nammie note <3!
we're kicking off this chapter with a nammie note because why not
this one is lovingly dedicated to Pinterest for sending me into a spiral of violent cuteness aggression over baby felix pics. like. be serious. why was he allowed to be that cute???
anyway, let's get a little nostalgic: what's your funniest or fave childhood memory?
tell me everything, i'm all ears 🫶
~
It had been the perfect kind of day.
The skies were clear over Seoul, the early evening breeze was soft, and Ivy was in one of her sundresses—the floaty kind Felix always said made her look like a K-drama main character.
They'd escaped for a date, finally. No schedule. No stylists. No managers trailing them through coffee runs. Just the two of them, walking side by side with matching sunglasses, a shared ice cream cone, and fingers tangled like ivy vines.
They wandered through the Han River park, stopping to pet every passing puppy and giggling over the oddly shaped swan boats. Felix even tried (and failed) to win her a plushie from a claw machine at a convenience store along the way.
"Okay," she said, breathless from laughing, "you're banned from any machine that takes ₩1,000 bills."
"It's rigged!" he protested, pouting. "Besides, you said you didn't want the bear."
"I lied," she smirked.
He kissed her cheek in retaliation.
It was calm. So rare. So full of ease and sweetness that Ivy's shoulders finally dropped for the first time in weeks. She was already drafting a Bubble message in her head for later. Something like: Went on a date today. Forgot what happiness tastes like. It's mint choco, by the way.
They sat down on a grassy hill, her head on his shoulder and his arm looped around her back. Their phones buzzed at the same time.
Felix checked first. Ivy followed suit.
A photo popped up in their family group chat.
Lina & Her Four Chaos Kids
Lina: Came across these while cleaning out the photo boxes!!! Look at this little dumpling 😭😭
Lina: This one's his first day of school!!! 🥹 Ivy look at that hair cut you're marrying a cartoon character I'm sorry.
Rachel: WHRE IS THE STICK HE USED TO HOLD IN EVERY SINGLE ONE I'M SCREAMING 😭
Olivia: I'm pretty sure he cried bc mum wouldn't let him wear fairy wings to school. You're marrying a drama queen.
Ivy let out an actual wail.
A real, dramatic, "I'm-being-attacked-by-cuteness" wail as she stared down at her phone.
"Oh my God, Lixie—your cheeks—look at your little hands—I'm gonna die," she cried, voice wobbling.
Felix groaned.
Ivy shoved her phone in his face. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU USED TO LOOK LIKE A STUDIO GHIBLI CHARACTER?!"
He squinted at the photo. "I was four?"
"Exactly! You were FOUR and ALREADY THIS CUTE. What am I supposed to do with this information?!"
"I want a baby you."
Felix choked. "I—what?!"
"I want a tiny Felix right now. I want the freckles, the cheeks, the little freaking thumbs, I want him in a onesie with a tail on it—Felix. Felix. I'm ovulating out of spite."
He blinked, stunned. "Ivy—"
"No, you don't understand. This is full-blown uterus grief. My body is mourning the fact that I can't have a mini you."
Felix looked like he was glitching. "Babe—"
She shoved the phone at his face. "LOOK AT THIS!"
He peeked. Baby Felix in a fairy costume, tiara askew, crying while Rachel grinned evilly in the background.
"Oh my god," Ivy whimpered, swaying like she might faint. "I need one. I need one."
"You want a fairy boy baby?"
"I WANT A MINIYOU, SHRUNK TO MINI SIZE. I WANT TO PUT HIM IN OVERALLS AND FEED HIM MUSHED PEARS."
Felix stared at her. Then laughed so hard he nearly fell off the bench. "You are not okay."
"I'm not," she admitted, eyes glassy.
She buried her face in his chest, genuinely overwhelmed, and squealed again when a video loaded. Little Felix, laughing in front of a camera in a park.
"I'm crying. I'm actually crying," she whimpered, eyes glossy. "I want this version of you back."
"You want toddler me?"
"Yes. Immediately. Or I will sue your mother."
Felix laughed, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I think Mum just locked in her favorite daughter-in-law spot."
She sniffled. "I'm her only one, idiot."
He kissed her forehead, wiping her tears. "You're unwell."
"I'm in mourning. Of the years I missed. I could've been there."
"You were four too."
"Exactly."
Felix smiled, pulling her into his arms. "One day," he murmured.
She looked up. "Huh?"
He nudged his nose to hers. "One day... if we ever do... have a kid... maybe he'll be like that. A little chaos baby. Maybe with your sass and my cheeks."
Ivy blinked. "I'll take ten."
"You said one."
"I lied. Lay me down."
"Ivy."
"FELIX."
As the sun dipped lower, they scrolled through the photos together—laughing, teasing, and occasionally crying all over again. Ivy clutched her phone like a treasure chest, completely ignoring their ice cream melting into a puddle.
That night, her Bubble message changed.
Ivanna Banana <3!
I met Baby Felix today.
No, not real-time. His mum sent me photos.
I cried. Twice.
The hair cut. The frosting cheeks. The fairy wings.
I love him more every single day. And now I also love tiny him.
🥲
And attached was a blurry, secretly snapped photo from their date—Felix mid-laugh, sunlight in his hair, and Ivy's hand in his.
~
The live begins innocently.
"STAY!" Ivy beams at the camera, her phone propped up on a pile of textbooks and cereal boxes in Dorm 1's living room. She's in sweatshorts and a pink tank top, hair thrown into a claw clip, fresh out of the shower. "I was bored. Everyone's loud today. So you're hanging out with me now."
She waves her fingers at the screen. A comment flies past: "Where's Felix?"
"Felix is in the shower," she grins. "So I'm safe for five minutes."
Ten minutes in, she was reading questions—talking about Aussie snacks, new makeup she was trying, and teasing the possibility of new music—when a noise in the hallway caught her attention. She turned.
The door opened with a slam.
"Hyung! Seungmin took my jelly again!" Jeongin yelled.
Ivy's eyes widened. "Jeongin. Live. I'm on live."
He froze. "Oh." he said, completely unfazed, grabbing a banana from the counter and sitting beside her like it was his own live.
"Didn't you say you were gonna clean?" she asked.
"I am cleaning," he said, peeling the banana. "Cleaning out the fridge."
Before Ivy could respond, Seungmin walked in, wearing pajama pants and a hoodie, raising an eyebrow. "Are we live?"
"No, we're all collectively hallucinating," Ivy deadpanned.
Seungmin, naturally, took that as an invitation to join. "Let's cook something. Make it a cooking live."
"I'm literally holding a can of sparkling water," she laughed.
"That can be the drink pairing."
Han wandered in next, holding a bag of flour. "I heard cooking live? I have flour."
"Why are you in our house?" Jeongin asked.
Han shrugged.
Before Ivy could stop them, Hyunjin strolled in, eyeing the camera. "Why didn't anyone tell me we were filming Vogue Kitchen?"
"You're not wearing a shirt under your apron," Ivy said, pointing.
"That's fashion."
It spiraled from there.
Seungmin brought out leftover rice and insisted on making "K-Drama Omelette Rice." Jeongin tried chopping onions dramatically and nearly sliced his finger. Ivy gave up and started cracking eggs—until Han poured a questionable amount of hot sauce into the mix.
"STAY, do not try this at home," she said into the camera. "Unless you want your intestines to sue you."
Felix appeared halfway through, towel around his neck, confused and shirtless. "What... did I miss?"
"Kitchen Nightmares," Ivy said, pointing at the mess of flour, eggshells, a suspiciously burning pan, and Seungmin doing something violent to ketchup.
Hyunjin was now posing with a wooden spoon like it was a runway accessory.
"Hyunjin, what are you doing?" Felix asked, drying his hair.
"Serving culinary couture," Hyunjin replied without blinking.
Felix walked over to Ivy, leaned down and kissed the top of her head mid-live. "You good?"
She gave him a pained smile. "I just wanted to say hi to STAY. Now we're filming MasterChef: Unhinged."
The rice burned.
The omelet collapsed.
Jeongin dropped a plate and blamed the lighting.
Eventually, Han tasted the final product and gagged so dramatically he slid down the fridge.
The camera was still rolling.
"Okay," Ivy said, turning to the camera, serious now. "Change of plans. We're ordering chicken."
"This is better than any scripted variety show"
"Hyunjin's spoon runway walk needs to be on Mnet"
"Felix just kissed her head i'm crying"
"Jeongin chopping onions like he's in a revenge drama"
"This live is unhinged and I love it"
Finally, an hour later, the chaos slowed down. Chicken was on the way. Felix was sitting behind Ivy, arms around her waist, chin on her shoulder.
She looked into the camera and smiled.
"I missed you guys," she said genuinely. "Even if you had to witness all... this."
Hyunjin posed again with a ladle.
Han fake-cried in the corner.
Seungmin tried to rename the live: "The Ivy Culinary Crisis."
Jeongin just wanted his jelly.
The screen was chaotic, the dorm a mess—but Ivy's smile never faded.
This was home.
The chaos had finally settled.
Greasy boxes of half-eaten fried chicken littered the coffee table. Jeongin was passed out across one couch cushion with a drumstick still in his hand. Han had fallen asleep next to the trash bin "just in case," and Hyunjin had retreated to his car, muttering something about exfoliating flour out of his pores. Seungmin quietly disappeared with his hoodie over his head, claiming, "I'm not cleaning. I was never here."
Ivy's phone buzzed, forgotten somewhere on the kitchen counter. But for now, her world was tucked in the corner of the living room, lights off except for the soft blue hue of the TV's sleep screen.
Felix lay behind her on the floor. His arm was wrapped tightly around her waist, the other resting under his cheek. Ivy was warm in one of his oversized shirts and fuzzy socks, her cheek pressed to his collarbone. Both of them smelled faintly of sesame oil and moisturizer.
"I'm still mad you didn't stop Han from pouring hot sauce into the eggs," Ivy murmured.
Felix chuckled against her temple. "I was in the shower. I came out to flour couture and burnt trauma."
"That was supposed to be a chill live." She whined softly, nose scrunching as she poked his chest. "Now the entire internet thinks we're feral."
"I mean, they're not wrong."
A lazy giggle escaped her lips as he shifted, pulling her tighter. Her fingers absentmindedly traced the tiny heart tattoo on his forearm.
Then—buzz buzz.
Her phone.
They both groaned in unison.
"No," Felix muttered. "Don't check it. The world can wait."
"It might be important."
"It's Sunday."
"It's JYPE."
He exhaled dramatically, burying his face in her hair. "Fine, but I'm not moving."
Ivy wriggled out one arm, grabbed her phone, and unlocked it.
Stray kids (non-feral gc)
Manager Lee:
Watched the dorm live.
You were supposed to do a normal live, Ivy.
How did we end up with a flour fashion show and a near fire?
Hyunjin:
I was being expressive.
Also that fire was Seungmin's soul leaving his body after ruining the rice.
Seungmin:
I SAID I THOUGHT IT WAS A RICE COOKER.
I pressed a button. The button betrayed me.
Jeongin:
I was just there for the Cheetos and my Jellies 😔
Han:
I think I blacked out after the oil splash
Did anyone else see Ivy THROW A WHISK AT ME???
Minho:
I saw it.
I respect it.
You deserved it.
Felix:
To be fair, I was fully clothed.
It was a tank top. That counts.
Manager Lee:
Felix. It was mesh.
From the waist up you looked like a Sims character mid-transition.
Chan:
I go offline for ONE NIGHT to do laundry and come back to this?
What even happens in Dorm 1???
Minho:
Sin.
That's what happens.
Ivy:
UHHHH.
It was supposed to be a chill little Bubble live.
Seungmin started chopping like a psychopath, and then Hyunjin brought in an apron with shoulder pads???
Hyunjin:
Don't act like you weren't living for it 😌
Fashion transcends frying pans.
Seo Hyumin (house supervisor):
People.
Someone unplugged the fridge to "make more outlet space for good lighting."
The fridge is now leaking.
There was milk in there.
Han:
Oh.
My bad.
Manager Lee:
I'm scheduling a fire safety refresher and a dorm appliance seminar.
Mandatory attendance.
Except maybe Ivy. She was trying her best.
(Though you did hit Han with a whisk.)
Ivy:
Emotionally justified.
Chan:
Seriously though.
Who LET Ivy go live without supervision?
She can't even boil water half the time.
Ivy:
EXCUSE ME???
I'm literally the most domestic one here.
Minho:
You once tried to microwave metal.
Ivy:
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
ALUMINUM LOOKS DIFFERENT WHEN YOU'RE TIRED
Felix:
I love her 😭😭😭😭
Manager Lee:
Please remember:
– No live cooking after 8PM
– No unsupervised oil use
– No mesh tanks
– No flour catwalks
– And someone PLEASE reset the fire alarm
Jeongin:
Are we still getting a new fridge, tho?
Hyunjin:
Already ordered.
Manager Noona said we earned it.
Chan:
Earned what? A lawsuit?
Minho:
No.
Burnt kitchen and PTSD.
Ivy blinked. Then laughed so hard her shoulders shook.
Felix peeked over her arm. "What? What did they say?"
She showed him the screen.
Felix squinted, then groaned. "I knew he was watching."
"'Tell Felix to wear a proper shirt next time,'" she read aloud in her best Manager Lee impression. "Oops."
Felix buried his head in the pillow. "I hate this company."
"They also called Hyunjin iconic, so."
"I mean, fair."
She tossed the phone aside and nestled back into his chest, the warmth of his skin and the steady beat of his heart melting her lingering embarrassment.
"Even with the chaos..." she whispered, "I missed this."
Felix kissed her hair. "Me too. You, the noise, even Seungmin's passive-aggressive egg flips."
They lay there in comfortable silence for a while. The city lights blinked faintly through the blinds. The sounds of other members moving about faded into the distance.
Then Ivy mumbled, barely audible: "Next time, I'm locking the kitchen."
Felix smiled against her forehead.
"No promises, babe."
~
Stray Kids (non-feral gc)
Chat name has been changed to:
Ivy's Daycare for Emotionally Damaged Idols + Staff Group photo: a cursed meme of Seungmin holding a frying pan
Ivy:
New chat name. New vibe.
New era. New trauma bonding.
You're welcome.
Manager Lee:
What. The actual. Hell.
This chat was created for logistics.
LOGISTICS, Nayoung.
Ivy:
Boooo tomato tomato throwing tomato
Let me live.
Ivy changed the group nicknames of:
Bang Chan ➤ "Daddy Issues Leader v1™️"
Lee Know ➤ "Silent Judge With Killer Thighs"
Changbin ➤ "Protein & Regret"
Hyunjin ➤ "Fine Art With No Fine Motor Skills"
Han ➤ "Chaos #1"
Felix ➤ "My Boyfriend (But Make It Baby Chick Edition)"
Seungmin ➤ "Passive Aggressive Barista"
I.N ➤ "Maknae But Make It Menace"
Manager Lee ➤ "Mother of Mayhem"
Minji ➤ "Yes She's Dating Hwang Hyunjin"
Seo Hyunmin ➤ "Supervisor Who Hates Us"
Stylist Yujin (new) ➤ "Pretty Girl #1 Who Didn't Sign Up For This"
Stylist Hyeon (new) ➤ "Pretty Girl #2 Who's Already Googling How To Resign"
Ahn Jaesoo (Dance Instructor) ➤ "Stretch or Die Drill Sergeant™️"
Park Jihye (Hair Stylist) ➤ "Blow Dryer Barbie with Scissors of Doom"
Kang Doyun (Makeup Artist) ➤ "Contour God. Will Fix Your Face & Your Life"
Kim Eunji (Vocal Coach) ➤ "High Note Sadist"
Choi Daemin (Physical Therapist) ➤ "Joint Popping Wizard"
Nam Hyerin (Company PR) ➤ "Unpaid Babysitter with a Press Badge"
Lee Junho (Security Team) ➤ "Muscle Wall of Silence"
Shin Areum (JYPE Intern) ➤ "Fresh Meat. Good Luck."
Oh Minseok (Logistics & Scheduling) ➤ "Spreadsheet Supreme"
Kwon Jiyoung (Camera Director) ➤ "Lens Goblin Who Sees Too Much"
Yoo Sangmi (Stylist Team Leader) ➤ "Mother of Wardrobe Malfunctions"
Jo Yuna (Digital Team) ➤ "That One Editor Who Blackmails Footage"
Seo Jinwoo (Lighting Tech) ➤ "Blinded by the Lights. Literally."
Manager Lee:
I think the new stylists want to quit already
What the fuck is this first impression, Ivy
Stylist Yujin:
...hello everyone
I'm just going to, uh, vibe?
Stylist Hyeon:
I thought this was a professional job.
Hyunjin:
It's professional in the way SpongeBob is a functioning adult
Chan:
Fix it.
Now.
Or I'm removing you from the company group WiFi access again.
Ivy:
You wouldn't dare.
Chan:
Try me.
Seungmin:
I vote we keep the names tbh
It's honest
Felix:
I'm literally not offended but also a little offended
"Baby chick??" Ivy please
Ivy:
You PECKED me yesterday when I wouldn't give you the last jelly snack
You ARE a chick.
Jeongin:
Can I be "Maknae Menace Supreme" instead?
Gotta assert dominance.
Lee Know:
I will hit you with a rice paddle, Jeongin.
Han:
No one asked but I'm officially "Chaos #1" now.
Does this mean we can have it on official merch?
Ivy:
Bet.
First drop: aprons that say "Emotionally Damaged But Still Hot™️"
Manager Lee:
I quit.
Manager Seo:
I just fixed the fridge and now this.
Changbin:
Is there protein in the trauma merch
Minji:
I'm reading all of this and crying.
Not because I'm laughing.
Because I share a friend ship with Ivy.
Ivy:
YOU'RE NEXT 😘
~
The dining table in Dorm 1 was packed with takeout containers, bowls of half-eaten kimchi jjigae, a pile of fried chicken bones, and soda cans that no one was claiming. Ivy sat crisscrossed on one of the kitchen chairs, messy bun flopping with every dramatic retelling of her attempt to dodge a pigeon earlier that day. Felix had his head on her shoulder, eyes fluttering half-closed, clearly too full and too cozy to move. Seungmin was trying to wrestle the last drumstick from Jeongin, while Minho stared blankly into his bowl, poking at his rice like it had personally offended him.
The evening was calm, chaotic in their usual way—until Ivy's phone started buzzing across the table.
She glanced down and immediately straightened.
Julia 🍓
Ivy's brow creased. "It's Jules," she said, already answering the call and pulling the phone to her ear. "Hey. What's up?"
The sound on the other end was barely intelligible at first—a sharp inhale, a sniff, and then a soft, "Unnie?"
Felix lifted his head immediately, his instincts tuned to every shift in her voice. "What's wrong with Jules?" he asked, sitting up.
Ivy didn't respond to him just yet. Her voice softened. "Jules, are you crying? What happened?"
The room quieted. Even Jeongin paused mid-bite.
There was a pause before Julia's voice cracked through.
"She lied about me, unnie. In front of everyone. She said I copied her essay when I wrote it from scratch. And the teacher believed her."
Ivy blinked, jaw tightening. "Wait. Who?"
Felix gently rubbed her back while she stood up from the table and walked toward the living room, still on the call.
"Jess. From my literature class. She told the teacher I cheated, and now I have to rewrite the whole thing. And everyone thinks I'm... like I'm a liar. Even Hyun said I probably did it." She sniffed again. "He didn't even ask me."
Ivy paced slowly, hand on her hip, fury building in her chest.
"You're not a liar," she said firmly. "You hear me? You're not. And that girl is jealous. You probably outwrote her, and she couldn't stand it."
"I just... I feel so dumb. I didn't even do anything wrong."
Minho stood now, too, leaning against the back of the couch. "She's sad?"
Ivy nodded.
He scoffed. "Tell her to give me the kid's name. I'll send her a passive-aggressive fruit basket."
Ivy laughed under her breath. "Your favourite cousin says he's ready to commit light psychological warfare for you."
"Tell him he's my second favorite," Julia croaked, a small smile in her voice.
"Second?" Minho yelled. "Then who's first?!"
"I'm on speaker now, huh?" Julia giggled.
"Yup," Ivy said with a grin. "You just became the main character of dorm dinner, congratulations."
"I didn't mean to interrupt..."
Seungmin leaned forward and called, "Hey, kid! Don't let some ass ruin your vibe. People only accuse others when they know they're not as good."
Jeongin added, "Yeah, and if anyone tells you otherwise, tell them you have eight backup dancers and one overprotective noona with a surprisingly high kick."
Felix took the phone gently from Ivy's hand. "Hey, Jules. It's Lixie."
"Hi," she whispered.
"You know I've seen you write, right?" he said. "Like, you write better than Han sometimes."
"Excuse me?!" came a scream from the hallway.
Felix ignored him. "You're brilliant. This'll pass. And if not, we'll find her email and subscribe her to 300 spam newsletters."
That earned a giggle.
"Thanks, oppa."
Ivy leaned over Felix's shoulder, voice soft again. "Jules, you good now? Want me to stay on with you after?"
There was a pause. Then Julia said something that made all the boys freeze.
"You're cooler than all of them combined."
Minho blinked slowly. "I'm sorry?"
Chan actually choked on the water he was sipping.
Jeongin dropped his chopsticks.
"I—what the hell—Julia, that was uncalled for," Seungmin deadpanned.
"I said what I said," she replied sweetly.
Felix beamed, clearly proud to be dating her sister.
Ivy grinned wide, "Love you too, loser."
"Love you more, even though your members are tragic. Byeeeee~!"
The call ended, and the dorm erupted into chaos.
"She said what?!" Han came running in from the hallway like he missed a life-defining insult. "Ivy, tell your sister I used to like her. Used to."
"She's not wrong," Minho muttered, sipping his drink.
"She just made my entire week," Ivy laughed, curling into Felix on the couch as he pulled a blanket over the two of them.
Jeongin crossed his arms. "If I send her free Cheetos will she say I'm cooler?"
"Nope," Ivy said proudly. "You're all doomed."
~
The mirrored walls of the JYPE practice room reflected every breathless movement, every slip of sweat, every silent pressure building behind Ivy's ribs.
It was hour five of rehearsal.
Her hoodie was long discarded in a corner. Her leggings were clinging to her skin like second skin, hair matted against her temples. The speakers blared the chorus of the track for what felt like the fiftieth time, her thighs screaming with every beat, lungs dragging like sandpaper.
"Again."
She bit the inside of her cheek.
The new assistant choreographer, some hire from a recent agency merge, stood with a clipboard in hand and a pen that hadn't stopped tapping since they arrived. Ivy didn't know her name. She didn't care to.
"Again," the woman said flatly. "You're off tempo again, Nayoung-ssi. That's three times. You're making the others reset."
Ivy looked up, sweat dripping down her jaw.
Han blinked, glancing toward her.
Even Felix shifted slightly from across the room. She could feel his gaze like static heat.
"I was on the beat," Ivy muttered.
"Excuse me?"
She straightened. "I was on the beat."
The choreographer's eyes narrowed, like Ivy had just flung a curse across the floor. "Are you saying I'm wrong?"
"I'm saying maybe listen instead of just watching."
Silence.
The room shifted. Minho slowly uncapped a water bottle. Chan looked up from where he'd been rewinding the track. Hyunjin paused mid-stretch.
The woman blinked. "You need to watch your tone."
And Ivy could've. She could've bowed and apologized. She could've breathed and moved on and let it roll off her spine like every other time someone mistook her for fragile, for temperamental, for difficult, for too loud, too foreign, too female, too emotional.
But something in her snapped.
"No. I really don't."
The pen stopped tapping.
"You've been aggressively nitpicking me all week. You act like my mistakes set the whole building on fire but when Minho tripped twice no one said a word. I stayed quiet. I adjusted. But you don't get to talk to me like that."
The air thinned.
Ivy's hands were trembling—not from fear, but fury. Her voice didn't rise, but it cracked like a whip, sharp and cold and honest.
"I'm not some moody little trainee you can guilt into submission. I work my ass off here. I'm not lazy. I'm not fragile. I am not going to smile and bow just because you're uncomfortable with me not being quiet."
The woman opened her mouth, offended. "I think we need to—"
"I think we're done for today," came a voice behind her.
Everyone turned.
Chan had crossed the room without a word, towel slung around his neck, sweat still dripping from his jaw. His tone was level but left no room for argument.
"Ivy, get some water," he said calmly. "Everyone take ten."
"But—"
Chan looked at the staff member directly. "We'll regroup later."
It wasn't a suggestion.
The woman gave a tight nod and stepped out of the room, shoulders stiff.
Ivy stood there, chest heaving. Her fists were clenched, nails digging crescents into her palms. The room was dead quiet.
Then Felix walked over and handed her a water bottle.
"You okay?" he asked softly.
She didn't trust herself to answer. Her eyes were glassy, not from guilt or regret—but exhaustion. Years of biting her tongue. Years of brushing things off. Years of smiling through backhanded compliments and double standards.
She sat down heavily against the mirror. Felix sat next to her, thigh pressed to hers, hand brushing her knee.
"I'm proud of you," he whispered.
Minho threw her a towel without comment. Han crouched nearby, nudging her sneaker with his.
"Honestly?" Seungmin said from across the room. "It was kind of hot. Like emotionally."
"Bro," Jeongin muttered, kicking him.
Chan walked over, crouching in front of her now, arms resting on his knees.
"I'm not mad," he said gently. "You didn't do anything wrong. Just—next time, talk to me first before you pop off."
Ivy blinked. "You're really not mad?"
"No," he smiled faintly. "But you scared the new girl. She looked like she saw a ghost."
"She said I was slowing everyone down," Ivy murmured. "I didn't even say anything the first four times."
"I know." Chan's eyes softened. "That's why I stepped in. Because I've seen you swallow that stuff before. You've got anger, Ivy. But you've also got control. Today? You didn't lose it. You just stopped lying about how you felt."
She looked down, jaw tightening. "Feels like I just made things worse."
"No," he said. "You just stopped being smaller to keep people comfortable."
Minho muttered from the other side of the room, "Took her long enough."
"Maybe now the staff will finally stop calling her emotional like it's a slur," Seungmin added.
Hyunjin brought her a banana. "For potassium. Also, I love you."
Ivy laughed, a breath breaking from her chest, finally easing the burn in her throat.
Felix leaned his head against hers. "Next time, let me scream for you."
"Then it won't be real," she said.
"It'll still be loud," he replied, nuzzling closer.
She smiled.
They all sat there, not in chaos, but in quiet solidarity. And maybe for once, Ivy didn't feel like she had to explain why her hands shook or why her voice cracked. They'd seen it. Heard it. Felt it.
And they were still here.
The next day, Ivy walked into the dance studio with low expectations and her AirPods already in. The soreness in her thighs hadn't faded, but neither had the clarity in her chest. She had no regrets.
She didn't expect Yoo Haein to be waiting by the mirrors, holding two iced Americanos and visibly nervous.
"Oh. Um—Ivy?"
Ivy pulled one earbud out, blinking.
Haein gave a small bow—polite, not performative.
"Can I talk to you? Just... one minute."
Ivy considered saying no. She could feel Felix watching from the corner, halfway through tying his shoes. Chan paused mid-scroll on his phone, but didn't interfere.
"Okay," Ivy said, quiet but clear.
They stepped slightly aside, near the speaker rack.
"I, uh..." Haein exhaled. "I wanted to apologize. For yesterday."
Ivy said nothing.
"You were right," Haein went on. "I was being nitpicky. Unfair. I think I walked into this team with a lot of assumptions. You're... very different from what I expected."
"Loud? Opinionated?" Ivy said dryly.
"Real," Haein admitted. "Confident. I think I was projecting my own discomfort onto you. I'm not proud of that."
It was the last thing Ivy expected: honesty.
"I've worked in companies where idols—especially women—don't get to speak up," Haein said. "And I guess I was... mimicking that. Without thinking."
There was a pause.
Ivy tilted her head slightly. "Why now?"
"Because it didn't sit right with me all night. And I don't want to be that person here. I also don't want to be scared of you—though yesterday was mildly terrifying."
That got a small laugh out of Ivy, even if she didn't mean to.
Haein offered one of the iced coffees. "Peace offering."
Ivy took it. "Thanks."
"I also thought... maybe if you're free, we could grab food sometime? On me. Just to reset, not in a fake-friendly way. In a human way."
Ivy looked at her for a long second.
"Sure," she said finally. "But I'm picking the place. And if you say anything about my tempo, I'm ghosting you forever."
Haein smiled sheepishly. "Deal."
From across the room, Seungmin whispered to Hyunjin, "Are they flirting or trauma-bonding?"
"I don't know," Hyunjin whispered back. "But I support women."
Ivy walked back to her spot next to Felix, still sipping the coffee.
"She apologized?" he asked, glancing at her.
"Yeah."
"You okay?"
"I'm not mad," Ivy said. "Still tired. But... okay."
Chan, from the back, called out, "Let's warm up. And no one traumatize Ivy today or I will throw you."
"Copy that, Mother," Han deadpanned.
Felix leaned in. "You wanna go to that chicken spot after this?"
"Only if you let me rant for an hour straight."
"I'll bring snacks for your throat."
Ivy smiled, this time without tension. Maybe anger didn't have to burn bridges. Maybe it could build them—if the right people were willing to meet her halfway.
~
The dorm was unusually quiet for a Thursday afternoon. Most of the boys were either napping or in their rooms, headphones on, editing practice videos or scrolling through their phones. Ivy, on the other hand, was crouched near the front door with her pink mesh tote bag in one hand and a tiny polka-dotted leash in the other, coaxing a very bouncy ttalgi into a harness.
"Ttalgi," Ivy giggled, trying not to groan as the dog spun in circles, too excited to sit still. "If you'd just calm down for two seconds—okay, no, that's not food, that's my nail polish."
Ttalgi yipped, tail a blur, and launched herself off the nearby shoe rack, sending a domino of Ivy's sandals toppling over.
"Seriously?" Ivy muttered, straightening. "You're lucky you're cute."
The little dog darted across the hallway, skidding dramatically on the laminate floors. Ivy followed behind, leash still dangling from her wrist. She'd just about caught up to her when—
Crash!
There was a horrifying shatter. A sharp, unmistakable tinkle of ceramic and metal meeting the ground. Ivy's heart stopped.
Ttalgi stood triumphantly in the middle of the hallway, surrounded by what used to be Ivy's cream-colored Van Cleef & Arpels jewelry box. The lid was cracked, one earring missing, and the delicate gold bracelet with mother-of-pearl clovers had snapped clean in half.
"Oh my god," Ivy whispered, staring at the mess. "Ttalgi."
The dog's tongue lolled out like she'd just won the lottery.
Ivy sighed, her shoulders sinking. She took a deep breath, kneeling to scoop up the broken jewelry and bits of crushed box. "You're lucky Felix isn't home. He'd have a heart attack," she muttered, half-laughing as she stood. "Okay. Walk delayed. I'll just...put this away first."
Still holding the broken bracelet and trying not to pout, Ivy padded back toward the shared room she and Felix had claimed as theirs. She gently set the broken pieces in a drawer beside his cologne, then turned back toward the hallway.
"Wait for mummy, okay? Just two minutes," she called out. "No chaos. I'm trusting you."
She darted back to grab her jacket—and forgot.
Forgot the door was open. Forgot Ttalgi had never been on her leash.
It wasn't until she zipped up and reached for the leash again that she noticed the hallway was...empty.
"Ttalgi?" she said casually. "Strawberry, baby?"
Silence.
A slow, creeping chill coiled around her spine.
"...Ttalgi?" Ivy called, louder this time, stepping barefoot down the hall. She checked the bathroom, the boys' rooms—Seungmin's door was closed, Jeongin's headphones were on, Minho was snoring face-down on the couch.
Nothing.
Her heart stopped.
She ran to the front door. The pink leash was still on the hook. The door, still ajar.
"No, no, no..." Her voice cracked as she pushed it open and looked down both ends of the hallway. Empty. Not even a puff of fur or a bark in the distance.
"Oh god. Oh god," she gasped, stumbling backwards.
She slammed the door shut, her hands trembling.
"TTALGI!"
The scream came out broken, echoing through the dorm. It startled Jeongin, who pulled his headphones off instantly and ran out. "Noona?!"
"She's gone—she's gone—I left the door open, I wasn't thinking—she broke my bracelet and I—I just—" Ivy's voice was climbing higher, crumbling with panic. "I told her to wait—I thought—I didn't mean to—"
Tears welled up fast, uncontainable. She crouched to the floor and covered her face, shoulders shaking. "She's so small. What if someone takes her? What if she gets hit—oh my god—Felix is going to kill me—"
"Noona, no—hey, hey," Jeongin dropped beside her instantly, hands on her shoulders, voice urgent but gentle. "We're gonna find her, okay? Don't panic. Just breathe—breathe, please."
"I can't," Ivy choked out, gasping. "I didn't even notice the door was open, I didn't—I'm so stupid—"
"Stop. You're not. You're not stupid," he said firmly. "Minho-hyung! Ttalgi's out! Door was open!"
In seconds, the dorm was erupting with noise—Seungmin flying out of his room, Minho cursing under his breath as he bolted to grab his shoes.
Jeongin kept a hand on Ivy's back, trying to ground her while the others mobilized. "We've got like, five people who know this building. She's fast, but not smarter than eight of us, okay?"
"I should've noticed. I shouldn't have—" Her voice broke again as she curled forward, guilt swallowing her whole.
Felix's room was still behind her. Empty. Quiet. Ivy didn't dare look at it.
Because if she had lost Ttalgi... she didn't know how she was going to face him.
The dorm's front door flew open.
Minho led the charge, slipping on his slides mid-run. "I'll check the stairwell and trash chute. Seungmin—elevator. Jeongin, check the mailboxes downstairs. Hyunjin, roof?"
"I'm on it," Hyunjin called, already pulling on a hoodie as he sprinted barefoot down the hall.
Jeongin helped Ivy to her feet, his tone still calm but urgent. "Noona, you stay here in case she comes back. We'll cover every corner."
Ivy nodded shakily, still gulping air, eyes wild. "She's wearing her pink ribbon collar. And she answers to 'chicken nugget' if you say it in a high voice. I don't know why, but she does—"
"I got it," Jeongin promised, already halfway down the stairs.
Seungmin leaned in to whisper, "Don't tell Chan-hyung. Not yet."
But Ivy barely heard him. Her mind was buzzing too loud. Her stomach churned. She turned in frantic circles inside the dorm, opening cabinets, closets, under couches—just in case.
"Ttalgi, please," she whispered over and over. "Come back, come back, come back."
Then the door creaked again.
She spun, hopeful—only to find Felix standing in the doorway.
Bag over one shoulder, damp hair tucked under a beanie. He blinked in confusion at the chaos before him. "Babe?"
Ivy's mouth opened, but no sound came out.
And then she burst into tears.
Felix dropped his bag instantly. "Nayoung?"
"She's gone," she sobbed, barely coherent. "I left the door open, and she—she got out, and I didn't see, and I was just—I didn't mean to!"
Felix's face went still.
"Ttalgi?" he asked, voice suddenly quiet. "She ran out?"
Ivy nodded, shaking uncontrollably. "She broke my bracelet, so I was putting it away, and I told her to wait, and she didn't have her leash on, and now she's gone, Lixie, she's gone—"
Felix didn't say anything for a moment. His jaw tensed. But he didn't yell. He just exhaled through his nose and crossed to her quickly, gathering her into his chest.
"Okay. Okay, it's alright," he whispered, one hand stroking her hair even as his own heart thundered. "We'll find her. You hear me?"
"I don't know where she went," Ivy choked. "She's so small—what if—what if someone stepped on her—?"
"She's smart. And loud," he said gently.
That earned the smallest, wet laugh from her. But she clung to him like her bones were dissolving.
Felix pressed a kiss to her temple, then pulled back and wiped her cheeks. "Listen. I'm gonna go look. But you have to breathe, okay? Stay here. In case she finds her way back."
"I don't want to be here alone," Ivy whispered, trembling.
"I'll stay," Seungmin offered, stepping back inside. "You're not alone."
Felix nodded once, eyes meeting Seungmin's. "Let me know the second anything changes."
"I got her."
Then Felix turned and ran.
Out the door, down the hall, three steps at a time.
And Ivy sat curled on the couch, shaking, every inch of her praying.
That someone would find her little strawberry.
That this wasn't her worst mistake.
That Ttalgi, her chaos-loving shadow, wasn't truly gone.
Time passed in crawling seconds.
Ivy sat cross-legged on the couch, her palms pressed to her lips, still in the same clothes she'd put on to take Ttalgi out. The leash lay limp beside her. Her eyes were bloodshot. Seungmin had put a glass of water next to her fifteen minutes ago, but it remained untouched.
No messages. No calls. Just the occasional ding from the boys' group chat updating locations:
Minho: No sign on 6th or rooftop.
Jeongin: Checked mailbox area. Nothing.
Hyunjin: Talking to security now.
Felix: Heading toward the back parking lot. There's a bush she likes to sniff near the trash bins.
Every ding made Ivy flinch.
"I should've chased her," she whispered. "I should've noticed."
Seungmin was sitting across from her, legs spread, arms resting on his knees. "And if you'd chased her, she might've run further. You didn't mess up. You just... forgot. For like two minutes."
She shook her head. "That's all it takes."
Then, a sharp ding! broke the silence again. Seungmin picked up his phone, eyes scanning—then widened.
He looked up at her, fast. "Ivy."
"What?"
He turned the phone so she could read:
🐣 Felix: I FOUND HER. 🐾 Back alley behind the bakery downstairs. She's okay.
Ivy's breath left her in one broken, shuddering sob.
"Come on," Seungmin said, already grabbing her shoes. "Come on, let's go."
The alley smelled like sugar and trash. Faint wafts of donuts and discarded cardboard boxes filled the narrow strip behind the bakery Ivy sometimes visited for midnight cake cravings.
And in the middle of it—
"Ttalgi?!" Ivy cried out the second she saw the small blur of fluff.
The little dog was perched on top of a slightly tipped recycling bin, tail wagging furiously, as Felix crouched next to her with one hand keeping her from tumbling off.
The moment she heard Ivy's voice, Ttalgi leapt.
"No—whoa!" Felix yelped, hands out—but the dog was already in mid-air, launching herself straight into Ivy's chest with an excited bark.
Ivy caught her, stumbling back with the impact, tears already spilling.
"Oh my god—you idiot—you stupid little dog—" she sobbed, cradling the trembling fluffball as Ttalgi frantically licked her jaw, her chin, her nose. "You scared me. I thought—I thought—"
Ttalgi made a pitiful yip and shoved her face into Ivy's hoodie.
Felix walked over slowly, his eyes soft now. "She didn't even make it past the block. Probably got distracted by the smell of muffins and just... climbed up there."
Ivy nodded wordlessly, too overwhelmed to respond. She held Ttalgi tighter, one hand fisted in the dog's soft fur, the other still trembling.
"You okay now?" Felix asked her, voice gentler than ever.
"No," Ivy sniffled. "But I will be."
"Then come here," he said.
She stepped into his arms, still holding Ttalgi between them. Felix wrapped her up like he had all the time in the world. His hoodie smelled like fresh laundry and a hint of citrus shampoo.
"I was so scared," she mumbled into his chest. "I thought she was gone. And it was my fault."
"It wasn't. She's a curious little menace." he murmured into her hair.
Ivy gave a wet laugh, then sniffled again. "She broke my bracelet, by the way."
Felix grinned. "The white clover one?"
"Yep."
"Tragic. But survivable."
"I'm still going to cry about it later."
"I'll cry with you," he said, then pulled back enough to look at her. "You did the right thing. You stayed calm. You called for help. You didn't waste time blaming yourself."
"I did blame myself."
"Yeah, but after calling for help. That's what matters."
Ttalgi sneezed between them, unimpressed by the human sentiment.
Felix scratched behind her ears. "Welcome back, strawberry."
Ivy looked down at her fluffball, then back at Felix.
"Can we both agree we're never letting her walk leash-free ever again?"
"Never," he promised.
Then he leaned in and kissed Ivy's temple—warm and firm and grounding. "Let's go home."
Back at the dorm, the boys applauded like Ttalgi had returned from war. Minho rolled his eyes but gave her a pat. Jeongin offered her a mini slice of banana bread from the kitchen as a peace offering. Seungmin muttered, "Little rat gave us all a heart attack."
But when Ivy curled up on the couch, Ttalgi in her lap and Felix's hand resting on her knee, she let herself breathe again for the first time in hours.
Because her little family was whole.
And sometimes, even chaos comes back home.
~
The studio lights were bright and hot, bouncing off the mirrors as Ivy stood alone in front of them. Her hair was tied into a high, messy ponytail, sweat already darkening the collar of her cropped tank. The others had gone to get water, but Ivy lingered behind, replaying the choreography in her head.
That one solo move — the slow turn into a dramatic shoulder roll and drop to the floor — wasn't clicking. She could feel it wasn't clean, and it was bugging her like an itch under the skin.
For once, pride didn't win.
She spotted Yoo Haein near the speaker rack, setting up for the next run. The last week had been... surprisingly chill. After their apology dinner and a few shared memes, things had thawed. Ivy still had her guard up — but Haein hadn't tried to fix her or talk down to her again.
"Unnie," Ivy called.
Haein turned, brows raised. Ivy rarely asked anyone for help.
"I need a second pair of eyes. That floor drop looks awkward on camera. Can you watch me do it?"
There was a beat of surprise, but no hesitation. "Sure."
Ivy nodded, reset her stance, counted herself in under her breath.
Haein watched carefully as Ivy moved. The sharp spin was there, the drop timed well — but she was right. It looked technically sound, but lacked fluidity in transition.
"Your back leg's too tense when you pivot. You're leading with power instead of flow," Haein said, stepping in without touching her. "Think of it like a brushstroke, not a hammer."
"Okay, Bob Ross," Ivy muttered, but adjusted.
"Try it again. Slower."
They worked for twenty minutes straight, falling into a surprisingly smooth rhythm. Ivy wasn't used to being corrected this way — not harsh, not patronizing. Just... collaborative.
Haein didn't rush her. Didn't overload her with critiques. When Ivy nailed it the third time, they both lit up.
"There it is," Haein said, clapping once. "See? Brushstroke."
Ivy, breathless and sweating, laughed. "Okay. You're kinda useful."
The studio door opened with a loud creak.
"I BRING BUBBLE TEA AND JUDGMENT," Minji declared, walking in with three drinks in hand and sunglasses on despite being indoors.
"You're a gift," Ivy said immediately, taking hers.
"You're both working hard. I got taro for you," she handed Haein hers with a grin. "Don't say I never loved you."
"Wait," Ivy blinked, looking between them. "How do you even know what flavor she likes?"
Minji smirked. "She told me. Yesterday."
Ivy narrowed her eyes. "Am I being replaced?"
"Bold of you to assume you were ever first," Minji said dramatically, then plopped down on the floor to sip her drink like a gremlin.
The three of them ended up sitting on the floor, stretched out and exhausted. The conversation drifted from choreography to Netflix recs to makeup fails. Somehow, it didn't feel awkward. It felt... nice.
"Group chat time," Minji said suddenly, opening her phone. "Name ideas?"
"No," Ivy said immediately.
"Yes," Minji countered, typing away.
A second later, Ivy's phone buzzed.
Group Chat Created: "minji is great"
Members: Ivy, Yoo Haein, Minji
"I hate you," Ivy said.
"You love me," Minji said, unbothered.
Then, seconds later, Haein dropped the first meme into the chat: a blurry cat flopping dramatically to the floor, captioned "me after doing one (1) dance move".
Ivy choked on her boba laughing.
"Okay... that's a good start," she muttered, saving the meme.
Later that night, Felix noticed Ivy scrolling through her phone, smiling.
"New meme dump?" he asked, peeking over.
"Sort of," Ivy said, handing it to him.
He raised a brow. "'minji is great'?"
Ivy groaned. "Don't judge me."
Felix kissed her temple. "Never. But I'm stealing that cat meme."
"Good. I already sent it to the group chat."
minji is great
minji joined the chat
Minji 🖤
i just saw a guy at the gym who looks like hyunjin if he was 5% less dramatic
ivy, and haein joined the chat
Haein 🐣
So... not Hyunjin at all?
Ivy 🍓
not possible. hyunjin invented drama.
Minji 🖤
he'd cry if u told him that
Ivy 🍓
he has cried because i told him that.
Haein 🐣
yall i'm at practice and i just kicked my own ankle
Ivy 🍓
how. how does one do that.
Minji 🖤
she's talented.
Haein 🐣
sends photo of her sock with a dramatic "battle wound" circle drawn in pink pen
Minji 🖤
ivy take her to war with you next time you fight staff
Ivy 🍓
lmfao shut up i was RIGHT and u know it
Minji 🖤
oh you were right. but you were also terrifying.
Haein 🐣
a girlboss moment
Minji 🖤
a girlBOSS moment™️
Ivy 🍓
shut up or i'll rename this chat to "haein's ankle vs ivy's anger"
Minji 🖤
DO IT.
Group Chat Name Changed:
"haein's ankle vs ivy's anger"
Minji 🖤
ok real talk
are we doing boba run tomorrow or nah
Haein 🐣
depends. will Minji cry if they don't have brown sugar pearls again?
Minji 🖤
i cried ONE TIME
Ivy 🍓
nah babe you sobbed
Minji 🖤
betrayed by carbs and dairy. it's traumatic.
Ivy 🍓
also haein ur meme game improved lately
Haein 🐣
i study from the best
Minji 🖤
which is???
Haein 🐣
jeongin's finsta
Ivy 🍓
deadass
Minji 🖤
yeah okay. valid.
Ivy 🍓
sends selfie of her lying on the floor of dorm 1's kitchen
me. dying. because seungmin took the last honey butter chip.
Minji 🖤
justice for ivy
Haein 🐣
revenge?
Minji 🖤
i'll bring the glitter glue
Ivy 🍓
i love you guys sm wtf
~
minji is great
minji joined the chat
Minji 🖤
can i just say something
ivy joined the chat
Ivy 🍓
it's midnight. no
haein joined the chat
Haein 🐣
oh no. here she goes.
Minji 🖤
my boyfriend is so hot
Ivy 🍓
🚨 and there it is 🚨
Haein 🐣
every night at this exact time. like clockwork.
Minji 🖤
no like i was just brushing my teeth and remembered his jawline and i almost dropped my toothbrush
Ivy 🍓
didn't you say that last week?
Minji 🖤
because it keeps happening 😭
Haein 🐣
he has a dangerous face tbh. should come with a warning label.
Minji 🖤
right???? like imagine being that pretty. for WHAT.
Ivy 🍓
girl he's literally in a Stray Kids. of course he's hot. that's our job.
Minji 🖤
but he's MY hot. i win.
Haein 🐣
does he know you're having a fan meeting in here rn?
Minji 🖤
shhhh. let me have this.
also he's sleeping with his mouth open and i can hear it from the hallway 😭
Ivy 🍓
oh good god nostlagia hits hard
Haein 🐣
stop. STOP.
Minji 🖤
anyway
hyunjin if u see this i love you
pls snore quieter
Ivy 🍓
screenshotting for blackmail. thank u.
Haein 🐣
uploading to "moments minji regrets" folder
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