WHEREVER /JJK

They met for lunch in a Chinese restaurant, in a small room Hei-Won had reserved for them. Jia was a bit nervous about this meeting and hoped they would have a good conversation without any misunderstandings. Hei-Won was already inside the room when Jia arrived. She clasped Jia's hand and greeted her warmly.

"Glad you could come, Jia. Seat, please. I hope you don't mind that I address you informally, please feel free to do the same with me."

"Ok."

"Ok, the food is here. Let's eat.  I hope the food I  ordered is ok. Didn't want to take too much of your time  so I ordered ahead." 

They had a good lunch, talking about her vlog and some experiences Hei Won had as a writer. After a while, Jia felt she had to break the ice to reveal whatever reason Hei-Won had to ask for this meeting.

"Hei-Won, I am enjoying this, I really wanted to get to know you more, but.......was there a specific reason for you to meet with me?"

Hei-Won reached out to cover Jia's hand with hers.

"Jia-shi, I want us to be friends.  I find you as someone I can be comfortable with and I don't have many female friends so—" She broke off awkwardly, smiling ruefully as she withdrew her hand.

"You know Hei-Won I actually told Jin I wanted to be friends with you too. I didn't have a lot of friends back in high school, I kept to myself most of the time. When I relocated, there weren't a lot of friends I could go back to." 

"Let me guess. You were popular and many girls probably envied you."

"No," Jia laughed embarrassed. "The truth is, I didn't have any lunch money going to school back then. Eomma just made me bring food she prepared and I walked to and from school. I always ate alone because girls bullied me whenever they saw my food. So...." She stopped after noticing Hei-Won's eyes.

"Wait, I didn't mean to upset you Hei-Won...."

"No... You didn't upset me Jia. I just.....That was a sad memory and I wanted to comfort you but I didn't know how."

"I'm ok. I'm not ashamed of my background, and talking about it doesn't make me sad. I consider myself lucky, my life is better now. I don't know why I spilled all that though, we just met."

"You can talk about anything with me Jia. As I said, let's be good friends. If you need to do girl things, call me. I could use the company too."

"Won't Jeon mind us being friends?"

"Why should he? But now that you mentioned him, would you mind so much if we talked about him?"

"Hei-Won, there's nothing to talk about. I'm no longer friends with him so you don't need to worry about me."

"No Jia, you've got it all wrong. I'm not the possessive type. Jeon needs you. He's denying it but I know he still thinks about you."

Jia squirmed. Was Hei-Won trying to bait her?

"Ah, I don't think I needed to know that. What is this? Are you testing me? Are you trying to bait me and see how I will react?"

"No. I'm not a petty person Jia. I'm just a girl who loves Jungkookie so much and I want him to be happy."

"But he's happy with you now."

"Maybe. But there's something I need to share with you Jia. And you must promise me that you won't tell Kookie anything that I share with you."

"I'm not comfortable keeping a secret from him-"

"I can't have children."

"What?"

"I can't have children. I have polycystic ovary syndrome."

Jia was stunned. Hei-Won, looking so elegant and composed, just shared with her something really private. How was she going to deal with this?

"But......you look fine. You don't have the usual symptoms for that. I thought women who had PCOS had skin and weight problems."

"I did. I just dieted like crazy and avoided food that would worsen my acne condition. I thought I just had a slow metabolism. When I was in high school, my periods were irregular. They still are. I never thought much of it until there was a whole year that I never got my periods. Eomma took me to a gynecologist and got me diagnosed." 

"Back then, the doctor said I just needed to undergo hormone therapy. I was doing fine until I noticed I was gaining weight and had a bad case of falling hair, it was scary so I got checked again. It turned out that my thyroid also had a problem."

"But you'll get better, right?"

"What does getting better mean? I can't have children."

"I'm sure that's not something Jeon will mind. He loves you." 

"I don't know. When I first found out about I had PCOS, it was the time Kookie was leaving for NY. That's why I broke up with him. I stopped communicating because I didn't want him to worry or see the changes in my appearance. My morale was so low, I missed him badly. Then I met someone, and we were fine for a while. Until I started developing acne and gained weight again. I got ghosted."

Jia gently rubbed Hei-won's arm to offer comfort. It must be difficult to open up like this, not knowing if she would be judged. Jia appreciated the trust and wanted to offer whatever help she needed.

"How can I help you Hei-Won?"

"Jia, my latest tests revealed that I need to have my ovaries removed."

Hei-Won was starting to tear up. She gripped Jia's hand as she spoke.

"I will be away for the surgery. I don't want Kookie to know. I need to do this quickly because the growth is spreading aggressively. I will also need to be checked if there is growth somewhere else in my body."

"But won't meds work? Did you get a second opinion?"

"I got a third and a fourth opinion. They all said the same thing, I needed to get my ovaries removed. You know what that means, right? I can't conceive anymore after they're gone."

What is this? Jia wanted to run out of this place, to pretend she never heard any of Hei-Won's words. She always had trouble with handling painful news like this. How is it that she feels pain for someone who took Jeon away from her? 

"Jia......I don't know how long I'll be gone. Although the surgery scheduled is laparoscopic, if what they see requires an open procedure, they will open me up. That will take me longer to recover."

"You keep talking about Jeon but what about you? How are you feeling? You have to think about yourself too."

"I'm ok. I've accepted my fate long before you came back. When Kookie's eomma asked me to join them for Chuseok, I came because I wanted to see him, I missed him. I never hoped we'd get back together. I only wanted to be with him because he obviously was missing you badly."

"Do you feel any pain?"

"Only here," She said with an unsteady voice, her hand over her heart.

Jia stood up and sat beside Hei-Won, pulling her thin body close and hugging her. They both cried, trying to comfort each other, forging a strong bond of friendship at that moment.

"Can I visit you?"

"No. Jia, you have to be strong. Please don't show any sign of knowing anything, Kookie is so intuitive, he can tell if you're hiding something. "

"I still don't know what you expect from me Hei-Won."

"Just be with him, Jia. Call him from time to time, occupy his time so that he won't think of calling me. I will update you on my situation."

"How can you trust me like this?"

"Kookie likes you. You were friends with him. He's a good judge of character. Use this time together to regain your friendship."

"Aren't you afraid—"

"That you'll win him back? Yes, I'd be lying if I said no. I know he loves both of us. But he needs to figure out who he really wants. I don't want to regret later that I prevented him from figuring things out and have to see him suffer in silence."