Molly's was the destination for her first meeting, she hadn't stopped since Hank had called her just a few days ago.
She didn't realize how much she missed working, granted this wasn't 'work' by any means this was more than that.
It was life and death.
Mouch had tried telling her she was being a bit overdramatic that the doctors weren't thinking that way and she shouldn't either.
Except that was all she thought, that little boy held a big piece of her heart and she hated to see him suffer.
She could see the guys from 51 huddled in the corner, obviously deep in thought,well as deep in thought as firemen could get.
They're weren't the brightest bunch, they did run willingly into fires.
"Hey hose heads! Shut yer yaps for like ten minutes and pay attention!" She hollered, Mouch turning a thousand shades of red, "Oh, stop Mouch. They know me"
Matt Casey laughed, "That we do" he held his pint in the air, "What's the latest on Ruzek's kid?" Matt and Gabby's little boy Asher played soccer with Dani over the summer.
"Glad you asked" she motioned for Mouch to kill the music, "I need everyone's help, little Adam needs you all" she spent the afternoon rehearsing this speech but now in front of them all she could feel herself start to lose it.
She was shocked when she saw Voight walk in the front doors, this was a bar he rarely stepped foot in.
Plenty of faces displayed the shock she was feeling, he spoke, "A kid of one of the guys in my unit needs all of us, I think we're all adult enough to put the past where it belongs and come together to help a little boy". He hated being the center of attention but it was a small price to pay.
The night carried on plans discussed and phone calls made, Gabby and Matt approached Trudy and Hank.
Matt cleared his throat, "What you said earlier, it was right. My guys are here to do whatever you need, my lovely wife too" he kissed Gabby's cheek.
"Yea, I talked with Hermann as Otis, Molly's is yours for whatever you need. We are also going to donate a percentage of what we bring in into an account for Adam and Kim" she was beyond thankful that her little boy was healthy. It had killed her and Matt when she had the miscarriage and Asher had been a surprise, a very happy surprise but one none the less.
Trudy grabbed Gabby's hand, "Perfect, we will have it here" she smiled giving Gabby's hand a squeeze.
"Have what?"
Trudy laughed, "The bone marrow donor drive and the fun festival, sometimes I wonder about you. It's bad when Antonio looks smarter than you" she quipped a twinkle in her eyes. She could see Matt fluster, "Oh, I'm just busting her chops, don't get your panties in a bunch Lieutenant Sexypants"
Hank shook his head, Gabby burst into hysterics while Matt tried to make sense of it all, "okay, I guess" he whispered before turning on his heels and searching out a bottle from the top shelf.
He needed the good shit after that encounter.
"What do you think about going home little man?" Dr.Miller asked from the door way, Adam's counts finally crossing the threshold that would allow him to go home.
Adam's eyes grew large, "For real?"
"Yep" he laughed at the amazement on his patient's face.
An hour later the discharge papers signed, a novel of instructions handed to her. All of her son's things packed up and ready to go.
She spotted one of her 'cancer moms' at the nurses station, her body language telling Kim all she needed to know, "Adam, you good? Daddy should be back up in a bit" she told.
"I'm fine Mom, watching Netflix" he said his eyes never leaving the iPad.
"I'll be right back" she told him.
She could hear Nancy's muffled cries, she gently rubbed her back, "What is it?"
Nancy had a sweet little girl named Mia, fighting relapsed neuroblastoma for the third time in her short four years of life.
She looked at Kim, "They discharging us, palliative care and Hospice is taking over her care" she was drained, if she didn't have an older boy at home she didn't know if she would survive the death of her daughter.
Kim released a sigh, "Nancy I'm so sorry" the words felt hollow, that nothing she could say would help Nancy and Mia.
But for the grace of God, go I.
That simple phrase echoed in Kim's head, "Please know that Adam and I are here for you, whatever you need no matter the time."
Cancer Moms were a close knit group, it was amazing the bond they shared. That in each of their darkest moments they found their best friends. Someone who travelled a similar path they had, someone to share the burden with.
The reunion between Adam and Dani had left both Adam and Kim in tears, they played happily all night and both crashed in little Adam's room during a movie.
"You want me to put Dani in her room?" Adam asked after turning the television off.
"No" Kim waved him off,"leave them together, it's too sweet to disturb" she wiped a tear that slipped from her eye.
Little Adam's arm draped over his sister's waist.
Adam pulled Kim against his chest, "That might be the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes, aside from you obviously" he teased as he kissed the top of her ear.
She ran her fingertips down his arm, "I spoke to Nancy today"
Adam thought for a minute trying to place the parent with the correct child, "Mia, right?" He was fond of the little girl, she had the most curls he'd ever seen on a little girl.
Kim nodded, "That's her"
"What did she have to say" Adam led them from the doorway of his son's bedroom, he wasn't sure about Kim, but he felt as if he could sleep for days.
He stripped down to his boxers, as he waited for Kim to come out of the bathroom, as soon as he saw her his heart shattered.
"What, baby?" He rushed to her.
Kim grabbed a hold of him standing on her toes, her arms wrapped around his neck her hands on his freshly shaved head, "Mia has been released to hospice, they don't think she'll last the week" her voice turning into sobs.
Adam didn't know how to respond, he tightened his grip on her. He pushed thoughts of little Adam heading down the same path from his mind.
SEVERAL DAYS LATER
Things in the Ruzek house were quickly approaching some semblance of normalcy, "Mom when does my next round start?" Adam asked as he picked through his cereal looking for marshmallows.
Until that question.
Kim finished putting their dinner in the crockpot and turned it on, replacing the lid before she turned to face her son.
"Next week" She told him, his chest exposed the central line dangling against his slim chest, no matter how long it had been there her eyes still lingered on it, wishing she could swap places with him. It was painful to see how apparent his ribs were, he couldn't have weighed more than fifty pounds down from the seventy two pounds he weighed before all this started.
"Are you worried?" She asked, they'd kept a very open dialogue with him, making sure he knew he could ask them anything no matter what.
Even if it made them uncomfortable or broke their hearts.
"No, just it stinks. I missed the entire hockey season, baseball season and now football too" he pushed the bowl away, "I hate being a sick kid"
"I know honey" she sat beside him, "it's not fair is it"
He shook his head in agreement, "Can we do something fun today?"
"Sure, we just have to meet Uncle Mouch and Aunt Trudy for lunch, then maybe we can hit up the aquarium"
Adam smiled, "Promise?"
"You bet!" She smiled as he took off down the hall, yelling for Dani.
Jay wiped his brow with the towel, Atwater had tossed him, "Hey, Sarge!" He called out to Trudy she'd never lose that moniker.
He could see the exasperation on her face, she blew out a breath and rolled her eyes as she finished talking to Adam's dad, "What now Detective Chuckles? Do I need to hold your hand?"
Jay ignored the childish nickname, "Is this where you want this table?" He had been told to move it three different times by three different people.
She checked her clipboard, the block had been closed to traffic. Everything was starting to come together.
"This the sign up table?" She questioned as she ran her pencil down the list.
"Far as I know" he told her pausing to take a sip of his water, they'd all been told that alcohol was off limits until set up was complete and the Ruzeks arrived.
She scanned the road, "Yea, that's fine." She spied the inflatables at the other end of the road, "want it far away from all the screaming children" she explained.
Everything had come together nicely, one end of the street the end furthest from Molly's was deemed 'Fun Central' complete with a bounce house, a massive inflatable slide, and an inflatable obstacle course.
Mixed in amongst the inflatables were different carnival games, a few craft tables, the CFD's fire safety team, along with CPD's own version of a community outreach team.
Every game played would result in a prize for the child.
A few food trucks lined the opposite side of the street.
She smiled as she watched the people filing in, they charged ten dollars a head, with a max of fifty dollars per family. Once inside everything was all inclusive aside from food and beverages those could be had by donation.
She pulled out the bullhorn "Alright, everyone one from 21 and 51' get your fat asses over here" she commanded them, she caught Mouch's glare from her peripheral vision, "what?" She asked her voice still booming through the bull horn in her hand.
Mouch reached up and pushed it down, "Sweetie, there are children here, let's not curse"
The groups arrived, Caleb sitting on Jay's shoulder, "Hey little Halstead!" Trudy smiled at him.
"Don't make eye contact son, look away" Jay teased.
"Jay!" Erin elbowed him in the side, "Caleb, tell Trudy hi"
He lifted his hand, "Hi Twudy"
Trudy smiled, "I like you a lot more than I like your daddy"
"Trudy, get on with it" Hank told her.
She cut her eyes at him, "Alright, Adam and Kim have no idea any of this is happening obviously you all know that. Roman, I hope you kept that mouth of yours shut" she wagged her finger at him ignoring his eye roll, "Severhoe, oops I mean Severide, I assume you'll be in control of the boot"
Severide smirked, "Of course"
"Good we need a pretty face to get these soccer moms to drop a little cash" she checked off a few items on her checklist, "I don't want anyone over the age of 18 walking out without filling one of these out and leaving with a kit" she held the forms up, "We have representatives from Be The Match here, please let them do the talking. Don't need the city of Chicago being sued because of one of your dumbasses."
Al joined them, "Ruzek's brother and sister in law are here"
Trudy checked her cell, "Alright, I've got a text from Kim they are on their way" she paused a minute, "Listen, I know I'm a complete pain in the ass on a good day, that I may have been a little extreme these last few days" she gripped the clipboard in her hand in hopes it would keep her from crying, "It's just little Adam is such a special boy and I want to do all I can to help him"
"It's okay, Trudy" Erin told her, one of the few who was allowed to call her by her first name, "We get it, we love them too"
Trudy laughed, "By them I assume you mean Kim, little Adam, and Dani, right? Because Special Sauce is on his own. No love here for that man, none at all"
Al grinned, "I think the lady doth protest too much"
Trudy glared at him, "Shut up Olinsky, it's your fault you know, if you hadn't pulled his cocky ass from the academy I wouldn't have had to put up with his shit"
"Dad, Adam and Kim just pulled in Molly's parking lot" Lexi told Al.
"Alright everyone, here we go. The guest of honor has arrived"
"What the hell is this?" Adam asked as he struggled to find a parking spot.
Kim ran her hand down his thigh, "It's crazy, it looks like some kind of fair or something" she remarked seeing the balloons and inflatables.
Dani smiled, "I wanna go in the castle, please Mommy!" She begged.
"We can't, were having lunch and then the aquarium remember?"
Dani began to pout, little Adam watched as her big brown eyes filled with tears, "Can't we just play for a little bit?" One thing he had learned is no one could tell the kid who had cancer no.
Especially his mother.
"Alright" Kim smiled, Adam finally having parked the car.
Both kids out in a flash, "Later Mom!" Adam called as he took Dani's hand in his and ran towards Molly's.
"Hey!" Kim started to go after them, Adam grabbed her hand.
"Let them go" Adam smiled as he bent down and kissed her neck, slowly working his way to her lips, after a few minutes and the need for air becoming undeniable they separated. He rested his forehead against hers, "I've wanted to do that all morning but one of them was always lurking" he laughed, "they're expert little cockblocks you know"
Kim laughed, "Don't be a jerk" she grabbed his arm, "let's go find the little cockblockers"
They turned the corner, and stopped in their tracks.
"Holy shit" Adam muttered as he scanned the scene before him, "What the hell?"
Kim clutched his arm, feeling her knees wobble, she brought her hand to her mouth, "oh my goodness!" Tears filling her eyes.
A giant poster of little Adam hung from the front of Molly's, an appeal for potential donors appeared with it.
Adam snaked his arm around Kim's waist, kissing the top of her head and she buried her face in the crook of his neck. Both completely overwhelmed at what their friends had pulled together.
Adam was surprised to find Josh and Amanda on the steps of the bar, "Surprise little brother" Josh said as he hugged him, the black eyes Adam had given him finally having faded.
Adam choked back tears, "You...you did this?"
Josh curled his lip, "I'd love to take the credit, but it was her" he pointed towards Trudy who was deep in conversation with a rep from Be The Match, "and him" his finger moving to Hank who was doing his best to stay out of the spotlight of the afternoon, Caleb nestled in his arms.
"Wow" Kim kept muttering, Amanda and Josh both having hugged her.
"This is insane" Adam laughed appreciating the sunglasses he was wearing knowing they kept everyone from seeing the tears in his eyes.
"Where are Cory and Cannon, they here?" Adam asked for his nephews.
Josh looked over his shoulders for his teenage sons, "They're volunteering at one of the booths, I think Cannon is working with the daughter of the one or the firemen. Hermann I think was his name" he laughed, knowing exactly why Cannon was so eager to help out, "He's a lot like you, you know. The girls are constantly calling the house looking for him"
"Is that so" Kim smirked, "did the girls always call you?" She teased Adam.
Adam just rolled his eyes, "Hey brother I think I need a matching haircut" Josh shook his head, "getting a little shaggy, you know a good barber?"
Adam grinned, "As a matter of fact I do. I'm sure he can fit you in" he hugged his brother and sister in law once more, "we better mingle darlin', thanks for coming"
Amanda smiled, "We wouldn't miss it"
Bob had corralled the kids and found Adam and Kim as they made their way through the crowd, his own hair freshly buzzed, "Hey Son, Kim" Bob smiled as he returned both kids to their feet.
"This is all for me Dad, isn't it cool?" Adam asked as he pointed at the ever growing crowd, "it's amazing right Mom?"
Both smiled, "It is, hey Uncle Josh wants a haircut can you squeeze him in?" Adam teased.
"Yea, but it's twenty bucks for him" little Adam laughed.
"That's my boy" Adam rubbed his cheek, "only seven and he's hustling"
"Almost eight Dad"
"How could I forget" a hint of sadness in his voice, birthdays seemed scary as of late. Always fearing if his upcoming birthday would be his last. He always considered himself a brave man, willing to put himself in dangerous situations the kind most people ran from.
This? This brought him to his knees, the fear gripped him like a vise.
He felt Kim rub his back, he smiled at her, "I'm good" he whispered he was going to enjoy the day, and live in the moment.
"Hey Sarge!" Adam called holding his arms out for Trudy, "Come on, come give your favorite guy a hug" he laughed.
Surprised when she fell willingly into his arms, "Thank you for this, it doesn't seem like it's enough saying thank you. This is amazing, I love you" he whispered in her ear, feeling her start to cry in his arms.
She leaned back, "Oh, shut up" she laughed through her tears, Kim at Adam's side.
"Come on, just say it. Just one time" Adam begged.
"Ugh, I love you too Special Sauce" Trudy laughed, taking Kim in her arms, "you're the one I love, I just tolerate him"
"Nope, can't take it back, we had witnesses" Adam quipped as he pointed to Jay, Erin, and his dad.
As the day went on both Kim and Adam had been overwhelmed by the amount of people willing to be tested to be a donor for their son, or potentially someone else in the battle of their life.
They'd taken turns on keeping an eye on the kids, they'd left Adam with Cannon who was now running on of the game booths.
"Hey Cannon"Adam said as he tried to stand, "I don't..."
Cannon turned around just in time to catch Adam before he hit the ground, "Cory, go find Uncle Adam, NOW!" He yelled to his brother who was just a few booths away, surprised he was heard over the noise.
"Hey Adam, wake up little man" he was frantic gently hitting his cousin's face,so he was trying desperately not panic.
Cory scanned the crowd, the sun had set a little while ago and he was finding it difficult to find his uncle, he spotted a firefighter. He recognized her as a one of the moms from Dani's soccer team that he helped coach.
He ran to her, "We need help, somethings wrong with Adam, he fell or something. I'm not sure, please help" tears streaming down his face, never having been more afraid.
Gabby put her cup on the table, "Matt, find Adam and Kim!" She made eye contact with her husband knowing he had heard her request.
She found a crowd had formed around the booth, "Get out of the way, now move it!" She elbowed her way through the crowd.
"Cannon, right?"
He nodded, "Yea, please help him" he backed away so Gabby could look him over.
"What happened?"
Cannon stood up jamming his hands in his pockets, "I don't know. Ah, shit my dad is gonna kill me" he paced.
"Cannon, tell me what you know" Gabby checked Adam's pulse pleased with it, his breathing was a bit shakier than she would have liked.
"He said my name and I turned around and he dropped" he kneeled back down, "is he okay?"
Matt tore though the crowd, he found Halstead, "Halstead, where's Ruzek?"
Jay held his hands up, "Don't know"
"It's little Adam, somethings wrong. Gabby went to check on him"
Jay immediately put his drink away and started looking for Adam, he climbed up on a table and stole the microphone from the deejay, "Ruzek! Where are you? Get your ass down to the game booths it's Adam! Gabby's with him"
Adam felt the blood drain from his face, Dani asleep in Kim's arms, "Hurry Adam!"
"Gabby's with him" he reminded her, "I will call you" he said as he took off in a sprint.
Cannon was pacing outside the booth, waiting for him uncle.
"Hey I'm sorry Uncle Adam, I'm sorry" Cannon kept repeating.
"Where is he?"
"I'm okay daddy" he heard a soft voice, the best sound he'd heard in days, "Gabby fixed me up" he clutched a bottle of water in his hands.
"Breathe Adam, he's alright" Gabby rubbed his back, "he just fainted, I think he did a bit too much today"
Adam crouched down in front of his boy, his hand on his cheek, "You okay? You didn't hit your head or snag your line, right?"
"Nope"
"I've already checked the central line, it's good" Gabby told him, "your nephew caught him before he fell"
Adam looked over his shoulder, "Cannon, come here"
Cannon walked apprehensively over to his uncle, "Yea?"
Adam stood up and pulled him into his arms, "Thanks, it's okay man. He's okay" he ran his hand through his nephew's hair.
"I was so scared" Cannon choked out, bringing his t-shirt up to wipe his eyes.
"It's alright, bud" he kissed his forehead.
He picked Adam up, and draped an arm over Cannon's shoulder, "let's go back to Aunt Kim, I'm sure she's freaking out"
The heard the music stop, "Just got word little Adam is fine, guys! Severide is coming around with the boot let's fill it up one last time" the deejay called out applause filling the air.
"You sure he's okay?" Trudy asked as Kim checked little Adam out, "you're positive right, shouldn't we call a doctor or something?"
Kim grabbed Trudy's hand, "He's fine. Just tired, we need to get them home, Adam"
"Of course, just give me a few minutes" Adam said as he approached the deejay and whispered something in his ear.
"Hey folks, Adam Ruzek has something he'd like to say to all of you" he explained as he handed Adam the microphone.
Adam cleared his throat before taking the microphone, " I'm not really good at this, my wife is much better with this kind of shit" he started, "I'm gonna do my best though,as you can imagine hearing that your child has leukemia is one of if not the most terrifying thing a parent could ever hear" he glanced over at Kim, "It's been a long ride and we know we have long way to go. Having all of you beside us and supporting our boy, will make the road that much easier. I don't think I could ever put into words what all of this means to us, and all the other people fighting this awful disease. I pray we find a donor for Adam because of this, and who knows maybe someone will be a match for somebody already on the registry" he could see Adam yawn, "My boy's exhausted and if I don't wrap this up my wife may kill me" laughter filled the streets, "On behalf of my family, my wife and my kids I thank you all from the bottom of my heart"
He handed the microphone back to the deejay who quickly turned the music back on, the party atmosphere returning to the crowd.
They tucked the kids in, "Mommy?" Adam called from his bedroom.
"Yeah, baby?" Kim' asked from the doorway.
"I had a lot of fun today" he told her, "I felt like a normal kid again"
Kim smiled through her tears, "I'm glad, buddy"
He looked up at her, "Can I tell you something else?"
She nodded.
"I'm not afraid you know" he said with an air of confidence.
"Of what?" She asked as she sat on his bed.
"Dying. I'm not afraid"
She was blindsided, her heart leaping in her throat. She struggled to form a coherent thought, she watched as Adam tucked the blankets under his chin and his eyelids fluttered as he drifted off to sleep.
She sat there frozen in place, unable to move. Unwilling to move.
--Note--
Surprise!
I had a great morning early afternoon with my boyfriend who promptly passed out about an hour ago..
Most of this was written, and it was begging me to finish it off.
I hope you enjoy it!
I think I caught all the typos but forgive me if I missed some.
Also as you're reading this if you feel so compelled please consider donation (it's the new year after all! Tax deductible as well) to one of these amazing pediatric cancer charities
Gamerosity.com- they help get iPads to kids currently fighting cancer.
LoveYourMelon-they provide kick ass beanies to kids with cancer
St Baldricks is pretty awesome too, they have the coolest shave-a-thons (my inspiration for little Adam giving dad and grandpa Bob a buzz cut, who knows who else he may get a hold of)
And lastly, consider being a bone marrow donor
Go to BeTheMatch.org and consider it. It's painless and easy to do the initial swab! I've been on the registry for years, still hoping I will some day get the call that I'm a match for someone.