insomnia hotline? choi yeonjun

4

that's definitely not the way to my house.

"o-oh.." i chuckled to myself, and he bowed his head, "goodbye.." he greeted. i wanted to stop him but the only thoughts i had were 'those are some puppy eyes you've got' as he hurriedly took off to his street, and i was left in the rain without any reaction. or a goodbye back.

of course he wouldn't offer me his umbrella, we aren't close. and worse, we don't even know each other.

i clenched my fist and crumpled the piece of paper yeonjun just passed over to me. i don't have any idea why the past just rolled in my head like a freakin' scene in a movie, but it just did. for the drama, i guess.

that was the first day i met him.

i double-checked and both my friends were still busy being dumb asses at class. i looked behind and saw rian looking at me with her typical dead- bored-and-uninterested face expression. and that's completely okay. i feel like i'm safe if rian knew, but if yieung knew? she'd be lashing at me and call me a traitor for stealing her fantasy self proclaimed boyfie.

¤

the bell rang. and i quickly stood up to walk out of the room without even saying a word to my girl friends. i just dashed out real fast so yeonjun wouldn't even be able to catch up to me, or approach me, or stop me for a little chat.

i stopped walking at our doorway and looked at the direction of soobin's classroom, and wondered if he'd walk out with park eunbin, or if he'd go first, or if she would.

i was going to take my steps and just wait for him in front of their classroom but someone held me back, taking ahold of my wrist.

i turned my head to look at choi yeonjun with his hurried expression.

"go yunhee," he said my name, raising both eyebrows, "it's you, right?" he asked. and i almost exploded in anger but he let go of my hand before i could pull it away from him, "s-sorry." he apologized, keeping his hand to himself.

"it's.. whatever. choi yeonjun, right?" i asked, casual tone, like we're friends. but we were friends so- man, i don't know what i'm saying. "from middle school?" i added, because i knew he was waiting for me to say it.

"so you do remember me!" he exclaimed, happiness painted all over his face.

how are you so cheerful?

"i thought you forgot abou-"

"wifey!"

i snapped out of my emo thoughts as well as yeonjun's words got cut. i did a quick reaction, turning around in a millisecond and all that to see soobin. i also noticed that yeonjun had fixed his eyes behind me too.

i felt soobin's arm wrap around my shoulder as i smile at him, "soobin," i sighed in relief. finally, he's here. i need to avoid yeonjun as much as possible before i.. get confused with my feelings.

"who's that?" soobin asked me, facing yeonjun. i also turned to face yeonjun with my brows raised. oh, he's my first love! and he's the one who should be responsible for making my life this messed up.

"just the transfer student." i answered.

just the transfer student?

as much as it hurt my feelings to deny my past with yeonjun, it seems like yeonjun was also offended, judging by the way his smile just faded.

"we knew each other in middle school, so.." i added, my voice's volume going slightly lower in guilt of hurting both parties.

"today's menu is pork cuts!" soobin replied, like he didn't even pay attention to what i just said. i just pushed a smile and got along with him as he started walking.

we walked past yeonjun whose gaze was stuck at where i was standing from earlier. he looks... fazed.. a lot.

soobin started saying stuff about class as i looked behind us and to yeonjun. yeonjun was then looking at me, with a blank expression plastered on his face.

when our eyes met, he gave a reassuring smile. almost telepathically saying that everything was okay, and that he was okay, and that everything will be okay.

but, will things really be okay?

if you need help, reach out to family, friends, mental health professionals, or a local helpline.