Alone [IkariShipping/Paul x Dawn]

Dawn had said there was a lot of tension between her and the girl who's given her the most trouble. We've been talking every night since she called. And though I haven't been sleeping as much, I've accepted my new nocturnal state. It gives me a great sense of comfort knowing that our relationship is so much sturdier than it was a week ago.

By the light of my laptop screen I was ready to watch the new episode of Dawn's show. I skipped ahead until I caught sight of her. The host began explaining the rules of this week to everyone. It seemed as if they were all split into their strong suits, creating three big groups of either singing, dancing, or rapping. The judges then chose the groups based on who they thought would work best with each other. This was a ploy— they actually chose the groups based on what would make good television. This was blatantly obvious when Dawn and Ji Su were the first called out of their group, and the rest was molded around them. Girls who would easily conform to one side or the other side of an argument.

They were doing a song famous in Korea, and instantly started arguing over who got what solos. Ji Su started with, "Since I'm an audience favorite, I think I should be main vocalist."

Dawn countered, sweetly, "I don't care if it's me, but I think we should maybe give that opportunity to someone who wasn't gotten to be main vocalist yet? I mean, we all are strong singers, any one of us could do it."

Most of the girls sided with Ji Su, making the point that their group wouldn't get noticed if a top ranked participant wasn't front and center, so that's what they decided to do. Dawn ended up with a few solos, though she was the strongest singer out of all of them, even when she was fighting off the finalities of her sickness.

Ji Su was completely unafraid of trashing Dawn with false claims. "Whee In you're off, you're pitchy." "You're making the group look bad Whee In."

And Dawn kept her cool, though knowing her and knowing how frustrated she got, especially telling me every night after rehearsal, I could see her mind buzzing with fumes and angered words she wouldn't dare say. It wasn't in her character.

But soon after we saw her in an interview, slightly glassy-eyed. "I don't want to fight back because that's not who I am, and not who I want to display to everyone sitting at home. I want the people of Korea to know exactly what person they're voting for, and having represent them." I was so proud of her. I knew how hard it was for her, it made her feel like she was back in that shitty band with those bullies. She was worth so much more than that.

It cut to a few less problematic groups, getting to know their story and work efforts.

Soon enough it was the performance segment of the episode. The cameraman was interviewing another girl, but it caught my attention in the back that Ji Su had Dawn cornered. All I could see were the subtitles along with slight muttering, "Do not screw this up, got it?"

Dawn replied calmly, "Ji Su, I don't need to take this. We are all in the competition, going through this together. There's no need to single me out for mistakes I'm not even making." Ji Su clearly wasn't expecting a response out of her. But, Dawn gave her one of her signature smiles and merely said, "I'll see you out there, okay?"

Their song was okay, Dawn's voice sounded slightly fatigued still, but she did great with expression, dance, and her white sleek shorts and jacket made her look gorgeous. Everything really complimented those oceanic pearls of the eyes I missed so much.

She scored the most out of her group, earning so many glares from Ji Su. But these ranks were just how the judges thought they performed, it meant nothing to their actual ranking from the audience and viewership.

I skipped to the ranking segment out of all 81 girls. Dawn of course was ranked at 81 and I could sense her nervous energy. They were kicking off another 20 girls this week, leaving only 61 girls.

They started at rank 60, which wasn't Dawn. And as they continued down the line, I became more and more nervous for her. I knew I wanted her home, but I've also learned how much this competition means to her and I didn't want that stripped away from her. Not now.

Dawn fell in rank 46, and was so thankful, it was easy to tell in her beautiful features. Her jawline sharp as well as the point in her nose. Her smile was abundant, and grew even wider when Ji Su placed 8th.

Karma.