Diary of an Anxious Teen

Chapter Three: Entry Two

October 13, 2017

Today, what happened with Elijah truly caught up to me. He had witnessed an oncoming anxiety attack. Not only that, but he was the one that calmed me down. I had no idea what lied ahead.

Anyways, I woke up- as usual- and got ready. I dressed in a white pleated skirt with a black long-sleeved shirt that says 'Everyone's mad here' in pastel purple lettering. I decided to wear my all black converse's with calf high pastel purple socks. I put my hair in a loose bun, before checking myself in the mirror. I grabbed my backpack and went downstairs. I grabbed an apple for breakfast and went out the door at 6:45.

When I arrived at my locker, Raine was chatting away to Kenneth. They were laughing at something on her phone, their backs turned to me. I quietly snuck over to my locker, not wanting to interrupt them. When I'm done at my locker, I send a quick greeting their way before walking away. Before I could get too far, Raine calls my name.

"You know Elijah, right?" she asks when I turn towards her.

"Yeah...?" I say, sounding more like a question than an answer.

"He was asking me about you," she informs me, doing little to hide the surprise in her voice. "Did I miss something?"

I looked around the halls before walking over to her and Kenneth. My eyes are looking everywhere except at her. I may or may not have forgotten to fill her in on the situation with Elijah. Would she be mad? Would she stop being my friend? Would she-

"Dela Mizz Sinclair! Did something happen between you and Elijah that you didn't tell me?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips. I wasn't too worried at her being mad at me, now. When she addresses me as 'Dela', I know that she isn't being serious.

"Maybe?" I respond, finally looking at her. Just as she opens her mouth to respond, the first bell rings.

"This conversation isn't over. We'll talk at lunch."

With that, she walks away, her and Kenneth both sending a farewell my way. That was close. I begin walking to my class with my thoughts still focused on Elijah. I rushed to my seat in the middle of the class. My teachers almost always call on the people sitting in the back. They thought that people sat back there so they could doze off or talk. The only way to get out of it was to sit in the middle or the front, but sitting in the front would definitely trigger my anxiety. I'd feel like everyone was staring at me. The middle seats are much more bearable.

---

After my dreaded first classes, I'm already ready to go to sleep. I push through, despite my eyes threatening to close, and make my way towards the lunchroom. As I go to open the door, a hand appears in front of me, opening the door for me. Following the hand to their face, I see that it's Elijah. I flinch back, almost banging my head on the doorframe.

"I'm sorry!" he apologizes. "I didn't mean to scare you."

We walk through the doorway before I respond.

"It's okay. I wasn't paying attention," I explain, yawning mid-sentence.

"Come on," he beckons me to follow him as he turns and walks back out and down the hall. Hesitantly, I follow.

I follow him for about five minutes until we are at the entrance of the school. He opens the door for me and we both walk out to the picnic tables in the front of the school. Before I can question what we're doing out here, I feel intrusive thoughts circling my brain.

He saw you have an anxiety attack. He probably thinks that you're a freak. He might've brought you out here just to bully you. Why were you so stupid as to follow him? You're an idiot and deserve whatever he says to you. What if he does something? Why are you so stupid?

"Stupid me," I mutter to myself, scrunching my eyes closed.

"You're not stupid."

I jump back at the sound coming from right in front of me. I completely forgot that I was outside with Elijah. When I meet his eyes, he is looking at me with an expression of...concern?

He's probably worried you'll freak out again. He must think you're a burden.

I gaze back at the ground, cracking each of my fingers to distract my mind. The only noise is the loud cracking of my fingers.

"Delaney, are you okay?" he finally breaks the silence. I nod. "I just wanted to talk to you about yesterday."

He pauses as I stop cracking my fingers. Can he just get to the point? The longer that I stand unknowing is another moment that I'm subject to my mind's vicious ways. I cross my arms just as he begins talking again.

"I won't tell anyone," he clarifies, "but I want you to know that you can talk to me if you want. We could become friends."

I gape at him for a moment before settling on a nod. I've never had anyone, let alone a guy, willingly want to be my friend other than Raine. Is this a trick? Maybe he just feels bad for me. I shake the thoughts from my head. Just then, the bell rings.

"We better get to class," I mumble to him before turning on my heel and heading back towards the school's entrance. I make a revelation that I've just taken part in the most one-sided conversation ever. If I don't fill Raine in soon, I'm afraid she'll feed me to a pack of hungry wolves.

My stomach decides to intervene and growl loudly as I'm walking through the now crowded halls. I realize that I missed lunch due to that talk outside. Raine will seriously have my head now.

"Delaney!" I hear my name being called. Speak of the devil and she shall appear. She begins to talk again before I can get a word in. "Sleepover. Tomorrow night. I want to hear about everything."

Miraculously, she grins before jabbering on about her alone time with Kenneth. I'm so thankful that she changed the subject that I just listen and respond when needed. I don't even complain when she goes on a long tangent about how she hates when girls flirt with him. I simply listen to my best friend as we walk to our class.

Math. Yay.

---

I finally updated. Sorry for the long hiatus, but I'm back now. I will try to update as often as I can, but school is still a thing (unfortunately).

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I tried to take things slow with this story. On another note, I'm bringing back an old story that I had on my account a while ago. It will be coming back renovated, so be on the lookout for that. Comment, vote, share, if you like this story so far. If not, leave some feedback in the comments. Stay sweet!

-Rider Mason