Sakura (How to Obtain a Reverse Harem in Naruto)

The Rainbow Stick Story

Blinking vapidly I gave him a curious look. Madara shrugged. "It's not my first rodeo."

"Well this is lovely," Hashirama said with a big smile. "I'm so happy we get to meet you before you meet us. I mean—you know."

"Not entirely, but I can take a guess," I responded. "So, anything I need to know about the next life?"

"Maddie lo—" Madara dug his fist into the Hashirama clone looking thoroughly pissed. Hashirama clutched at his face and whined. "Ugh. So rude! Just save my brothers, okay?"

"Mm. Okay," I agreed. "I'll be prepared to save some brothers, no problem-o."

"Don't try to claim tuberculosis as ibusism again. I will kick your ass if you do," Madara threatened.

"I would never," I lied.

"The Forest Shrine is crazy creepy. Don't let me go into it by myself," Hashirama added.

"And do not let that stupid thief kidnap you again. Obito was right, the little shit deserves death," Madara snapped. Hashirama giggled, giving Madara a thoroughly amused look. Madara glared hotly at both of us. "I mean it!"

"Okay, okay. I'll do my best," I settled on.

Both boys nodded.

I scratched my cheek. "So I have this harem-"

"Great Sage, not this again," Madara bemoaned.

"I'll join the harem again!" Hashirama excitedly said. "And Mito would join, too."

"Excellent, I'll count you both as members then."

"I will never join your harem," Madara snapped at me. "Stop asking."

"Come now, don't be like that. My harem is amazing. Everyone else wants in. Don't you want to fit in?"

"I will hurt you," he threatened.

"You're already hurting me by saying no."

He broke my nose.

Why does that feel nostalgic? I questioned as I fixed my nose. "Jeeze, so violent."

"Oh hey Obito's about to be defeated," Hashirama pointed out, and sure as shit my little troublemaker was getting pounded into the ground.

"Give it about five minutes for Naruto's therapy-no-jutsu to kick in then I'll release the seal," Madara dismissively said. "Are we forgetting to tell her anything else?"

Hashirama furrowed his brow as he held one his hands and began to count off with his fingers. "Shrine Forest Insanity, check. Save siblings, check. Avoid X, check."

"Don't start another harem," Madara added.

"Aw but the harem was fun," Hashirama argued. "I love my harem sweater."

"No. No harem," Madara stubbornly said.

"I think someone needs a grumpy hug," I observed, inching closer.

"Don't touch me," he hissed which was just instantly grounds for Hashirama and I wrapping our arms around him and engulfing him in our group hug. Kind of uncomfortable because of his armor, but whatever.

I soothed him, "There, there."

"You'll always be our favorite Uchiha," Hashirama cooed.

"We love you," I added.

"I. Hate. You. Both." Madara threw us off him before snapping out. "Don't touch me again, peasants. I have to release the seal now."

He did a few handseals and that seem to do the trick since Obito immediately started to cast the mass resurrection jutsu.