IDIOT AND THE BEAST

15. I'LL GO IF HE GOES

I just went to his house, instead of going to school, to give back his phone that he left at the Lost House last night — oh yeah, we were together last night because he had seen his mother with Josh's father — but I didn't end up giving back his phone because I left it in my room. And then, I apologised to him about the things I said to him yesterday after he kissed me — yes, apparently the idiot liked me and no, this isn't the first time he is kissing me. And then after apologising, I could have gone home, or even to school, but no. I stayed with him and watched movies, and only left like ten minutes ago.

Ok, there is a lot he can tell Valerie. I have to stop her from going in there.

Or.... I can always tag along.

़़़

[ZACH]

Let me tell you something about myself. I'm a very simple guy with very simple thoughts. If I liked something, I liked it; if I don't, I don't. My world is black and white — there are no grey areas. I don't do well in grey areas.

And yet here I am attracted to someone who is completely immersed in everything to do with grey areas. He is complicated, unclear, uncertain, muddy, undecipherable; just a walking paradox, all in all. And I don't know what to do with him.

I like him — simple and clear. And if my feelings are reciprocated or not, should be simple and clear too — either he likes me or don't. But it just isn't, he is making everything complicated.

One minute he's acting as if he can't stand the mere sight of me, and the next he's trying to break my window just to apologise. What does that even mean — does he like me or not? I thought to make things easier, I can just flat out ask him, and what is his response to that — yell and walk away. Isn't that just great?

I groan out loud to myself in frustration.

And then today, he skipped school and spent hours with me just lazing around, watching tv. I couldn't focus on anything except him, of course. By every right, I should be hating him, staying away from him, but I just can't. I don't think I ever can — I've liked him far too long for that.

I sigh and then fixed my gaze on a small Buddha statue on the shelf above the television on the living room — my mom has all kinds of Buddha statues in various sizes all over the house. She always bought one whenever she lays eyes on a statue that catches her attention; she claims it brings more serendipity into the house. I think it has made our house look more of a Buddha exposition place.

"Help me out here, please," I request the statue politely.

As if in response, I hear knocks on my door. I look at the statue suspiciously, waiting for a few seconds. There are knocks on the door again.

"Buddha, is that you?" I ask incredulously, standing up from my couch, "Wow, I didn't think you'd actually respond," I mutter to myself as I make my way to the door and open it.

"Oh," I don't even bother to hide the disappointment on my face, "I thought you were Buddha," it is only Valerie.

"Um, hi to you too," she scoffs, and then furrows her eyes in confusion, "And why would Buddha be on your doorstep?"

"Because I'm an ever-faithful Buddhist," I say plastering on a grin.

She snorts in reply, "Sure you are," she says, stepping into my house and just as I am about to close the door, I feel a hand stop me mid-action, and just like that: disappointment, who?

No, Buddha didn't magically appear on my doorstep — but he did send something even better my way.

"Danesh?" I only saw him minutes ago, but still it makes me happy seeing him again.