The Reader's POV: Review Book {CLOSED}

Author: Sunmeee

Reviewer: _zaintassu_

Chapters reviewed: 8

First impressions:

Cover wise:

The cover is sweet. My guess is that you are trying to show the qualities of Avyanna. But as I read the book I couldn't help but imagine that the story may have a lot of conspiracies and a bit of violence ahead. So you can have a boxing ring for background or a two sided picture that shows their different environments. You agree that that the name doesn't do justice to the book (according to your personal bio)so maybe you can try something different.

Blurb wise:

The blurb is too long. You don't need to put a three paragraph long section of your book in the blurb. Suggestion: cancel the first three paragraphs. Now to the real blurb. It's good but not luring. It definitely does not give me an urge to read on. (small note: better not add too many brackets)

There is one more thing I would like to point out. The title of the chapters. A two line heading for every chapter is not a necessity. You can just have chapter numbers. And if you are into titles then maybe a word or two.

Writing style:

Your writing is good. The only problem here would be sentence formation. You seem to everything in too long and so it gets boring. Please work on that. The way Avyanna feels and acts is described perfectly.

Also, the flow of the plot is a bit rusty.

Plot wise:

I love the whole idea of how the lives of two completely different people intervene only because of the 10 seconds. It makes a reader wonder, which is good.

Character development:

At first, Avyanna seems to be a girl that was the best sister and a daughter who respects and fears her parents. Then the boy comes. She has a tiny little secret like the game.

Ian seems to be a person who doesn't even know himself. How does he find himself? We'll only get to know when we read further.

Great work on character development!

Grammar and typos:

You have a lot of punctuation mistakes. Better start editing. Your vocabulary is okay. That's it. Grammar: check. Please work on the sentence formation. It will make the story enjoyable.

Final impressions:

You have great ideas and the plot is amazing. You can make the story more effective if you work on the points mentioned above.

I hope my review helps you write better. Sorry, if the review is a bit harsh. It's an honest review. Best of luck with your writing.

------

Here was your review!
Hope you found it helpful!

Good day💗