CHAPTER SIXTY FOUR
invasion.
season six, episode five.
THROWING ON HER JACKET WITH A HEAVY SIGH, CASSIE GRABBED HER KEYS AND MADE HER WAY TOWARDS THE FRONT DOOR. Dark purple rings circled her eyes, physically marking the fact that she didn't get any sleep.
It was less than 48 hours after she broke up with Mark, and she hadn't seen him since.
A part of her regretted it, regretted breaking his heart to just to heal her own. She regretted the look on his face after he realized what she was doing, and she regretted acting out because of her grief. But another part, the rational part, didn't regret a thing. In the end, it was the right thing to do.
After all, how could Cassie let Mark love her when she didn't even love herself?
A tired hand ran over her face while she opened the door, stepping out and locking it shut. As she did so, another click from a lock sounded from behind her, making her turn around with a jump.
Mark stood there, keys in hand, a startled look on his face as he stared at her. Just as Cassie opened her mouth to say something, the keys slipped from his hand, causing him to mumble a string of profanities under his breath as he went to pick them up.
Cassie felt her heartbeat speed up. "I-I like your keychains." Frowning in confusion at her own statement, she internally cursed herself. I like your keychains? Really? Clearing her throat, she looked up at him with trepidation. "So, um... how are you?"
Mark just looked at her, emotionless as he stuffed his keys into his pocket. "I've been better."
Cassie watched as he abruptly turned his back on her and left down the narrow hallway without another word, feeling tears burning in her eyes which she blinked away as soon as they came.
"Okay then," she whispered to no one in particular, silently wondering what the hell she'd gotten herself into.
☆
Cassie stepped into the elevator, her head down as she sent a text to Meredith. After she donated a piece of her liver to her father, Meredith had been bored out of her mind living in the hospital as she recovered, thus bothering her friends for free entertainment.
Not looking where she was going, Cassie walked directly into the back of the elevator, hitting her head as she slammed into the wall.
Hearing a snort coming from behind her, she turned around with a glare, only to pause at the sight of a stranger clad in orange scrubs standing on the other side of the doors. Clearing his throat, the doctor tried and failed to restrain his grin.
"You know, they say texting and walking kills."
Rolling her eyes, Cassie stuffed her phone in the pocket of her leather jacket, pressing the floor number to Meredith's room as the stranger moved to stand next to her. She didn't say a word, her arms crossed over her chest as she watched the floor numbers change at a slow pace.
When the doors opened, Cassie stepped out, turning on her heel at the last second. "Your scrubs are on inside out," she told him with a smirk, enjoying the look on his face when he realized that his clothes were, in fact, on backwards.
With one last look into the stranger's bright green eyes, Cassie left, making her way down the hall towards the room where most of the residents were gathered.
"They're locusts," she heard Meredith say. "Comfortable locusts, feeding on our surgeries."
Cassie nodded, stealing a bag of chips from Rue's hand as she passed by. "The Mercy Westers? Yeah, they're mean," she added, plopping down next to Meredith's feet. "One of them made fun of me."
Rue frowned, snatching the snack away and raising a brow in question. "For what?"
"Not important."
Izzie scoffed, bitter after one of the new surgeons stole George's cubby. "It's rude. There should be at least a couple of days where they act like guests, before they put their feet up on the coffee table."
"And what's with the orange scrubs?" Lexie shook her head, staring through the windows at a few random doctors they'd never seen before. "What, ours aren't good enough for them?"
"We ran out," Meredith said nonchalantly. "They're on back order. Randall from the supply company says that they'll be here in a week." Everyone gave her a weird look. "That's what you learn when you lie here all day. "
"Why bother ordering new ones?" Ryan wondered aloud, sitting next to the window. "Let's just give these to our replacements."
Alex rolled his eyes, sharing a snack with Izzie as they got ready for the day ahead of them. "We're not gonna be replaced by anybody."
"If I have to become a coroner—" Ollie started, fear clear in his eyes as he shared a look with his boyfriend.
"No one is becoming a coroner," Meredith cut him off. "Cristina, tell him."
"Tell him what?" the girl in question shrugged defeatedly. "They're here. It's over."
"Hey!" Meredith snapped. "We are not some stupid hosts. They can't invade us. They can't attach themselves to our faces, and then while we're eating spaghetti, explode out of our chests and skitter across the floor. This is our ship. This is our ship."
Lexie laughed, tilting her head at her sister. "Excuse me. Are you... are you quoting a Sigourney Weaver movie?"
"She totally is," Cassie snorted, patting Meredith's leg in mock pity. "I think she's lost it."
"Shut up."
"That's what happens when you live here," Izzie added. "You watch a lot of TV."
"We own this hospital," Meredith continued with determination. "We were born in this hospital. And we will hold this hospital, with our last... gasping... breath."
It was silent for a moment, before Ollie shook his head with a sigh. "I really don't want to be a coroner. I don't like dead people."
Meredith rolled her eyes. "Go out there, and go get surgeries before they take them. Go!" Everyone slowly got up, making their way towards the door. "And I want a full report by the end of the day!" Sending Cassie a nasty look when she didn't move, Meredith kicked her in an effort to push her off the bed. "What's your problem?"
"Nothing," Cassie shrugged, avoiding her eye. "I don't have a problem."
"Yeah, okay," Cristina snorted, also not bothering to leave. Cassie frowned, reaching out to smack her upside the head.
"What's wrong with you?" Meredith asked Cristina pointedly, wondering why no one could get their crap together.
Cristina sighed. "I-I don't know what I'm fighting for."
"Surgeries, Cristina. Surgeries. There will be a cardio god here again one day. And when there is, you don't want to be out of practice. And Cass, you broke up with a man who would die for you, and you haven't been inside an OR in months. You do have a problem." Cassie pouted at that. "Now go, both of you!"
Begrudgingly, Cristina and Cassie got to their feet, the latter sticking up her middle finger in the air at her person as she left.
☆
"You're late."
Cassie sighed, uncomfortably fixing her lab coat as she shifted on her feet. "Sorry."
"You're a resident," Mark snapped, not bothering to look at her. "Sorry doesn't cut it."
Not sure what to say, she decided on a quiet, "Okay." Mark's face fell at the sound of her voice, causing him to clear his throat before putting back on an indifferent expression as he finally turned around.
"My surgeries got cancelled because of the merger," he told her, handing her a few patient charts and beginning to walk down the hallway, Cassie following behind as she read over his cases. "So you're job is to monitor them and make sure they don't die. Think you can manage, Dr. Harper?"
Cassie froze in place, and it took Mark a moment to realize how his words sounded after what happened with Lily.
Taking a deep breath and plastering a fake, halfhearted smile on her face, Cassie avoided his eye. If this was how it was going to be, then she figured that she may as well get used to it.
"I can manage, Dr. Sloan."
Mark just stood there for several seconds, his face unreadable even under the bright overhead lights of the hospital. "Nevermind. Just... just go."
"What?"
"I'll get an intern to handle this. I'm sure they could do just as good of a job," he said nonchalantly, ignoring the look of hurt on her face as he snatched the charts from her grasp. "You're off my service."
For the second time that day, Mark left without giving her a chance to respond. Stopping once he rounded the corner, he paused, running a tired hand through his hair.
He couldn't even look at her.
☆
"He called me Dr. Harper," Cassie ranted, walking down the hall alongside Lexie, who was on Derek's service for the day. "Like, seriously? Not once in my freaking life has he called me that. I mean, he's treating me like I'm a... a... you know..."
"Resident?" Lexie supplied, a humorous smile on her face as she listened to her complain.
Cassie pointed to her with a snap, completely missing the sarcasm in her voice. "Exactly!"
The duo turned the corner as they made their way towards the ER, synonymous in their steps as their ponytails swayed in sync. A few people raised a brow at the sight, their physical similarities striking when side by side.
"Well, you did break his heart, like, two days ago," Lexie noted, earning a glare from Cassie. Holding her hands up in defense, she gave her a knowing look. "I'm just saying, maybe he has a right to be a little angry."
With a sigh, Cassie stopped walking, moving to lean against the wall as her arms crossed over her chest. "Yeah, I— I know you're right, but it's just," she shook her head. "It's just weird, being Dr. Harper instead of Cass. Especially to him."
Lexie pursed her lips in thought, before a hesitant smile came over her features. "If it makes you feel any better, I can call you Cass."
Cracking a smile, Cassie pushed off from the wall with a shrug. "Not quite the same, but I'll take it."
They were interrupted as a perky redhead bounded up to Lexie, either not noticing Cassie or choosing to ignore her. "Hey," she smiled, slightly out of breath. "Thanks again for agreeing to be my tour guide through all this first-day madness."
"Well," Lexie said wryly, turning on her heel and continuing down the hallway with the redhead trying to keep up. Cassie smirked at her attitude, following a few footsteps behind. "We both got assigned zone five, so..."
"I know, it's not like you had any choice. Still, you're a peach to pretend otherwise. Being the new kid is—"
"A little scary, I know."
"Of course, you were here when that psycho-intern-cabal was marching around, chopping out each other's organs. Now that must have been scary."
Cassie grinned wickedly at Lexie's immediate death glare, jogging to catch up to them as they entered the ER. "Hi," she tilted her head as she popped up next to the redhead, making her jump. "I don't think we've had the pleasure of meeting."
"Oh, uh," the doctor gave her a hesitant smile, startled from her sudden appearance. "Hi, I'm April Kepner."
Cassie smiled widely and reached out to shake her hand, enjoying the eye roll she got from Lexie for being even a little bit nice, even if it was out of pure amusement. "Cassie Harper."
April nodded slowly, looking at her for a moment. "Oh, were you assigned zone five too?"
"Nope," she said nonchalantly, idly glancing around the ER. "I was kicked off my service, so I figured I could lend a hand around here since it's so busy."
"Kicked off your service today, of all days?" April hummed, whipping out a tiny red notebook and scribbling down a few notes that Cassie couldn't read. "Wow, I would not want to be you."
Lexie narrowed her eyes, her smile anything but playful as she spoke. "Well, I would, since Dr. Harper is by far the best resident in her year." She looked April up and down with a smirk. "Including you, from what I can tell."
April looked between them, her cheeks flushed red. "I-I'm gonna go talk to the patient."
As she hurried away, Cassie punched Lexie in the arm, resulting in an offended pout. "Hey!"
"That was mean, Lexie," she scolded, despite the grin that was taking over her features.
"Oh, shut up, Cass," she laughed knowingly. "Don't act like you didn't want to say it too."
☆
The ER had quieted down over the past few hours, with patients coming and going, either to surgery or after being discharged. Cassie spent the morning alone, doing sutures and taking random patients for x-rays.
It was the work of an intern, or maybe even a nurse with nothing better to do, but it was the only kind of work Cassie could do without her mind forcing her to see Lily's dead body lying on an OR table.
Sometimes, her photographic memory was more of a curse than a blessing.
"I fixed them," a semi-familiar voice said from behind her as she tossed a bag of used supplies in the hazard bin. Turning around, she saw the green eyed doctor from earlier that morning, a bag of nacho cheese Doritos in his hand. At her imploring look, he elaborated. "My scrubs, I mean."
Nodding slowly, she shut the lid to the garbage, giving him a tight lipped smile. "Congrats, you know how to dress yourself."
The doctor ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek with a chuckle, resting against the wall as he looked at her. "You can't seriously blame me for laughing this morning," he reasoned. "Like it or not, your clumsiness is very amusing."
"I'm not clumsy," Cassie instantly denied, finally getting a good look at his face. He was noticeably pretty, and it was obvious that he knew it. "You're clumsy."
"Nice comeback, kid."
"I'm not a kid, pretty boy," she scoffed, her arms crossing over her chest in defense.
He shrugged nonchalantly, popping a chip into his mouth and chewing at an annoying loud volume. "Tell that to your comebacks."
"Okay, no offense, but I barely even know you and I already want to punch you in the face."
"Jackson Avery," the doctor introduced himself with a cheeky grin. "Now you know me. Want a Dorito?"
Cassie narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion, looking down to his hand that was holding out the bag of her favorite snack. "Wait, why are you eating in the ER? We have a cafeteria, you know."
Jackson glanced around at the empty patient beds, moving to sit on top of one. Cassie followed, unamused. "If I eat here, then I'll be the first one to get to the emergent patients, therefore, I'll be the one to get the surgeries."
Noticing how she was eyeing the bag of chips in his hand, he rolled his eyes, tossing them at her chest. Cassie barely caught them before they fell to the ground, sending him a questioning look. "I don't want these."
"Yes, you do," Jackson told her as if it were obvious. "I know that look, they're my favorite too. Way better than—"
"Cool ranch," they said in unison, making Cassie laugh slightly as she gave up the fight and started eating. It only just occurred to her that she hadn't eaten dinner, or breakfast.
"So," he started with a friendly smile. "You never told me your name."
"Cassie," she introduced herself, still annoyed by his ego but admittedly less so after he gave her food. "Cassie Harper. Nice to meet you... sort of."
Something shifted in Jackson's demeanor after she spoke, going unnoticed by Cassie, who'd turned around to grab a tissue for her hands.
"Sorry, d-did you say—"
"Harper!"
Owen's voice cut through the quiet mumbles of the ER, drawing everyone's attention to his and Cristina's patient that was hunched over in pain. Cassie saw him waving her over, but didn't move a muscle. Watching him frown in confusion and wave Jackson over instead, who ran as fast as possible and immediately began to help him, Cassie blinked harshly, before finally making her way over.
"I—" she started, meeting Owen's curious and slightly concerned gaze. "Sorry. What's going on?"
"What's going on?" Cristina echoed, running through the ER doors. Cassie figured she must have a sixth sense for dying people or something.
"Pulsatile mass over the stab wound," Owen informed them, applying pressure as he looked up at Jackson. "What are we looking at, Avery?"
"Can't be sure without an angio, but I think it's a pseudoaneurysm," Jackson answered, taking over pressure as Owen nodded in agreement.
"I think you're right. Harper, what's the protocol on treating pseudoaneurysms?"
"Arterial embolisation, or if the aneurysm is more severe, an endovascular stent graft insertion during surgery," Cassie answered off the top of her head, remembering reading about a similar case back when she was in med school.
Owen gave her a look of approval, completely ignoring Cristina's glare burning into the back of his head. "Good. Avery, keep pressure on it and let's get him up to angio. If it's positive, you're both scrubbing in."
"Thank you, sir," Jackson smirked, looking right at an offended Cristina as he did so.
Cassie, on the other hand, had a bit of a different reaction.
"I can't," she blurted, looking from the patient, to Jackson, to Cristina, and finally to Owen.
Owen sighed, looking from the elevators back to their time sensitive patient. "Look," he started, lowering his voice slightly. "I know it's been a while since... but if you want, you can just observe—"
"No, I-I can't," Cassie shook her head rapidly, backing away towards the doors. "I'm sorry, I-I can't."
"Okay," Owen instantly nodded, knowing the signs of PTSD when he saw them. "Okay, Cassie, you don't have to. It's fine."
Frowning, Jackson watched as Cassie rushed away before he looked back to Owen, feeling like there was something pretty big he was missing.
"Well, I'm free," Cristina offered after a beat of silence, making Owen roll his eyes as he and Jackson took their patient upstairs without her.
☆
"You should fire me."
Webber glanced up from his paperwork, quickly putting something that looked like a glass beneath his desk and out of view. Once the words registered with him, he removed his glasses, bewilderment written all over his face.
"I'm sorry?"
"You're firing people," Cassie stated, her hands shaking as her feet shifted in place. "I think you should fire me." Taking a deep breath, she bit the inside of her cheek. "I never should have come back, Dr. Webber."
He just looked at her for a long while, the dilation of her pupils and the twitching movements of her limbs proving to him that she was speaking out of anxiousness and fear rather than what she really wanted.
"I'm not firing you."
Cassie gave him an incredulous look, her eyes glassy and her vision blurred. "I can't do my job, Chief. I-I can barely do the job of an intern. I shouldn't be here."
"You are an incredibly talented surgeon—"
"What good does my talent do if I can't use it?"
Webber and Cassie stared at each other, neither breaking eye contact. The only sound in the quiet office was the ticking of the clock sitting at the edge of his desk, ringing in Cassie's ears as the blood pumped through her veins.
"Go home," Webber said, leaving forward in his chair and placing his elbows on the desk. "Go home, and get some rest. I'll file the paperwork for your leave of absence tonight, and when you're ready to come back, your job will be waiting for you." Cassie didn't say a word. "You are by far the most talented and useful resident on my staff. I'm not firing you."
Exhaling sharply, she looked down at her feet. "It would make your life a lot easier if you did."
"Yes, it would," he agreed wholeheartedly. "But I care about my hospital, and I care about my residents. I care about you, Harper, and so does just about everyone else in this hospital." Gesturing through the windows, he let out a sigh. "Out there, I have to be the bad guy. But right now, with you standing in front me, I don't. Go home."
Cassie stood still for a moment, clearing her throat before sending him a curt nod and exiting the room.
☆
Mark sat alone on the couch in his empty apartment, casually reading through an article in a surgical magazine. A bottle of scotch sat half empty on the coffee table, the glass next to it filled to the brim with the amber liquid.
There was a quiet knock at the door, though it was loud in the silent room. Checking his watch, he frowned, wondering who was at his apartment well after two in the morning. Then, he questioned himself, wondering why the hell he was still awake.
Setting down the magazine, he got to his feet, not bothering to look through the peephole.
Cassie stood in front of him, drenched from head to toe with mascara running down her cheeks and mingling with her tears. She was breathing heavily, as if she'd just finished running; probably from the rain, Mark thought silently, hearing the water droplets pounding against his windows. Wordlessly, he stepped to the side, letting her in but leaving the door open behind her.
Tripping over her own feet, Cassie wobbled for a moment before balancing herself with one hand against the edge of the couch. Mark narrowed his eyes at her.
"Are you drunk?"
"Nooo," Cassie drawled, sniffling as she wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve and gestured wildly into the air. "I just like to walk like this sometimes."
Mark didn't find any humor in her sarcasm, standing straight up with his back tensed. "Go home."
Cassie hiccuped, a mixture of a laugh and a sob making it's way through her lips. A wry smile on her face, her eye twitched from the makeup that had gotten into it. Still, she barely felt the sting. "Funnily enough, you are not the first person to tell me that today."
"I mean it," he lied, his heart breaking a little bit with every word he spoke. "I don't want you here." Cassie didn't move. "What, you need me to walk you the whole five steps to your door? Because I will."
The smile long gone from her face, Cassie blinked slowly, not able to see his face clearly due to the amount of tequila she'd consumed over the previous few hours. Giving up on getting her to leave, Mark let out a mixture of a sigh and a groan, slamming the door shut and turning the lock.
"Take your shoes off," he weakly demanded, scrunching his nose in disgust at the sight of the mud path Cassie created when she walked in. "And sit down. God knows how clumsy you are."
Doing as told, Cassie slipped off her combat boots — as well as her sweater, much to Mark's chagrin — leaving her in just her jeans and an old band tee she stole from his closet ages ago. He didn't recognize it at first, but once he did, he immediately averted his gaze.
Cassie sat with her legs crossed on the center couch cushion. Mark stood a few feet in front of her, the coffee table between them, resisting every urge in his body to wrap his arms around her and never let go.
"You called me Dr. Harper," she whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. Staring down at her fingers as she wrung them together, a few stray tears made their way down her cheeks.
"That's your name, isn't it?"
Cassie clenched her eyes shut, feeling like she just got slapped in the face. Nodding rapidly in assent, she ducked her head. "Do you—" she started, feeling and looking smaller than she ever had before. "Do you hate me now?"
His indifferent facade breaking for a moment, Mark's brows furrowed at her state. Hesitantly, after thinking about it for a second longer than necessary, he moved to sit right in front of her on the edge of the table, less than a foot of air taking up space between them.
"I could never hate you," he repeated her words from that night, the statement ringing true for both of them.
"Because I—" Cassie's breath hitched, still staring down at her hands. "I don't think I can handle you hating me, Mark. I-I can't handle it."
"I don't hate you," Mark repeated, despite his words falling on deaf ears.
"I can't handle it, b-because you were my best friend," Cassie said softly, her drunken state making her sentences string together. "You were my best friend, a-and then George was my best friend, but he died, and now I-I don't have a b-best friend anymore."
"Cassie, just—"
"I-I'm really not okay, and I need you," she hiccuped, finally looking up at him through her tear-stained lashes. "I know I don't deserve anything from you after what I did, and I know I hurt you—" Cassie cut herself off, taking in a shaky breath. "I'm hurting you, but I-I really need my best friend back."
Mark watched as she cried in front of him, hopelessly clinging onto the last ounce of self control he had left. But after one look into her tearful eyes, his resolve broke, prompting him to pull her into his chest. Cassie let out a sob at the action, the two days without him feeling like a million years. She curled into his arms with half lidded eyes, drowsy from both the alcohol in her system and the crying.
"I'm right here, angel," Mark whispered into the shell of her ear, no longer knowing where they stood but too worried about her to care. "I'm not going anywhere, Cass. I'm right here."
author's note —
okay i know these last few
chapters have been angsty
as fuck, but i promise that
happy cassie will be back
soon since there's a bit of
a time jump in the next
chapter!
oh, and also, just to get it
out of the way, baby sloan
won't exist in this universe
because she's blonde and
annoying and i don't like her
<3