Finding Ourselves Together (READ REVAMP VERSION - IN WAVES)

When Nate's eyes had focused on my lips and he looked at me with that hunger, my brain took the reins and had imagined everything beyond that. Only a fantasy, when in reality he was still waiting for me to let go of him like I told him I would.

What the actual hell is wrong with me?

I cannot believe I conjured that up. It was exactly the same on my date with Matt; when I pictured myself kissing Nate instead of him. Except this time – it was so, so much more intense.

"Right, yeah, I'm letting go." I finally answered and unraveled myself from him.

As soon as I started floating away, I felt vulnerable and defenseless. There was a sudden coldness where my skin was touching his, and that black, cloudy water wasn't making it any easier to feel safe about the unknown depths we were treading in.

I couldn't help but grab onto him again. "Nope, sorry can't do it."

Nate laughed and welcomed me back, securing his arm around my waist once more.

"Just think of something gross so 'he' will leave." I muttered with flushed cheeks.

"Fine I'll give it a shot. What do you suggest?"

"I dunno." I rolled my eyes and tried to avoid looking at him, my lips still tingling from that imaginary kiss that felt so incredibly real. I shoved the thought out of my mind and came up with an unattractive image that would help his problem. "How about a naked old grandma? With flabby skin and wrinkles. Oh, and food stuck in her teeth!"

"Goddamn." Nate uttered with a mix of repulsion and surprise. "Yeah that's working, alright."

"What can I say? I'm a natural." I bragged with exaggerated cockiness.

"At what? Instantly turning me off?" He smirked, amused. "Not many girls would be proud of that."

"Well, I guess I'm not like many girls then."

Nate lowered his head and paused, softly smiling to himself before looking back up. "Nope, you're definitely not...but that's a good thing."

* * *

After a while I finally convinced Nate that it was time to get out of the water, I swear he could have stayed out there for hours. We trudged up the sandbank and shook out our clothing, patting down our wet skin since we didn't have towels or anything else with us. I noticed Nate glancing at my body a few times as we dressed, and my familiar self-consciousness crawled back under the glowing light of the moon, urging me to cover myself from him. My damp bra and panties were uncomfortable under the dry clothes, and I hoped that they wouldn't soak through the fabric or give me a rash.

While swimming in the ocean at night freaked me out at first, I had to admit that I was feeling a lot better than how I was before. Nate helped me get out of my head, something I struggled with way too often. He just had a way of calming me, no matter what the situation was.

We strolled back to the party in no rush. Chatting and laughing about nothing was comforting, it was so easy talking to him. Our sinking footprints left a trail behind us, and I wondered how long it would be until the tide would rise and they'd fade away. Years from now, I didn't want to look back on this night and see it as a little speck in my memories of high school, not remembering the details or the conversations had. I didn't want it to ever fade away like our footprints soon would.

"Where have you guys been?" Blake jogged up to us as we came into the party area again, his eyes swooping over our damp appearances. "You look all sweaty."