet she's not even caring about how she feels and decides to treat people because she solemnly sweared."

"Lisa," Jisoo tried to pull her arm. "Let's go."

Lisa's angry face stared at me.

I held my swollen cheek and said, "I did--"

She held her pointer at me, "You were that one person who brought Chaeyoung back to life. The way she used to smile when she was still happy. Before her life could start getting messed up. Everyone had faith in you to bring back the person who loves to eat a lot, the person who'd go home no matter what time, the person who'd stay positive, the person who'd get cranky if she doesn't get high scores. Touch her, and I will make sure your pretty face will be broken."

Lisa turned to Jisoo and started walking to the other side of the hall. Then Jisoo's phone rang, I can hear it from here because it echoed throughout the halls.

"Alice-eonnie," Jisoo says and looks at me. "She'll be fine, don't worry. We'll contact you if there's any news."

I walked out of the hospital and down to the basement parking, went inside my car and sat on the leather chairs. I placed my hands on my face and rubbed it hardly.

Lisa is right.

This is all my fault.

If I hadn't acted that way, she would've been on her way home. Her embraces could've made it's way to me. Her laughs could've filled the air.

Ugh, GOD DAMMIT, JUNGKOOK!

I punched the stirring wheel.

What was that nonsense?! She's only a 'phase'?! If it weren't for her, I would've still visited Yuri's grave and made a dead person be alive in my imaginations. Everything you said was just because of that one person who comes back into my life.

I don't know how to reach her.

Chaeyoung..

Rose...

Rosie..

Roseanne..

Chae..

I don't know my feelings, yet. I'm sorry for being this slow.

But why do I feel sad, angry, regretful and guilt?

No one's ever wanted to keep me company like you. You love getting close to me. You wanted to stay away from at first and now I'm the one pushing you away.

Why?

I know too well it isn't Jieun.

It's because..I..don't know how to reach you.

I don't know how to protect you.

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1/2

iz out------