i stare up at the massive window, watching the plane roll along the tarmac. my eyes wander to the front of it and i imagine billie waving at me. grinning, i wave and blow a kiss in the plane's direction, hoping she's looking.
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as the plane lifts off into the morning sun, the tears still haven't really stopped and everything that just happened finally sets in.
i'm suddenly glad to be sitting down, as i'm sure my knees would have buckled under me if i were upright. my head is in my hands, and i hear people chatting and walking all around me. it's far, far too loud. my hands move and block my ears, taking out most of the sound. i pull my knees up to my chest and squeeze my eyes shut.
this is how i stay for some time. a woman kneels down in front of me.
'is someone coming to get you, love?' she says, sympathy laced into her voice. i stay quiet, hoping she'll take my silence as a yes and leave me be.
unfortunately, she doesn't get the hint either.
'can you answer me, dear? is everything okay?' she says. her hand touches my arm, pulling it from my ear.
'can you hear me now?' i stare at her blankly, yanking my arm away and pushing it back to my ear, thankfully blocking out the noise.
she sighs, sounding disappointed.
'i'll leave you to it, then.' she says coldly. she stands up in a huff and leaves.
it's ten minutes before someone else speaks to me.
'nora?'
i open my eyes gladly to see my mum. she pulls me into a gentle hug. carefully taking me by the elbow, not letting my hands leave my ears, she walks me out of the airport. we drive home in silence, only broken by my sobs.
an: quick rundown, nora had a panic attack, putting your fingers in your ears blocks out surrounding sound but you can still hear someone talking to you loudly
