Sakura (How to Obtain a Reverse Harem in Naruto)

The Rainbow Stick Story

"Okay, we're done here," Madara declared.

As the white light shone around the two of them—signaling the end of the jutsu—they both pulled me towards them. I could feel everyone else's chakra start to converge onto us. They likely believed I was still Madara's hostage, and all of their chakras were deeply unsettled and conveyed a sense of worry. Hashirama hugged me tightly, kissing the top of my head and rubbing my back.

All of my friends had arrived, then, and Naruto shouted, "Sakura-chan!"

Hashirama let me go and I turned towards Madara.

He smirked at me, pulled me close and gave me a chaste kiss.

I gasped, my hands flying up to my mouth. "You stole this life's first kiss!"

"Fair's fair," Madara said, a wide grin on his face. "Feel free to keep swearing in my name this life, too."

"Well duh."

"See you later, peasant."

Then the white light covered both of them and they were gone, leftover corpses falling down to the ground in their wake.

Then Naruto body tackled me into the ground with a cry of, "SAKURA ARE YOU OKAY?!"

"I love you," I wheezed, despite my ball of sunshine apparently breaking my ribs in his concern. "Sorry for worrying you."

"Why did Madara kidnap you?" Sasuke suspiciously asked as he caught up to Naruto. "He killed everyone else."

"He wanted my booty."

Kakashi was the next to come to my rescue, warily looking at me. "I can't say I'm surprised anymore. Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to you."
"Then would you be surprised if I asked you to join my harem now?" I cheekily asked him, grinning widely. "Obito's gonna join after he tells me the story."

Kakashi looked up at the early morning sky, let out a long, long sigh then said, "I want weekend brunches made for me for the rest of my life."
"Deal!"

"And a handknit sweater," he sniffed.

"Double deal!"

I did a little dance in place as more of my friends showed up to see that I was somehow not stabbed to death by Madara. None of them seemed shocked by that, only mildly curious.

Except Tenzou who flatly told me, "The most evil shinobi in history, who murdered hundreds prior, chooses to spare you? Why? And why did Hashirama-sama tend to you?"

"I appreciate your concern, but Hashirama is a loyal harem member and Madara accepts me as his fangirl," I consoled them. "I was in no real danger. Now before I hug and kiss all of you, there's something I have to take care of first."

It would have been amusing to fabricate some dramatic story about how the three of us were secretly engaged or something, but I remembered I had to deal with something first.

Namely, I had to get my Rainbow Stick story before a certain Good Boy™ move on. So I hopped away from my friends and headed over to where Obito laid, entirely alone and abandoned.

Obito was dying.

The resurrection jutsu had too high of a toll. Canonically he had stayed on sheer willpower alone, but there was no need to linger.

He didn't want to linger.

So he laid on his back, tired and dying.

I sat beside him, tenderly taking his hand.