IDIOT AND THE BEAST

tw: slur words, panic attack

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CHAPTER 11 — WHAT HAPPENS IN THE DARK...

[DANESH]

I move around, trying to find a more comfortable position to sleep. It is hard sleeping while sitting, and I can feel that my back is starting to hurt. I feel Zach's arm around me pull me in cl–

Wait, I am jolted back into consciousness abruptly, What–

I am lying against Zacharrine's chest and I can his arm firmly holding onto me, I can even hear his heart beating in his chest, rhythmically and I reckon I can be lulled back to sleep if I only focused on the sound of his heart.

No, I remove his arm and sit up, putting a few inches of space between us. No, that didn't just happen.

I look around me and it is actually quite dark — the candles all burnt off. I take out my phone from my jeans pocket and check the time — it is 11.37 pm. I drag a hand down my face, yawning. I am still quite tired. I look at the sleeping idiot beside me, his breathing slow, body relaxed. I turn on the flashlight on my phone and shine it directly on his face, just for the hell of it, but he doesn't even budge an inch.

I keep the light on his face for a few more seconds, letting myself look at him — really look at him. His hair has grown long enough for it to form an uneven fringe across his forehead, falling just above his eyes. He has a crooked nose, I notice, and quite wide lips. I shut down the flashlight when it occurred to me I have been staring.

I have always found that creepy: watching someone while they're sleeping. It has been widely romanticised though, especially in all the vampire related books and movies and shows — Twilight, Vampire Diaries, True Blood, there is a lot, really. No, I don't watch them, Valerie does, and being the good, responsible brother I am, I accompany her every single time.

Sleeping is when we are at our most vulnerable state; we no longer have any control on what we're portraying on our faces, our masks slipped off, and everything that we (or at least some of us) usually try to keep concealed in bare sight for anyone to notice. How is that in any angle romantic? It is just bland creepy.

I never got that, and yet here I am doing exactly that. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Sighing to myself, I start to move away when I suddenly feel someone grab my wrist. My heart almost jumps out of my chest from the sudden fright, but I notice it is only Zacharrine.

Of course, it is Zacharrine, who else can it be — vampires? Okay, I shouldn't be thinking about blood-sucking creatures so late at night, it is starting to get to me.

"Where are you going?" he asks in a gruff voice.

I remove my hand from his hold, suddenly reminded of our previous position, "I thought you were sleeping," I say in a whisper.

There is something about the hush of the night that I don't want to disturb — it is calming.

"I was," he whispers back as well, "Where are you going?"

I didn't need any light to tell me that his gaze is solely fixed on me; it is like having laser pointed directly at me — kind of unnerving.

"Just... over there," I nod to the opposite side, "I'm gonna just lie down over there. You should go back to sleep too," I say in a rushed manner, and start to crawl away, but he is quick to grab my hand and stop me from moving too far.

I remain kneeling, pulling my hand away from his hold once again and wish that we aren't engulfed in complete darkness; although my eyes have gotten used to the darkness, I can see some of the things around me. The silence isn't calming anymore, it is deafening. I can hear my heartbeats so loud in my ear, I wonder if he can hear them too. I wonder what he'll think if he can hear them. They are unreasonably loud, frantic heartbeats — they shouldn't be beating this hard, I'm pretty sure it is unhealthy.