Should Not Fall Deeply

Chapter 1
Encounter

The sky above, with the endless light of the sun, shone luminously as it spreads the effulgence before the sun finally sets. The blended shade of orange and purple eases my worries even for a moment. From my window, the afternoon breeze dances the curtains of my room. It has reminded that beauty can be found in such difficult circumstances. Kung paano maging malaya sa lahat ng problema. Far from the chaos of the world. That's what I truly want from the very start, be free from the chains that hold me back.

I sighed. Papalubog na ang araw, tila ba mawawala na anumang oras. The city lights of various colours has began to gleam, it's getting dark anytime soon. I have my thoughts of what possibly could happen if I hadn't come back.

"You're gonna marry him."

Those are the words that welcomed me as soon as Daddy walked into my room. I was unpacking my make-up set and now I figured he's here to convince me tie the knot. Through the mirror, I met my father's furious eyes. He was mad, but so was I. Kagagaling ko lang galing ibang bansa ngunit ito agad ang salubong niya sa akin.

Umiling ako at hindi nagpaapekto sa kanyang presensya. "I have three things in my priority list. I, myself and my career. Marriage is the fourth."

He's used me all the time for his own gain. Simula pagkabata, hanggang ngayon. I had thought I have escaped him when I'd left under his care to pursue my dreams abroad yet here I am, back to where I used to be. Fate really loves to play.

Kasal ang huling nasa isip ko. Ang dami-dami ko nang problema, uunahin ko pa ba ang lalaki?

"You caused enough shame to this family, Iris. This is the only thing I ask of you." Napatigil ako sa pag-aayos ng gamit dahil sa kanyang sinabi. "You have brought nothing but embarrassment. Your scandals abroad has tainted our family's reputation!"

I faced him. Matagal nang sira ang reputasyon ng pamilya ko. Dinagdagan ko lang!

"Maybe you should've aborted me, then." Pabalang kong sagot.

Sinasabi niyang matalino siya dahil sa success ng kanyang kumpanya pero kung talagang matalino siya, bakit hindi niya naisipang gumamit ng condom habang ginagawa ako? They were not even contented. Nasundan pa ng isa!

Pinagpatuloy kong ayusin ang mga gamit. Inilabas ko ang mga dami ko galing maleta saka iyon inilagay sa cabinet. glanced at him again. Umismid ako nang makitang nangingitngit na siya sa galit.

"Your mother's on the run. I can have her caught."

Doon ako natigilan. Had I not known him for years, I should be frightened, trembling by his roaring voice like a scared lamb with thoughts of being unalive by vicious predators. But I know him for so long that I thought I'm rather cursed than blessed of having his as my father. This has been our usual day. Kung sa ibang pamilya, pagpaparamdam ng pagmamahal sa isa't isa ang salubong sa araw-araw, hindi kami gano'n. Our family is built with anything but love. So if asked, Daddy's definition of familial love is not ideal.

Alam kong ligtas ang kalagayan ni Mama ngayon. Kinaya niya noon magtiis sa puder ni Daddy, mas kakayanin niya ngayon.

"You can never find her." Sigurado kong sabi.

He had filed a case of theft against my mother in which he claimed she had stolen jewelries, land titles, and some important paperworks. Now, my mother's on the run for months. And he's using my mother to grip me on my neck. I clenched my fist as watched his heaved breaths, sign of his anger.

Contrary to his accusations, I know my Mama. Hindi ako pinalaking tanga upang hindi makita na isa ito sa mga plano ni Daddy upang kontrolin ako. Sergio Alonzo is not a typical father. He's a control freak, always been strict and callous as though the rain from the clouds above his head had drown him to be bitter in life. He married Mama after I was conceived. It's a mistake, as he used to say. But nothing hurts me more to witness my mother's constant pain during her stay with him for years.