That weekend, I went out with some friends, trying to distract myself. We were at a park, watching the activity around us while I tried to stay present in the conversation. But, as always, my thoughts kept drifting back to her.
One of my friends, Daniel, noticed the distant look in my eyes and let out a dry laugh. —"You're still thinking about her, aren't you? Man, she's gone. Left no trace, didn't leave a warning. Maybe it's time to move on."
I averted my gaze, focusing on some point in the park. —"You guys don't understand," I said, without raising my voice. —It's not that simple. I try to move on, but... I can't. I miss every detail, the silences we shared, the conversations we had. And at the same time, I'm angry. Because when I needed time, I always made sure she knew I was there."
Daniel crossed his arms, leaning in to face me. —"Then why did she leave? Without saying anything? Don't you think it's time to accept that maybe she doesn't think about you anymore?"
I bit my lip, trying to avoid the questions echoing in my mind.— "I wish I could believe that she thinks about us... that, at some point, she still remembers."
The anger bubbled up inside me again, a cycle that seemed impossible to break. Then I laughed bitterly, shaking my head. —"What nonsense, right? Damn it, Blake, stop being stupid. She's gone. Left without looking back."
In the following days, I tried to reorganize my routine, as if I could somehow restart my life. Going back to the usual places, returning to work, filling my free time with new hobbies, trying to find some meaning outside the relationship that had been so important.
But even with these attempts, the emptiness persisted. It was like something was always missing, and the more I tried to ignore it, the more I found myself reflecting on her. I wondered where she was, what she was doing, and if, at any moment, she looked back and remembered me.
v"Will she ever come back?" I thought, sometimes silently, as I stared at the ceiling of my room or during the lonely walks I took at night. I felt trapped between the hope that Allie would show up and the need to move on, to finally leave it all behind.
But at the same time, I tried to contain those thoughts. "She left, without explanations, Blake. Stop being stupid. She doesn't owe you anything. It's you who can't let her go."
A Silent Decision...
One night, after a conversation with friends that reminded me of the same advice, I decided I needed to free myself from that waiting. I needed to move on, not for her, but for myself. I knew this didn't mean forgetting what I had lived, but rather letting time bring some kind of peace to the chaos I was feeling.
I looked at my phone, read the last messages I had sent that were never answered, and on an impulse, I deleted everything. I felt a pang of regret, but soon it was replaced by a quiet determination. It was time to rebuild my life, for real.