⚠️self harm, blood⚠️
I hear my alarm go off, it is 7 in the morning. I get up, walk to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I locked the door and pushed my back against it. Everything hurt, it hurt to breathe. I walk to the mirror and looked at myself, I looked normal... how i normally looked... I took my shirt off and looked at the bruises along my body, it trailed from my neck down, even from under my bra. It hurt so much i just wanted to end all of this... I turned around and glanced at the mirror to look at my back, it was worse... My back was more black and blue than anything, it wasn't from Eda, King, Hooty, Owlbert, Willow, Gus or even Amity.... It was from the fights I got in with Boscha and her group of 'friends'. But most of the bruises she did had disappeared already but the ones I had now...
They were from me....
It wasn't healthy to do but it felt right... My mom wasn't hear and I felt like it needed to happen when Eda wouldn't punish me the way that Mom would... I needed to... It had to be done... Last night Eda turned into the Owl beast after we got back from The Titan's Knee. When I used the light glyph to try to turn her back it didn't work... King had to throw several bottles of Elixir in Eda's mouth just to calm her down and turn back to the witch we know. But with that, I did nothing to help...
I look at my arm which had bandages covering it, Eda had clawed my arm really bad and my arm was bleeding. Thankfully it was my left hand, my right hand was Dominant so it all played out fine. I raised my right hand and punched my stomach, I grunt in pain as I coughed. I had to do this... I deserved this.... I punched myself again in the gut as it hurt more, I punched myself 3 more times. The harder the punch the worse it felt, once I finished I grabbed myself by my throat and began choking myself. I kept choking myself till I heard a knock on the door. I swallowed deep breathes as I gathered myself together, threw my shirt on and opened the door to see who knocked.
It was Gus...
"wait... why are you in my house??" I asked, clearly confused why the shorter boy was in the house. Did Eda let him in? I doubt that, it was probably Hooty. I rubbed my neck as it hurt like hell, no one was supposed to be seeing me today...
"Oh well... I wanted to make it up to you and unban you from the school, which I successfully did! No need to thank me! But I just wanted to ask if you wanted to come to the school and help prove some kid that he is wrong." Gus admitted at the end and I couldn't help but give a little chuckle.
"Sure, I mean I'll be able to see Amity while I'm there so it works out." I say before closing the door behind me and walking to the front door to slip my shoes on. I had fallen asleep in my regular clothes anyway so I was basically all dressed. I walked out the door with Gus, Eda wasn't home at the moment. That made me worry but I had bigger issues to worry about at the moment. We walk to Hexside, the last time I was there was like a month ago. It felt forever since i was there, Gus gave me a uniform hoodie and I put it on and he walked me in which felt like he was sneaking me in.
Odd....
We walk past several classrooms as I kept my hood up, because I wanted to. I see the Abomination Teacher being carried down the hall by an Abomination. "I'm gonna go apologize to him, I didn't get to and I feel horrible for helping Willow cheat" As soon as I say that Gus grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the Teacher.
"Y-You can do that later..." Gus said as he sounded a bit stressed. I sigh and nod, I didn't want to cause a fight right after I got unbanned. I follow Gus to a room, it had a couple other people. "So Matt! I promised that I would bring her so here she is! Luz, my good good friend"
"We aren't good friends but ok..."
"Eh... well can you inspect all of these items and say what they really are?" Gus said as I nodded and walked to the items that were sitting on the table. I take a little glance at the names and what they actually were, I couldn't help but burst out in laughter.
"O-Oh my fucking God! Are... Are you serious?!" I say is I hold back my laughter as best as I could, I pointed to the items and looked at Gus as I was about to die laughing. Gus just shrugged and waved his hand in a motion to tell me to continue. "This 'Human Skull' is a fucking rock first of all!"
"Alright Alright!!! I lied!!! Everything that I brought was a fake!!!" The witch named Matt confessed, I sighed and walked to the witch before grabbing him by the shirt. He was small, like most witches in this school.
"Listen... You may be 'sorry' about all of this, but Gus has spent more time than your pathetic brain can handle. He's lucky I decided to come, if I didn't... you could have lead these several people down the wrong path. And I know how it feels to be lead down the wrong path... IT FUCKING SUCKS!" I shout the last part as him as he flinched at the sudden aggression aimed to him. I pulled him to my height and glared at him before throwing something down, I can't help my anger but this just pissed me off. I looked down at him before someone walked it, I look over to see that it was the principal.
He grabbed me by the arm as I jump a little out of fear, he had also grabbed Matt's arm and told Gus to follow. I glared at Gus as I knew something was up. I could see Eda in the principal's office, I gasp as I tried to pull away from the principal's grasp but failed. I was then thrown into a room along with Gus and Matt, the door was locked behind us and I quickly turned around and tried to open the door. I gasped for air as I started to freak out.
Something is in here with us...
I looked at Gus and helped him up as he had been pulled down by Matt, I glared down at Gus as I was mad. I grabbed his shoulders and held him tight before yelling. "WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!? WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?!?!?!" I scream in anger, before the witch could say anything we heard slushing around. I turn to where the noise was coming from and a giant worm was moving around, wait.... that wasn't a worm... it had a deformed face on it and it looked like it was spitting out Matt. He was covered in a blue bubble, I hold my stomach as I felt it start to knot up at the sight. I took a step back before seeing the bug thing draw its attention to Gus and I. Oh shit... the giant bug monster lunged to us, Gus dodged out of the way as I jump up. I did dodge it but I landed on it, I held on as the bug monster started squirming and trying to throw me off of it. I held on for my life did depend on it, I then realized that I had my pocket knife in my pocket. I took it out and used my teeth to take out the blade, I then scoot up the bug's body as it was throwing itself around harder now. I clamped my legs shut as I raised my arms up while holding the knife and stabbed the creature right in the face and then sliced its face open, killing it instantly. I had dark blue goo that looked like blood, I then felt even more sick to my stomach before throwing up right there. Gus had used a paperclip to cut out Matt who was carried by Gus since he was passed out.
I hold my breath before bashing my body against the door and broke it down, I landed on the floor and slowly got up before feeling a sharp pain in my hand. I look down at my hand to see that my pocket knife had sliced right through my hand. I stare at it for a little bit before looking away and holding my hand as far as I could from my body. I gasped for air as I was freaking out and shaking violently, I hate blood and injuries...especially when you could see it go right through you... I look at the ground and looked up to hear a strong static sound as I saw Eda panicking and trying to get my attention. I smile weakly, "E-Eda..." I said in a small voice before seeing her go blurry and me falling forward into Eda's arms and passing out.
I'm so pathetic....
I wake up to see that I was on a the couch that was in the owl house. Something is touching my hand, the one that was stabbed. It's another hand, smaller than mine, soft and gentle. I turn my head to look at the hand that was intertwined with mine, it had black nail polish on it and a pale skin tone. I look up their arm to see who it is, it's Amity who was staring at our hands and deep in thought. She was pretty, I thought to my self as I was staring at her while blush slowly crept upon my face. Her bright Golden eyes were perfect to look into, just like the sun but it just didn't hurt your eyes looking at it. I then noticed that her eyes became wide and she was staring me in the eyes as well. Blush shot onto her face as she pulled her hand away from my and put it at her side.
"O-oh Luz! You're awake! Well obviously you were going to wake up, it wasn't like you were a rotting corpse!" Amity blurted out as she fanned her hand at her face as she was trying to stay cool, but she was fun to watch when she was flustered.
"Hey it's alright..." I softly say as I sat up and looked at my hand which had a scar on it now from my knife stabbing me in the hand. Just remembering it made me sick to my stomach, I looked around and saw that Eda was in the kitchen making food. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes before laying back and tilting my head up to rest it, I then felt a sudden shift in weight as someone sat beside me.. It was Amity of course... I didn't have to look to see that, if it was King he would be on my lap by now. "Shouldn't you ya know... be at school? Or home?.." I spoke softly as I opened my eyes and glanced down at the witch beside me.
"O-oh well the owl la- I mean Eda talked to my mother and they agreed that I could spend the night here!.. is that alright?.." Amity asked before a smile slowly formed on my face before nodding and getting up. I walked to the hall and walked to my room where I was gonna at least put on my pj's before seeing a sleepingbag beside mine along with a backpack. I smiled a bit more before reaching into my own backpack and grabbing my pj's, I quickly changed my shorts into baggy bottoms and I took my shirt off and grabbed my tangtop only to hear a small gasp.
"Who did this to you?!" Amity said as she walked up to me, a bit flustered to see me with no top on but she gently grazed her finger over the bruised parts of my body. Almost as soon as she did I violently flinched and grunted in pain, I quickly put on my tangtop and sighed before feeling Amity's fingers touch my neck and feel from where I choked myself this morning. "I-I'm going to go tell Eda"
"N-No wait!-" I quickly grabbed her wrist and held it, I couldn't let Eda know.... "I...I did this to myself..."
"But why?.."
"Because it had to be done! Eda wasn't going to do it and my mom wasn't here so I had to do it myself!!" I say in frustration while looking at the ground, I let go of her wrist and put my hands to my side as I clenched my fists. "It had to... I have failed so many times here and no one has said that it was wrong and that I shouldn't have done that, they didn't even get mad! It doesn't feel right at all!!!" I choke up a little and sat on my sleeping bag and faced away from Amity.
Everything was quiet... nothing was said as I just sat there... I felt someone then hug me from behind and put their head near my neck, I could feel her hot breath hit me as it sent shivers down my spine.
"I won't tell anyone... I promise..." The soft voice from the witch spoke, I sighed and smiled a little before leaning into her touch which turned into me laying my head on her lap and her playing with my hair till I fell asleep.