ANDY'S POV
I wake up with an incredible headache after just three hours of sleep.
Like all times, the first thing I do is go to my mom's room and give her a kiss on the forehead.
My mom is the kindest, sweetest, person I've ever met. I honestly don't know what to do without her. She’s my strength, the only reason I'm still alive.
My dad, on the other hand, is the baddest person I've ever met. He hates me, he always hated me. From the moment my mom got pregnant, he hated me. He began to hate me when I was still measuring a millimeter.
But by now I'm used to it. The important thing is that my mom never comes to find out about the terrible things he does to me and that she continues to believe what I tell her.
Her happiness always comes first.
I enter school, everyone's eyes on me, voices echoing, insults.
I can't stand the people who are inside this place, but I need studies. If I can learn something, between work and the rest, maybe I'll be able to get away. Maybe…
I meet his eyes ... God how beautiful they are.
I thought that it was impossible for me to fall in love, I thought that no one, besides my mother, could love someone like me. And I was partly right; no one can love someone like me, but I'm in love. I fell in love with the cool boy from school, the one who stays with a different girl every two weeks, the one who makes out with all the girls and just starts the tour again.
In short, I fell in love with the only person who will never be able to reciprocate. But in the end it's okay, because I think I'm not made to be with anyone.
The ringtone of my cell phone wakes me from my thoughts, I answer without even looking who it is.
"I need you in an hour. I'll pick you up in front of the school" I close my eyes trying to hold back the tears. I already know what awaits me, I already know the pain I will feel. I already know everything, but it still hurts terribly. "Don't make me wait, slut"
"Okay dad"
I enter the classroom, all happy and smiling, some are talking...
I sit in my seat, head low on the counter, tears wetting its surface.
"We sleep at night!" I look up to find Michael and Ryan laughing in front of me. They always laugh at me, but when he does hi,, it feels like a stab in the stomach. I never believed that love at first sight existed, but with him all my certainties went to hell.
***
I leave the classroom, heading towards the exit, when I hear someone push me against the wall. Michael, called Mikey.
"Where are you running to?" he holds me tight against the wall, a grin on his lips, all the strength against me, the air becomes less and less and I feel I can faint at any moment.
"Please let me go" my dad doesn’t tolerate even a minute of delay. He could do anything and everything to me. He tightens his grip on my neck, not hard enough to make me pass out. "I can't breathe" I try to say.
"Let him go" Rye says out of the blue.
I run out of school, my dad already pissed about being three minutes late. The usual slap, followed by a punch in the stomach and then straight into the car.
"He is 52 years old, white, pays me £50, do a good job" many times I've done for a lot less ... blowjobs for £ 15, fuck for just over double... I don't feel anything, nothing at all, only pain, my dad is not a person you can say no to.
I walk into a filthy motel room, all kinds of stains on the carpet, dusty curtains, nauseating smell.
A man, who looks at least 60, begins to touch my body, as if I were an object. He makes me feel dirty, wrong. One touch and I feel pain from all sides.
***
I leave the motel after more than expected, he did not want to let me go. In pain, I go to the first bus stop to go to school.
There isn't a point on my body that doesn't hurt me. He pulled my hair, he slapped me in the face, on the buttocks, on the hips, he went too deep, violently, with the thrusts and I can hardly breathe from the pain.
I arrive at school, I have time to follow the start of the Spanish lesson, before the lunch break.
But even when it's lunch break, I feel like I can't make it.
I have no money in my pocket, when I prostitute the money goes directly to my dad, I'm starving.
I sit at the first free table, open the book, trying to think of something else and in the meantime get on with my homework.
The notification ringer on my cell phone starts ringing repeatedly, which is very strange, since no one ever texts me but my mom.
I turn on the phone, finding a series of messages on instagram in front of me, from people I don't know, who all sent me the same photo: me with a big red X on it.
Each message is a different insult.
I let my head fall on my books, for the umpteenth time the tears get the better of me. I begin to cry tears of physical and emotional pain, tears that would tear anyone apart. Why does it all have to be so complicated? Why can't I have a life like any other?
Why?
"Fowler!" his voice, full of anger, full of hate.
I raise my head, tears have wet the whole book, I feel my eyes burn from the burning. "Please no" I add, hoping that at least this time he will have pity on me.
"Come on leave him alone" I look him straight in the eye, trying to figure out if he really thinks what he just said. His girlfriend, next to him, starts laughing, earning a dirty look from him.
"It's not what he deserves" he pushes me to the ground, kicks, kicks everywhere, I can't breathe, but I can't even say anything.
"Mikey enough!" is the last thing I hear. The pain is too overwhelming and I only see darkness.
***
I open my eyes. A white ceiling, voices in the background, two voices, one male and one female.
"Are you sure?" asks the male voice. I think I know who it belongs to, but it can't be who I think ...
"Unfortunately"
"And how did you understand it?"
"We did some exams, the profile corresponds perfectly to other cases we have had previously, I'm sorry"
"Oh God"
Despite my heavy head, I manage to get into a sitting position. I look around, I'm in the hospital. I feel less pain than the other days, almost nothing. What a strange feeling, I haven't felt it for a while.
"Andy!" I turn to the voice. His shining eyes, the worry on his face, I've never seen him like this. I've never seen anyone worried about me, always excluding my mom.
"What happened?"
“You don’t remember?"
"No" the last thing I remember is that I was going back to school after what I did.
"Andy I'm sorry, I'm terribly sorry"
"For what?" I ask confused.
"I know" I remain silent, without saying anything because I can not say anything. "Andy, say something"
"You don't know anything" I get out of bed, but I am immediately stopped by a nurse.
"The morphine will stop having its effect and the pain will return"
"I've never felt pain"
"Andy we can help you"
"If you want to help me then get me out of here"
"Andy, please"
“Listen to me, you have nothing to do with me and I with you. Can't you just go back to make fun of me and beat me like everyone else does?"
"Andy-"