Your body felt light, as if the gravity of your fears and worries had been lifted off of them. However, they felt cold; a glacial touch having crawled its way under your skin and settled deep inside your bones.
No matter how close you hugged yourself, nothing would chase the shivers running down your skin away. And yet, you kept on trying, a stubbornness in you wanting nothing more than to return to the sweet escape of sleep again.
But that was all thrown away in an instant when, even if muffled and far away, you heard his voice break the surrounding silence.
"C'mon, c'mon... there has to be something here.'
Your eyes flung open and your head shot towards the direction you had heard him speak. Your vision was blurry and you recognized nothing around you, but a desperate hope had been awakened. and made you stumbled forward through a foreign thickness.
Your heartbeat begun beating loudly in your ears as you started recognizing a shade of red you had though you'd never see again. You instinctively reached forward, a compelling yearning overwhelming your mind and body.
Vash!
There he was. In flesh and bones, a few dozen yards away from you rapidly tapping away on a bright control panel. Even with a deep frown on his face, and dust dulling the shine of his hair and coat, he was still just beautiful and magnificent as you remembered him.
No. If anything, he was even more angelic like this; seeing him alive and well after having given up all hope of even catching a glimpse of him ever again.
You pushed forward, your mind still latching on to his presence like he was your last beacon of salvation. Just as always.
However, as if the universe was mocking you, a barrier stopped your trembling body from advancing any further. You pushed on it with you outreached hand, refusing to tear your eyes away from Vash's silhouette. Still, the invisible barrier would not break, making your chest ache with anguished frustration.
You brought up your other hand, using all your strength to push against this obstacle that kept you away from him. Fumbling to steady yourself in this strange fog you were floating in, you strained yourself to press against it, even as it showed no sign of weakness despite all your efforts.
It was only when you decided to look away from Vash for a moment to try and find a way around the barrier that you finally noticed what your limbs looked like, making you freeze at the sight.
"We gotta go Needle-Noggin!"
Wolfwood. His voice booming brought your attention back at the scene in front of you. He was standing on the doorstep of the strange metallic room filled with wires and tubes you were all in. A cigarette still hanging from his mouth and the covered cross over his back, he looked the same as before, only his clothes more wrinkled and dirtied.
When his blond companion stayed silent, not acknowledging his presence, the priest let out a heavy sight and quickly stepped over to join him.
"We need to go. Now."
"I just need one more minute, Wolfwood."
"We don't have a minute! The sandsteamer's leaving now! So, unless you wanna end up across the sand Ocean, we're getting off now!"
You didn't want them to leave. Your heart raced and ached with the thought of them leaving without noticing you.
Even if nothing around you made sense, even if the feathers and translucid skin over limbs that acted like your own unsettled you, even if this was a dream and it was all your mind torturing you; you just wanted to meet those gentle clear-blue sky eyes once more.
With desperation violently rising in you, you tapped on the barrier with your open palm. The sound was muffled by the liquid surrounding you and the limited strength your frail arm held, and so you went at it again.
One more time.
Again.
And again.
You winced at every strike, feeling the small feathers over your hands break and bruise but you could not care in your distress.
"What's wrong with her?"
Stopping at Wolfwood's words, a hope lighting in you as you saw him turn to glance at you, you pressed yourself as close as possible to the glass.
It's me! It's Luck! Wolfwood! Vash!
But even if you tried to shout to them, not a single sound came out of your throat. It was a stagnating silence that dealt a destructive blow to you.
You could not speak.
The realization struck you hard, your body tensing in a single moment. You tapped against the invisible barrier with renewed hopelessness. You needed Vash to look at you. He would surely recognize you; he would surely remember you. Right?
"There's nothing! Dammit!"
Wolfwood tore his pensive eyes from you towards an exasperated Vash that had just slammed his fist on the panel and was now simply standing there, as if in defeat.
His shoulders were slouched over and he was looking down, fists clenched over the panel he used to keep himself standing, his figure looking absolutely exhausted. Your heart ached at seeing him like that
"Ok. Then we're getting off- we still have that lead in Inepril."
The priest firmly grasped the blond criminal by his shoulder and begun harshly pulling him towards the exit. The latter said nothing, his body following without a struggle, as if he had been drained of all energy by the futility of his search.
But as the two men were making their way out of the room and further away from you, panic washed over you. You pounded on the glass with both your hands frantically, throwing what body weight you had in each strike and even kicking at it. The liquid around you begun taking an even deeper shade of pink as feathers were broken and ripped off, letting wounds bleed into the bulb.
However, even all your efforts only earned you a glance from Wolfwood over his shoulder as he kept walking ahead. He frowned at you, and as you silently screamed at him, you saw him hesitate for a second.
"Weren't you supposed to do something about her?"
Vash seemed to be reminded of your presence, as if he hadn't even registered it the whole time he had been there, even through your tantrum. He slowed down his pace until he came to a stop turning on his heels to look at you.
You felt a rush of heat flood your body from your chest where your heart beat vigorously as you caught his gaze. Even through the layers of deep exhaustion that glazed his eyes, and the emptiness that haunted them as he glanced over you, you still found the hints of the softness they used to hold; a reprieve you'd missed so dearly.
"I didn't have time to get to her...She had just overexerted herself before, I don't know why she's like this now..."
A loud voice echoed over the room through an intercom system: booming words you could not make sense of as the world around you was crashing down.
Vash! It's me! Vash!
Your lips quivered as you cried the silent words, your eyes stinging as you felt like your chest was collapsing on itself at the distance you found in Vash's eyes as he looked at you a moment more before turning away once more.
He did not recognize you.
"She'll be fine for now- she did that to herself. We should get off and head to Inepril."
You scrapped at the glass, the pain of your nails lifting a mere sting compared to the agonizing pain that plagued your mind and heart.
Was he mad at you? Was this how angry he was with you? Or...perhaps, had he actually forgotten you?
Vash! Please! Please!
But the two men had already turned their backs on you, taking fast and confident strides further and further from your flailing figure that kept hitting the edge of the bulb frantically.
Please don't leave me! Please! I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry!
***
"- don't leave me! Please! I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry!"
In a single blink, the world around you had changed once more. It was now drowned in darkness and stillness, the rusted metallic room you been staring at had changed for clear and uniform shaped walls.
You launched yourself forward, your eyes darting in the darkness to find where Vash had gone. It only took you an instant to see him sitting right to your side, his figure barely visible with the dim light that flooded from under the entrance door and that made his hair and traits seen much paler than usual.
But your anguished mind wouldn't let you stop or hesitate for a moment; you threw your arms around his neck the instant you laid your eyes on him. Tears soaked his clothes as you latched on to him with desperation, clinging to him as if he were you last hope- and he was.
"Please, please-don't leave me, please I'll-"
Your body shook violently from your sobs, your trembling voice barely able to make it's way out off your chest and form words. The heat propagating from him was faint, and restricted behind his clothes, but it was the most comforting thing to you at the moment, and so you clung to him even harder, pulling your body closer to him.
"I'll be better, I'll do better- I'm sorry I left- please!"
His silence was a sentence even harsher than death, it slowly dug into you, filling you with a guilt that ate you alive. Would he push you away? Would he not allow you to come back to him? Ever?
"I was just so- just so scared- I didn't know what to do- I didn't want to leave! I swear, I swear! Pleas-"
A sob was caught in your throat as you felt strong arms wrap around you gently and sparks run down your scalp while a warm hand begun petting your hair in a slow fashion, as if to soothe you.
The simple actions were all it needed to break what little hold on your cries you had left, letting handful of tears fall out your eyes and trembling wails pour out your mouth.
"I'm so sorry! I'm sorry-"
Your ramblings were cut short as you felt sparks bloom upon your soaked cheek and jawline, a confident hand cupping the side of your face to angle it forward.
You knew he probably wanted to say something, reassure you with some honey-dripping sweet words like he always did, but you didn't want any of it. You didn't trust yourself to believe any of it, you needed more- something to numb the ever-present doubt in the back of your mind.
And so, as you let him guide you, you wrapped your arms tighter around his strong neck and shoulders, pulling him into a deep desperate kiss.
You sensed his surprise, his body tensing against yours and his soft lips freezing for a moment before following yours into their deep passionate dance. Your soul taking a sight of relieve at his response, you slowed down ever so slightly. However, your despair only seemed to have awakened a deeper hunger in him, your anguished and quivering motions soon overtaken by his assertiveness.
A sound of surprise rose from your throat when his tongue claimed yours as property, roughly guiding it into an infernal tango, his canines serving as sharp teachers biting upon it whenever it could not keep up.
You had never thought he could have been so overwhelming, and yet you didn't dislike it. If anything, the metallic taste of the blood leaking from his bites on your lips mixing with the salt of your tears and the pressure of his fingers unto your waist had never felt more right.
Abandoning yourself to his claim, a fiery heat rising in your abdomen when he pulled you flush against his firm chest and a primal groan resonated from him, you felt a lustful fog cloud your mind. Lifting yourself upon your knees to let yourself reach him better, you dug your nails unto his shoulders just as he dug into your hips.
You needed his heat, his reassurance, his overwhelming hunger and sparks that drove you insane. You needed him.
The man met your need with his own, answering your crawl unto him by roughly pushing you unto your back on the bed, his limbs encasing your own as he loomed over you.
Your mind scorched by the heated want building inside of you, you had barely reacted to the abrupt movement, your fingers simply grasping more firmly unto the man's flexing muscles as your lips refused to leave his. And yet, you forced yourself to back away for a moment to catch your breath and to give voice to the raging pressure in your lower abdomen.
However, when you half-parted your eyes to look at him, you doubted you were seeing right.
You blinked and fully opened your eyes, hoping in vain that what you were seeing was simply a play of the light that would go away once your vision had adapted to the darkness. It either had to be that or a torturous nightmare, because how could this be real otherwise?
How could the man mere inches from your face truly be Knives?
You didn't get to ponder much more as the man dove for the crook of your neck, leaving sharp bites unto your exposed skin that bloomed into explosions of sparks that had you gasping from the intensity they spread.
But even through the waves of heat that assaulted your reason, you managed to voice your complaints.
"Wait! W-wait..!" Your tone was shaky, your mind still wavering under the fog of lust and the shock of the situation. So instead, you brought back your hands back to push against the man's chest.
Your efforts worked in a certain measure, the man ceasing his ravage of your collarbone briefly, even if his sultry pants against your skin and the low tone he spoke with made your body shiver with need all over.
"Don't worry, I won't break you; you're much stronger than you're aware."
His demanding hand roamed the side of your body as he spoke, urging you to grab it with your own almost unwillingly as felt your reason be washed away at each of its strokes.
"Knives, stop-"
"If I had known a single piece of furniture would have such an effect ..."
"Knives! Stop! I don't want this!"
The urgence and crack in your voice seemed to finally allow for it to register inside the man's consciousness, his movement stopping entirely. He lifted himself slowly, enough to no longer partly lie over you and so he could fully see your face.
His breathing was still ragged, although a lot less than yours, and his hair was slightly dishevelled. Still, what really struck you was his unusual expression. In the dim light of the room and from your angle, you could have sworn Knives held no hatred for you in that moment, his clear eyes filled with a deep fever you were afraid of exploring.
Your slightly trembling hands grabbed the covers that partly laid over you and pulled them over your exposed body, wanting to reduce your vulnerability to this man and the deep sensations and feelings he kept arising in your body and mind by his simple presence.
You had never felt more at this man's mercy than you were experiencing now, your heartbeat resonating with adrenaline and unmet need over your body as you apprehensively waited for his next move.
If he truly wanted, he could force himself on you, your resistance not even a concern for him with his bladed tendrils. You knew that well. But it had never been a fear until this very instant, never had been a real threat until the glacial abhorrence he had held in his gaze for you for decades had suddenly been replaced by a storm of emotions swirling around a dangerously scorching carnal desire.
Your brows furrowed upwards as his frowned downwards, your hands clutching painfully the soft fabrics of the bed covering you.
Was he going to...?
A lump formed in your throat and your eyes begun stinging as he stayed immobile, his jaw firmly clenched and with a strained expression you could not decipher in the moment.
You jumped slightly when he suddenly moved, pushing himself off of you and effortlessly descending from the bed to face away from you. You stayed silent; body fully tensed as you watched him run a hand through his platinum hair, his tensed muscles rippling over his should and upper back, as he let out a short groaning sigh.
When he turned to face you the moment after, his expression had regained its cold marble-like defense, making it practically impossible for you to know what was truly going on inside his mind. But as he saw you still on edge in your spot, more recoiled unto yourself, you sensed him hesitate, and in that instant, you thought you saw genuine pain in him.
However, you doubted yourself as it only lasted a fraction of a moment before he spoke in his usual detached and indifferent voice.
"Rest more...There will be a connection attempt in three days."
You felt your limbs fill with lead at his words, while he simply turned away from you to start making his way to the door of the room.
The door slid open, half-illuminating Knives' silhouette as he stood in the doorway.
"Goodnight, Thess."
He stepped out, the door promptly closing behind him, leaving you alone in the dark stillness of the room with nothing but his word and the sensations lingering in your body to haunt you in the middle of the night.
*I have an exam tmr why am I writing thissss AHHHHH*