Reach Above and Beyond

I pretend that I am made out of steel,

That I don't feel,

Any of the hurt,

From the words you say.

Each single syllable,

Each single phrase,

You utter,

Carves another ruby line,

Somewhere in my mind,

And I can't seem to find,

Solace anywhere.

God, are you listening to me?

Do you not see me here?

One of your children is cowering in fear.

Are you abandoning me,

Like a lone tree,

In a forest that falls down without a sound?

With no one to hear it,

As it collapses to the ground?

Sometimes I feel so empty,

And I want to ask myself,

Why can't I see?

Why can't I see,

The shining light at the end of the tunnel,

The sliver of hope in a sea of desperation?

I need to funnel,

All of these emotions that I feel.

Before it's too late, before I seal,

Them all away,

In a place where they will never see,

Another day.

These bruises, these scars, these slashes on my skin,

Don't define who I am as a person within.

I am broken, beautiful, and lost,

I am trying to search for a better me.

I need to break free.

Why can't I perceive my future?

Is it because of these sutures,

That are barely holding the broken pieces of my heart together?

I need to be strong.

I need to hold on.

I can't be wrong.

I can't give up without a fight,

I can't cry until I lose my sight.

I need to pick my battered self up from the ground.

I cannot lie here waiting, hoping to be found.

Life doesn't just work that way.

So, what can I say,

To motivate myself to get up,

To not give up, to climb high and reach for the stars.

I feel so scared, so helpless down here with all of my scars.

I mustn't succumb to all of my fears and insecurities,

I need to break free,

From them and never look back.

The deck maybe stacked,

Against me, and I know I might never win.

But I'll never admit defeat,

As long I can feel my heartbeat within.

I can feel my grip slipping,

As I try to hang on with the remnants of my strength.

I need to hold on not just for myself,

Or for my goals within arm's length.

I need to hold on for all of those who depend on me,

For those who are in the same situation,

And at the same point of desperation.

I can't give up this fight,

No matter how much my lungs scream out.

I will move on forward.

I will have no doubt.

I will hold on until I have nothing left.

I will make it through,

For me, for you,

For all of those who,

Can't do it themselves.

I will not abandon them,

High and dry,

Like a glass boat on a dusty shelf.

I will not let our hope die,

Even if all I can do is try.