OK so the first order of business Jamie and I need to share with you is the brilliant fact that this book has officially reached ONE THOUSAND FUCKING READS?!
It only took 37 chapters and the best part of two years, but we eventually got there.
I'm honestly kinda amazed... like, I looked and it was like '1K' and I was like 'huh?' and it was like 'yeah 1K' and I was like 'HUH?' and it was like... and I was like... I'm so fucking chuffed with that guys like you have no idea how much this means to me :)
She'll never shut up about it from now on.
There's also the news that we are approximately... maybe like two SUPER LONG chapters away from finishing the Homecoming plot. When I say SUPER LONG I do mean SUPER LONG, and this is like the tiny fluffy build up to it... hence why half this part is Author+and+Jamie Note.
Doesn't have a great ring to it really.
Are you mad at me or something? You normally talk more than this.
I thought I'd be crashing Flash's car this chapter :( And still NOTHING. I am waiting, the readers are waiting, even YOU are waiting, and you STILL haven't.
It is a hundred thousand and ten percent in the next chapter, I promise. But there's gotta be something else.
I was reading your notes again.
Oh.
Yeah. You're mean. And not even to me this time.
That's not for another seven years into your future yet, don't get too upset by it. You knew it would happen. Loki is an angst magnet, always has been, always will be.
Yeah, so maybe you should give him a fucking break.
Mmmm... what if, instead of giving him a break, I draw him some pictures, give him a little vacation and uh... OOH I KNOW, you two can go shopping together :D
THAT WON'T MAKE IT BETTER!
Of course it will. Anyway, we'll talk again at the end of the chapter.
This isn't over.
---
"So, run me through it again then, why did Peter lose the Internship?" MJ asked, draping yet another dress over my outstretched arms that I couldn't see her wearing in a million years. I don't know how she managed to drag me out with her, to be honest. All I'm doing is being her coat hanger and gossip source while she looks at Homecoming dresses.
"I told you," I shrugged, or at least the best I could with like six dresses on either arm. "He said he screwed something up. Unfortunately it's very easy to screw up, amazed I haven't yet. Poor guy's probably super down in the dumps about the whole thing. That Internship was his life."
"Yeah," she sighed. "Feel kinda bad for him. These last few weeks he's barely spoken at all or anything. He's like a depressed puppy."
"It's unbelievable, the amount of times we've likened Peter to a puppy," I mused. "But anyway, you've never been so interested in Peter before."
"I've finally accepted I can't get rid of him so I might as well learn to like him a bit better. Besides, a friendship with Peter clearly comes with great gossip," MJ said, mentally weighing up the pros and cons of a flowery print dress she was holding out in front of her. "D'you think I'd suit flowers?"
"I don't know," I said flatly. I bought clothes for the comfort, I didn't give a shit what they looked like. I was not the right person to ask fashion advice from.
She studied the dress for a little longer, before also adding it to the pile on my arms. This was a better arm workout than what I got in the Avengers Tower. Or maybe I was feeling the effects of having training cancelled for so long. "Well, better try it on anyway." To my annoyance, she continued perusing the racks. I was starting to think she was doing this to annoy me now. We are literally in Target. There aren't that many fucking dresses to choose from. "It's such a strange coincidence that thing with the Staten Island Ferry happened on the same day as he lost his Internship, huh?"
I sighed. Back to this again. "Look MJ, yeah, it's weird. I'm not denying these coincidences are starting to get suspicious. But he's so awkward. Could you imagine Peter doing all this stuff Spider-Man does? His heart's in the right place and everything but y'know," I shrugged as best as I could with my arms laden in dresses, "I just don't see it."
She frowned at my words, and I think I actually struck something there. "Hm. That is a good point. Maybe he's Spider-Man's hidden accomplice."
"The guy in the chair. Entirely a possibility," I said. "Anyway, if you're gonna try these on, can you please just do it? We've been here, like, three hours."
Yep, I earned the signature twelve-out-of-ten single eyebrow raise. My bad. "Twenty minutes. But I guess you're right. Besides, we still gotta find a dress for you."
While MJ spent, like, half an hour in the changing rooms, I started to regret my decision to tag along to Homecoming for the first time. It wasn't like I had anything against parties, and it would be nice to prank at every opportunity. It wasn't like I'd be the only person without a date – plenty were just going with friends.
Well, aside from lover boy Peter, who managed to get himself a date with Liz, inexplicably.
Something, I knew for a fact, MJ was bitter about. I didn't know how I knew, but I knew. But it was the only good thing to happen to Peter in a couple of weeks so I made sure she didn't mope about it. Not that MJ was really the moping type.
But I found myself not looking forward to it at all. Five hours of mingling with people I don't talk to and hearing music I don't listen to and whatever outfit I'm able to scrump together likely being upstaged by everyone else's fairytale princess gowns. My Dad gave me his forty dollars of savings to spend on a dress for me to wear, but I was very, very hesitant about that offer.
For me, forty dollars was a crazy amount of money for anything. For one piece of clothing that I'd likely only wear once, it was an obscene idea.
Then there's the fact I don't even like dresses. I haven't worn one since I was a little kid. And I can't really wear my trusty sneakers either, so that's more money on a pair of shoes, and I hate shoe shopping. My feet are a weird size or something, I don't know, but I can never find anything which fits.
I'd rather spend that forty dollars on something I'd wear constantly until it died on me. But I still needed something for Homecoming – it was tomorrow night after all, I needed to sort something out, or I'll have to take the yellow hoodie. Bit of a dilemma.
"What do you think?" MJ's voice said all of a sudden, and I looked up to see my best friend absolutely rocking a light tan-coloured skater style dress. It suits her much better than I imagine a floral dress would. Much more badass.
I put a thumb up to her. "Sick. Probably the best you'll get out of Target."
She pursed her lips in thought and looked down at herself. "I was a bit worried the colour and me would blend in a little."
"Nah, you look brill," I said. "Peter will be very impressed. Perhaps he'll ditch Liz for you."
She rolled her eyes and made to go back into the dressing room. "Shut up. And if you're going to get a dress, start looking."
I never did get one. We even went over to Walmart to check their fashion range, but I just did not want a dress, so we ended up parting ways and returning home in defeat – my excuse being my Dad wanted me back, my real reason being that Loki and I were going on an informal kinda patrol before he got shipped off to the new Avengers campus tomorrow.
Another reason I was kinda regretting going to Homecoming – I was gonna miss moving day.
I expected Stark would've been able to get them moved out in, like, a week with all his connections and money and all, but it was now mid-May and I'm pretty sure he proposed the idea in March or something. Then again, it wasn't like I'd ever moved, so I didn't have a clue how that shit worked.
Loki met me halfway to the Tower and we wasted no time in turning the Sunday afternoon into a productive day of stopping stupid petty crime and stuff. I even helped this little old lady, walking with her for about half a mile carrying her groceries to her apartment for her. The funniest part was that she had no idea who I was, she just chuckled to herself and mentioned how she loved "the get-ups on young people these days". When we reached her apartment, an old man stuck his head out the window – I recognised him as the man who said 'Excelsior' to MJ and I on the day of the Decathlon – and called my a "supercool cyberpunk chick like from a comic book" and mentioned how he had written a fair few himself before the old lady told him to shut up.
This is why I loved patrol. You never knew what you would do on a day-to-day basis.
After a couple of hours Loki and I stopped to catch up on a nearby rooftop – I had now perfected the use of my teleportation gun so this was even easier than it used to be.
"Aw man, I feel like there's so much teenage drama shit I need to catch you up on," I said, flopping down onto the floor-roof thing. "Unless you wanna go first with your stuck-inside-the-Avengers-Tower drama shit?"
"You can go first," he said, leaning back on the wall behind him (behind which was the staircase to the main building). "I can tell you're dying to spill."
"You may need to brace yourself," I warned, grinning. "And he may kill me for telling you, but Peter got himself a girlfriend."
He actually looked surprised, as far as Loki went, looking at me with both eyebrows raised. But he got over it quickly, if his next words were anything to go by. "Is it you?"
"What? No, don't be an idiot," I said, waving in dismissal as he laughed at my expression. "Never in a million years."
"Never say never."
"Shut up."
The smirk didn't leave totally, which left my thankful for the millionth time of this mask because – not that I was, but if, if I was blushing, hypothetically, because I wasn't – then I'd feel really awkward if he noticed that. But he moved past it, which I was thankful for. "So, it's either gonna be his crush or your best mate, right? If it's definitely not you."
"It's definitely not me," I assured him, sighing and rolling my eyes. "No, he snagged his crush, somehow. He's taking her to Homecoming tomorrow night. MJ is definitely bitter. But it's the only good thing to happen to him since he lost the suit so he's really pumped about it and stuff."
"Ah yeah. He must've had nothing to do with his time."
I shrugged. "He's passing Spanish class now and getting guaranteed straight As in absolutely everything else, so I think his depression comfort is overstudying."
"Suppose you'd rather have that than a moping teenage boy on your hands," Loki shrugged. "We'll think of a way to get him back into Stark's good books. After you two have left school for the year and moving day is done because Stark is absolutely paranoid about that shit."
"Oh yeah, that's a given really, we can't have our friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man disappearing," I agreed.
I couldn't believe I was literally finishing the sophomore year on Friday. That was mental to me – it seemed like years had passed, but at the same time, it had totally flown by. My suspension felt like yesterday, and yet, I felt like I'd always been a part of the Avenger protégé patrol team.
I was looking forward to summer break, for once. Even though I would definitely need to get a job, no excuses this time, I had a whole summer of Avenger-ing, hanging out with Loki and Maximoff and Barnes and the rest, and, like, no maths. The only thing that would weigh me down would be the prospect of having to see Mr Evans back when I returned, and that's sadly the real him, not Loki's version. Perhaps this three month suspension taught him something, like mine did for me. I doubted it though.
That was still a long time away though. For now, I just reverted back to the present and asked, "So, d'you have any drama shit to share with me?"
He shook his head solemnly. "No. It's so boring in the Tower at the minute. Maximoff, Barnes and I are actually grateful for patrol duties because it livens it up a bit. Everyone else is fucked. Plus, while I love Happy and everything, he treats me like I don't understand English."
I raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that because the first time you spoke to him it was in native Asgardian and you pretended to not understand what he was saying back?"
"Besides the point. I know more sesquipedalian words than he does." He nodded at my confused look before I had chance to correct it. "Point made. But other than that-" he stretched out and flopped back against the wall again "-I am living for your teenage drama shit. Got an outfit for your dance?"
"Nope," I said, with a single shake of my head. "I'm slowly coming to the conclusion, over time, that I hate dresses, and looking smart, and dances. So I guess I'm going in my yellow hoodie."
"Ah," Loki nodded, as though he understood. "I am also not particularly fond of dances. Or dresses for that matter."
"No, I couldn't really see you in one."
"I rock ballroom gowns though."
"Still can't see it."
"But if you're so hesitant about wearing a dress, just go in a suit," Loki shrugged, and suddenly a lightbulb turned on in my head. "If you want, I can even, uh, "borrow" some money from Stark to pay for you. Not like he'd notice."
So, basically, that was how Loki and his protégé Jay ended up suit shopping in some place I had never stepped foot in in my life. Obviously, I was with Loki, and I'd entered as Black Jay, so I couldn't try anything on because I couldn't take my mask off. Luckily the stores were pretty quiet, and I was surprised about that since there was a great clearance sale with, like, five different options of suits and stuff. For, like, seventy percent off. And that's how I ended up with an all-black suit complete with shirt, jacket, tie and trousers which Loki (or Stark) paid just thirty fucking dollars for.
It made me feel strangely good about myself, and I still even had the forty Dad gave me left over. But then we passed a Doc Martens store with a giant sale sign up in the window and it just so happened to capture me and pull me inside dragging Loki with me...
*
"Oh my God, you weren't joking when you said you'd been shopping, James," Dad said when I revealed my haul to him after we'd eaten dinner. "Ain't no way you got all this for forty dollars. Doc Martens are usually at least a hundred twenty."
"I saw a clearance sale. I can't resist clearance sales," I smirked, modelling my new boots as I used the apartment as my own personal catwalk. I was already in love with them. They fit perfectly – no one bought these ones because they were manufactured to the wrong spec and therefore fit no one... no one except lucky me, with my weird feet. I hadn't had new shoes since I was thirteen so it was about fucking time. "Less than forty for these, Dad. It was meant to be."
"Then where'd you get the money for the suit?"
"Got a bit from my Internship because I did a better job than usual," I lied easily, not looking up from my boots still, crossing them over and doing a spin. "MJ and I were looking at dresses for, like, ten hours, until I decided nah, dresses suck." I looked up. "But I can re-wear a suit, or at least the shirt and trousers, for any formal occasion, when am I ever going to wear a dress again?"
"Well, for formal occasions I suppose," he shrugged. "I applaud your decision though. It'll, er, suit you."
"Stop making dad jokes."
The rest of the evening was spent watching TV and tuning into the evening news as usual, and held, thankfully, fewer dad puns. I was still wearing my new boots, getting accustomed to the feel as I intended to wear them to death, not just for Homecoming. Even Loki was eyeing up some of the boots, so I suspected before long we might become Doc Martens buddies.
I'd WhatsApp-ed MJ a picture of them with the caption 'So maybe I shouldn't have let u leave me alone w money' and she'd responded several facepalm emojis and the message 'they do look sick asf tho'.
My next stop was the group chat, "Fools with no April".
You: OK then gang its officially time to plan transport to the homecoming
MJ: already sorted
Ned: Seconded
Peter: Going with Liz ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You: O
MJ: u didn't think again, did u
You: In my defence I don't actually have a brain to think with
MJ: its obvious dw
You: :'(
Ned: mIcHeLlE jOnEs WaTsOn DoNt MoCk ThE dIsAbLeD cOmMuNiTy WiTh No BrAiN
MJ: -_-
Peter: Ned...
Ned: ...is cooler than Peter :)
You: OHHHH
You: NEDS ON A ROLL
Ned: HELL YEAH I AM
Peter: *sighs*
You: OK but um no biggie I can walk
You: In my brand new boots
You: Not to brag or anything
Ned: SHOW ME YOUR OUTFIT OR DIE ADAMS
Peter: Ned man XD
MJ: I concur
You sent a picture
You: Here be me
Peter: Woah MJ you really are a positive influence on her fashion choices
MJ: I didn't help her pick that, she abandoned me for a better shopping partner :'(
You: I did NOT
You: U left me unattended with money
You: There is a difference
Ned: DOCTOR MARTENS WHOOOOO
You: YES A FELLOW APPRECIATOR
Ned: GIVE ME
You: NEVERRRRRRR THEY R MIIIIINNNEEEEEE
Ned: NOOOOOOOOOO
Ned: I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU LOVE
You: I WILL RISE AGAINST U WITH AN ARMY
Ned: I WILL THWART YOUR ARMY WITH THE ANCIENT MAGIC WHICH APPARENTLY HISTORICALLY RUNS THROUGH MY FAMILY'S VEINS
You: I WILL SUMMON POWER FROM AN ALLPOWERFUL BEING AND MAGICPROOF MYSELF AND BLAST YOU DOWN TO THE GROUND
Ned: I WILL RISE BACK UP I WON'T BE HELD DOWN
You: IM JUST A STRANGER WHO MADE A WAGER FOR MY LIFE
Ned: I MIGHT NOT ESCAPE THIS TIME
You: CAUGHT IN THIS NIIIIIIIIIGHTMAAAARE
Ned: DREAMS TURN TO THIN AIIIRRRRR
You: THIS IS THE HEEEEEAAAART AGAAAAAINST THE MIIIIIINDDDDD
Peter: What XD
You: PETER YOU ARE SO UNEDUCATED
MJ: love has made him this way
You: I BET YOU DON'T KNOW IT EITHER
MJ: shall not dignify that with a response
Ned: OOOOH THAT MEANS YOU'RE IN LOVE TOO THEN
MJ: fuck off
Peter: I just didn't understand that reference
You: Ned, I am proud
You: MJ and Peter, don't worry, I will request it from the DJ tomorrow night
MJ: if u ever get there
You: I'll walk it'll be fine
Ned: Claim your joyride from Flash
You: Y'know what, I almost entirely forgot about that, but I really don't think I'll be driving Flash's car tomorrow unless something really, really weird happens
Peter: Good point
Ned: By the ancient gods and all holy things in the multiverse, I hope you just jinxed it
You: I can't see Flash coming to pick me up
Ned: DO NOT LOSE HOPE JAMIE
And so, that night, I fell asleep amusedly mulling over the hilarious reaction of Flash's face if I decided to act on that promise I held him to all those weeks ago now and completely forgetting that anything aside from Homecoming existed anymore. I even forgot that moving day would be the perfect time for a certain winged weapons dealer to bag the deal of a lifetime while Spider-Man and Jay were too busy to help out.
---
Eep so this Author'n'Jamie Note is gonna be sorta long so lemme just split into a few different parts for convenience and before Jamie starts exploding again...
First, here are some sketches I did that I wanted to share with you :)
Jamie and MJ dressed up for Homecoming.
Me and Jamie, the purple hair gang. I wanna do more of these with the two of us. Better ones. This was just a sketch :3
See, I'm gonna be hopefully getting a tablet for my birthday, which means I will finally be able to do some digital drawing and I am SO PUMPED for this since it means I won't be confined to a tiny little phone screen anymore and I'll be doing so much I swear to the gods I am so excited for this. I have so many little ideas...
Maybe let them wait in unfair anticipation before revealing your plan for world domination with fanart of your own characters.
What do you mean?
I'm just saying. You don't have to tell them your plans. Let them find out your plans when you draw them.
But my birthday is, like, so long away, even I can't wait that long :(
Patience, copycat.
Why am I a copycat? You're almost a fictional carbon copy of me.
You're trying to look like me. Purple hair girl.
OK, for one, that was an entirely spontaneous colour choice that I totally was not planning, and two, it isn't even the same shade of yours. It's like... yours crossed with Loki's.
Uh huh.
ANYWAY so my plan for drawing was-
STOP GODAMMIT I WANT THEM TO HAVE A SURPRISE WHEN THEY FIND OUT!
...............OHHHH you thought I was talking about THAT one XD Nah, don't worry, that one is a total secret, I'm not giving away any of your character development yet. I was talking about the pigeon rebellion.
...Oh. Well that's OK then.
And also previous scenes and also the interactions with me and also the animations and the one of you in a badass fighting scene and also the one with you and Flash-
Bro, calm the fuck down. You can't physically balance college, a job, a novel, dedication to all your fandoms and all this fanart at the same time, not to mention your new knitting obsession.
I am not getting obsessed with knitting.
So it was healthy to spend six hours on it earlier then?
Yes.
Please get some exercise.
Shut up. Anyway my SECOND thing, which I can't remember if I mentioned or not is that uhhhh yeah so after we crash Flash's car, finish Homecoming, and take down the pigeon rebellion, I am going to halt this book for a bit, since I really need to focus on my novel if I want to get it published by the end of the year. Also I am way overstressing myself-
Told you. It's a good thing I'm your inner voice.
-so Jamie agreed to not have too many hard feelings about being put on hold for as long as it takes. I think it will be a good place to start a hiatus too, so there won't be any cliffhangers or anything. Then I will focus on my job, my novel (again, no promises but it should hopefully be out by December, or at least finished, that's my aim) and college come September.
(For clarification, British college is not the same as American college, we start at 16, I guess it would be your last two years of high school, and I'm gonna be doing film and TV production and I imagine it will be a coursework-heavy project so possibly not a lot of free time when I get into it.)
You need to get into Marvel Studios so you can write me into the film script somehow. Just saying. I could turn the whole franchise into something much better.
Don't doubt it, but the MCU will probably be over by the time I'm famous enough for that. But I'll try. I'll write you into my novel somehow anyway.
Yay.
So there were a few other points I wanted to make too, if you aren't too annoyed with reading this long a note...
The song Ned and Jamie were quoting? A FUCKING AWESOME SONG BY A FUCKING AWESOME BAND - Heart vs Mind by I Prevail. I'd strongly suggest listening. Listening to DOA by them at the moment - also a sick song. Seriously, give them a chance. I'm obsessed with them.
Um, my home situation? How I keep saying everything has gone to shit? I should be screaming. But I'm apparently at peace with the whole thing so I'm kinda just getting on with it like normal...
And the final point is - y'all are super awesome for putting up with the longest ramble ever and we love you guys for it. And see you next chapter for some fucking awesome times :D