fragile | jelix

"you feeling alright now?" there he was, laying in my arms, that same fragile boy who a few months before had told me to never cross the line by his bed. i made sure he was comfortable and that he wasn't in pain. i didn't want to hurt him. the fact that i was holding him struck fear in me. i was scared something was going to happen to him. but it was incredibly nice to be cuddling with him...and i know i've said it a lot, but he was so fucking cute.

"yeah..." he replied. he wasn't crying anymore which was good. sometimes he would just sniffle a little bit.

"you ready to tell me what happened?" he dried his eyes with his hands and nuzzled his head into my chest a little more, which nearly gave me a heart attack. one because i was scared he would hurt his neck or his head or something, two because it was so damn adorable that i thought my heart was going to explode.

"i needed to go to the bathroom but my legs have been aching more than usual today so i thought it would be best to use the wheelchair instead of walking. but when i was getting into the chair...i'm not really quite sure what happened...i just ended up on the floor and i couldn't move. i called for my aunt but she didn't hear me. i'd been down there for about 10 minutes before you got here."

a strong sense of anger rushed through my veins hearing that he had been calling for his aunt but she never went to him. i was even more thankful that i had gone over on that day. if i hadn't, jack might have been stuck on the floor for hours.

"i'm so sorry...are your parents not home?"

"they went to get groceries. if they were here my mom would have come running upstairs within 10 seconds." so, his aunt was useless basically. i made a mental note of that.

"has this kind of thing happened before?" i asked.

"a couple of times, yeah. i'm just sick of this. i'm sick of being made of glass. i hate myself so much and i just want to have a normal life, one where i'm not trapped in my own home. my life has pretty much no meaning to it whatsoever. all i do is sit in this bed and stare at these walls all day every day. the only way i wouldn't have to suffer with my condition anymore would be to just stop living this pointless life. most days i think i might as well."

hearing him talk like that broke my heart. listening to him say that he hates himself, that his life has no meaning, that he might as well be dead, it brought tears to my eyes, because it was someone i really really loved saying those things. and i couldn't really do anything to help him or change his mind.

"every single life has a meaning. i just don't think you're aware of yours yet." was all that i had to offer, but he seemed to appreciate my small
commentary. he looked up at me and smiled before looking back down, the smile disappearing. it was in that moment that i felt like doing only one thing more than anything else in the world.

"hey...look at me..." he sighed before looking up at me, his eyes sparkling beautifully. i moved my hand towards his face carefully, placing it on his cheek. he didn't tell me not to, and he didn't seem uncomfortable, so i took it as him saying that was fine. i slowly stroked his soft skin with my thumb, to which i received a tiny bit of a grin. i moved my hand towards his hair. his hair was so soft, smooth and fluffy...it was so nice to touch. i began to run my hand through his gorgeous locks, gaining a smile from him. i knew i had to do what i had to do. i leaned down and for the second time placed my lips upon his for a kiss that i would cherish forever.

and he kissed me back.