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It All Started In A McDonald'...

By a_weird_MCU_fan

1.6K 139 2.9K

Life is a continuous cycle of depressing reality. We're born. We breed. We die. We're all just numbers workin... More

my life in a nutshell
Author's Note
who doesn't love maths?
mm, air for lunch
me, the multitasking queen
gotta love walmart
dammit MJ
this may have been the most interesting day of my life
hey, ik ur busy, but call me maybe
talking to disembodied voices - first sign of madness
wtf am i even doing here?
spidey Peter
the refrigerator thief
password: Stucky4EVA
beating dudes up is fun
two teenagers and a god walk into a bar...
jessie j ft. the brief interlude
snippets of random shit
we're just fools with no april pt.1
we're just fools with no april pt.2
why do bad guys always blow stuff up?
most awkward workout ever
we crashed the party alright
so is this the superhero's version of being grounded?
teenage rebellion
what the fuck is a Chitauri
now i just want cookies
t-shirt envy... i think
top level security shit
ffs, there are other ways to make a sandwich
dear reader,
spider-peter goes through some technical difficulties
darth suit guy
spy... or no spy? zat is ze question
chillin'
father-daughter bonding time
forgot to give it a f_cking name so its called this now
i claim a free joyride pt.1
i claim a free joyride pt.2
jamies birthday special!!
homecoming concluded
at least bucky barnes gets my pop culture references
i get a job
the debut of nick furry - aka a certain shapeshifting god
i was bound to cave into the chaos eventually
i get given an un-skippable side quest from MJ
a lil spot of snooping
cute little filler chapter with minimal trauma uncovered
big ass house party pt.1
big ass house party pt.2
THE DOWNFALL OF THE PIGEON REBELLION [OneShot]
something's coming, i can smell it... shit my waffles are burning

the next era of my life

10 1 5
By a_weird_MCU_fan

I promise that's the chapter title and not the name of an Author's Note where I'm gonna tell you I'm moving on. I may not be as active but I sure as hell ain't leaving this place.

Damn.

Fuck off, you. You're the one that'll never leave ME.

Heheh. I shall always corrupt your thoughts and infect every piece of literature you ever write. Whether you like it or not.

Shut up. Anyway - so Homecoming is finished, the movie, that is, and now Jamie gets to move on to her next adventure. But before she gets to the next big movie in her journey, she has more normal people things to do.

If normal people were friends with gods and shit.

Yes, quite.

---

One month later

Something crazy happened on the humble day of Thursday June 30th, 2016.

Oh, but Jamie, the voices in my head say, because I'm insane and have hundreds of those chorusing at me at once, something crazy happens to you every day now that you're an Avenger and a pigeon hunter.

Well, to be honest, I'm getting used to that bit of my life, but usually nothing ever happens to me during summer holidays. I've never been to a summer camp (duh, we're broke as fuck) and I've never had a summer job either. Mr Zhao had offered me a job at the karate place each summer since I was fourteen but I would feel bad about accepting since the business was just as broke as me.

So June was usually one of the worst months of the year for me. Not only was it starting to get hotter (I hate hot weather) but nothing ever happened. Like, yeah, no school. No work except summer homework which I never did because I didn't feel like it when the stupid weather was stupid. I'd honestly be dead if I lived any further south of the country.

It hadn't been too bad, I thought, as I wandered through my apartment at ten a.m., glass of orange juice in hand, and checking my phone, which I had open on Instagram. Bit boring to begin with, and training wasn't going as well as I'd hoped when I first heard I'd be training with the whole team. New Compound, new everything, it seemed, since everyone in the team had been given entirely new unique schedules (mine and Loki's were the only two which were identical) which changed every other week, so fitting in their training times with mine was much more difficult.

Plus... only Maximoff and Barton seemed content with the whole 'helping me train' thing. Barnes appeared indifferent to everything, but since he still had patrol duties during the morning I didn't see him all that much anyway. Peter obviously didn't come anymore, though we occasionally did an informal sort of patrol round where we lived (don't tell anyone, I'm not meant to be doing that).

Most of the time I got shoved in the simulation room. See, Rogers had given me tasks I needed to complete for me (and Loki) to be allowed back out to do Avenger-y patrol-y stuff again, and one of these was to earn a 90% success rate on the various scenarios in the Sim Room, which seemed simple enough at first, and I was really excited for it at first, since I'd never been allowed in the one in the Tower. I'd hoped that would be the easiest task.

I've done twenty three scenarios, and my current success rate is a mind boggling: 0%.

I sighed as I thought about that to myself, taking a sip of my juice, leaning against the kitchen counter as I refreshed the feed on my phone. It was hopeless now. I remember Loki telling me after I'd failed my fifth mission that it meant I needed forty five successes. When it was ten, it was ninety.

He stopped calculating it after twelve, and I didn't have a clue what it was now. I didn't want to know.

I felt bad about it, sure. After all, not only was I going to doom my future in the Avengers, but it also meant Loki wasn't allowed to leave the Compound. I heard from him who'd heard from someone who'd heard from Heimdall that Heimdall was under strict orders to inform the All-Bastard immediately if Loki broke any rules from now on, so Loki was in a really shit and very annoyed mood. It wasn't directed at me, but I felt bad, since at least I could go home and meet Peter and Ned if I wanted – he just had Netflix. He hadn't been joking about serious cabin fever.

But, on the bright side, something good had come out of June, and that was what had happened today. Or rather – I was waiting to happen.

Dad, Mr Zhao and I had set up the Instagram account for the business and I was now official person in charge since "I'm young and know how this shit works" in my dad's words. I don't know how this shit works, I've been winging it, but hey, I must've been doing a good job, since I was watching the profile now and had a post ready to send once that followers number got to one more.

In, like, three weeks, we were up to 2999 followers, and it was mostly thanks to the stupid videos we'd been putting up there. We'd been taking inspo from Duolingo, Ryanair and Subway Surfers (duh) and their Instagram accounts and putting dumb videos up to attract attention and it was, for some reason, working.

Actual business hadn't exactly improved thanks to it, though there had been a few people sign up for weekly sessions. That meant a steadier income, rather than the odd impromptu lesson. Dad and I could afford luxuries like marmalade on toast now, which was great.

So, yeah. I guess I'm a content creator now.

And that was the crazy thing to happen to me. Like, if you'd asked me in January whether I thought I'd be more likely to become an Avenger or a content creator, I'd have said Avenger. Now here I am – both.

I refreshed, and did a subtle air fist bump as the followers crept up to 3000. Immediately I posted the prepared post and story thanking everyone for three thousand followers with an attached meme starring all three of us mocking shocked faces captioned 'POV: you start to realise people actually like u now'.

Then I closed my phone down and finished my juice, contemplating what the hell to do with the rest of my day. I'm not due in for Avenger-ing until after lunch, so I have a couple hours to spare.

I debated calling MJ, before remembering it was midnight for her. Whilst she'd definitely be up still, I didn't want to disturb the rest of her family she was staying with. Or the Huntsman spider the family had named Matilda who apparently lived with her five children outside MJ's window. I hadn't particularly appreciated the image she'd sent me. Here in New York, you don't tend to run across many giant spiders... except Spider-Peter, obviously.

Then I debated calling the part-time Spider-Peter, before remembering he was busy today doing patrol shit and then hanging with Aunt May shit today. Ever since she'd actually found out about Peter being Spider-Man, she'd been dead cool about the whole thing, doing tons of stuff with him and Peter found it much easier to not have to lie any more.

Now, that all just made me want to tell Dad more, but I just didn't get round to it. There was never a good time to bring it up, and it wasn't like I'd been on the news that much recently. Plus, it wasn't like I had an explicit reason I needed to tell him, since he'd got used to me doing random shit all the time.

I shook my head and tapped my fingernails on the kitchen counter. Nah, I didn't have to say anything yet.

Eventually, I decided to default and, instead of making a start on summer work, I went into my room and activated my suit (Darth Rick told me it had fucking AC built in so I didn't overheat and it was great) and went into Stark Communications, opening my chat with Loki.

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - yo wassup

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - what do you want

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - I don't want anything (:

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - only people who want something start a convo with yo wassup

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - I want to check in with my awesome mentor (:

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - mhm

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - idk I'm just very bored and stuff

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - yes I know that feeling well

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - watched everything on Netflix yet?

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - I haven't watched a single thing on Netflix

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - WHY

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - BRO

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - I DON'T UNDERSTAND

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - don't like relaxing and room feels like a prison cell

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - oof

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - I'm sorry man

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - it seems really stupid ur being punished for mine and Peter's decisions and my incompetence

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - eh dw about it, it's been a long time coming

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - literally here as punishment in the first place remember

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - I'm not meant to be having fun

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - it still sucks tho

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - not the worst thing to happen to me. chill

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - dyou think they'll let me come early

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - prob not

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - damn

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - you'll be pleased to hear you're doing simulations today I'm sure

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - fuck sake

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - u only need 207 successful missions before we can cross off that shit :D

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - I've never seen that emoji used sarcastically until today

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - wdym :D I'm thrilled :D can't u tell :D I'm so happy :D :D :D

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - fucking hell chill

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - SHTAP IT

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - NO :D

JA16-09/17m-l?-MK01 - idiot. Wanna do a verbal chat or smth

IT'S-loki-B1TcH>:) - ig

---

I have 7 prepared chapters on here, for the next 7 Mondays :) After that, I can try to write some more to keep up with weekly updates... we'll see :)

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