Tommo is Typing

[Wednesday, March 31st, 2010 - 3:26 AM]

Haz: Lou, I need you to teach me how to be more like you.

Tommo: well, i think an important step one is to stop nerding out at any chance you get

Haz: I do not nerd out.

Tommo: i've had to relive year 10 science every time we talk

Haz: I loved year 10 science, we dissected a frog.

Haz: In case you were curious, I called mine Linda.

Tommo: course ya did

Haz: I'm deeply traumatized and live with severe guilt.

Tommo: oh, i bet you do

Haz: Everytime I see a frog I start crying.

Tommo: on brand

Haz: But did you know the frog's liver takes up the majority of its internal cavity?

Tommo: and there it is

Tommo: do you see what i mean now?

Haz: Yeah, yeah, I'm a nerd. Let's move on, this isn't even what I was asking about.

Haz: I want you to teach me how to be sassy like you.

Haz: I need people to respect me more.

Tommo: oh my god, oh my god

Tommo: i always knew this day would come but i didn't think it would be so soon

Tommo: i need to get me manual-

Tommo: jesus, i'm not prepared

Haz: I honestly didn't think you would be this excited.

Tommo: i'm ecstatic, hazza

Tommo: i've wanted to see you roast someone from the moment that we met

Tommo: i can die in peace now

Haz: Are you done fangirling yet? We have work to do.

Tommo: alright, alright, impatient. such a drama queen these days

Haz: Isn't that step one to becoming you?

Tommo: okay, i see what you're trying to do, but i'm still offended

Haz: I see that as a success then.

Tommo: step one - know your opponent

Tommo: i'm a queen, and i damn well know it. i'm not insulted in the slightest

Haz: Then why did you say you were offended?

Tommo: i felt bad

Tommo: regardless, you failed

Tommo: and here i was thinking that you were doing so well

Haz: Your mum's doing well.

Tommo: well that's not-

Tommo: if anything that had the opposite effect

Tommo: she's doing great i'll have you know

Haz: That's great!

Tommo: step two - there's always opportunity for a burn

Haz: Pfft, I can do that.

Tommo: go on then

Haz: Aren't you gonna give me a prompt or something?

Tommo: absolutely not

Tommo: you should always be loaded with a witty insult

Haz: Are you expired milk? Because you're the sour af.

Haz: Did I do it? I swore and everything!

Tommo: i don't even want to acknowledge the existence of that, let's just move on

Tommo: step three - punctuation is for losers

Haz: Lou, I think this one is impossible.

Tommo: let's do this in baby steps, alright?

Haz: I'll try.

Tommo: right then, lose the period

Haz: Okay this is fine

Tommo: why don't you call grandma down for dinner, h?

Haz: I know what you're doing and I don't like it

Haz: Let's eat grandma

Tommo: HARRY NO!

Haz: You're a twat

Tommo: weak insult for the record

Haz: I don't think I can do it anymore

Haz: It feels unnatural

Haz: I'm sorry, Lou.

Tommo: are you going to be able to do this the tommo way, or not?

Haz: Evidently not.

Tommo: this may just take years

Tommo is typing...