Russell and Ian lay with their hands intertwined in Ian's room. Ian almost feels like he's holding on for dear life as the dip his bed makes in his matress swallows him up.
"You're making this so much worse" Ian says, voice barley above a whisper. He squeezes Russell's hand tighter as he says it.
"Im sorry" Russell mumbles for probably the hundredth time that night, he's barley sobering up and he can't quite remember what he's sorry for each time he says it. Russell walked all the way from the still ongoing party to Romils after Ian texted him the address. Ian sat on the porch for twenty minutes while Ashlan and Romil slept. Russell drank as much as he could after Merlyn dragged Ian out of the closet. He was definitely sorry then. "Ian I think.." The taller boy's eyebrows furrowed, Ian could practically hear the gears grinding in his head.
"I think everything is going to be okay. Like yeah things are bad. But we'll be fine." He nods his head, like he's trying to believe himself.
"Okay Russell" Ian still doesn't want him there. In his bed or his room, in his house or in his town. He wants him back in Arizona. He shouldn't be back. Ian doesnt want him to be back. But he won't let go of his hand.
"You know I hate it in Arizona." Ian can't help but to feel bad for him. He shakes his hand, he might as well pry, right?
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, only thing good to come of that whole state is ciaran. We want to move in together." Ian feels jealousy burn in his chest and he hates it. He shouldn't feel jealous over Russell. "I've never had a bestfriend before. He wants to go to California"
"Do you want to?"
"I'd go anywhere with him. But...I'll only be farther from you."
"That's okay. I can go with, so can Matt, and Romil and Ashlan. Roy too" Ian can see it all as he lays his head on Russell's chest, the rising and falling of it bringing him peace. "You'd love those two"
"What about Merlyn? You'll miss him"
Ian's hand loosens from Russell's a bit. Their fingers now barley touching. Ian sighs and kisses Russell's shoulder.
"Will you leave before my mom wakes up?"
"Okay"
Tried 3rd person :>>
