"Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."
-1 Peter 5:7.
"If Dunga plays Luiz as a CDM one more time, I'm gonna fight somebody." I muttered to myself while looking at the lineup that Dunga wished to use for upcoming matches. My feet were planted firmly on on the turf, awaiting the arrivals of the players of whom I'm sure spread the news like wildfire. I was not thrilled either. John was due to arrive as well with some coaching staff.
The simplest plan that I could concoct was to accept this fact and keep my distance.
I know that I don't have total control of how the trainings would go, but at least I had some control.
We were going to do things my way, even if it were only for a little while.
That means no more Sra. Gentle and passive. With my serious looking face bare, sweat pants gracing my legs and my baggy sweatshirt with my home city's name "Campinas" scrawled across it, and hair in an extremely messy bun: I was sure that they'd get the message.
Cause I wasn't faking anymore.
Of course I had ranted about all of this to a less than thrilled Gina, who was too busy texting to be paying attention to me on the other line. In the back of my head I made a note to call Melanie and Laura later.
The sound of a footstep on the grassy pitch alerted me. My head snapped up, and my eyes spotted Marcelo, who just had his hair done, I could tell. He smiled and I smiled back, I checked off his name on the attendance sheet. Pleasantly surprised that he was 30 minutes early. He walked towards me with a proud look on his face, wrapping me into a friendly hug.
"Thank you for yesterday." He thanked me, pulling away to give me a dap. I chuckled quizzically.
"Don't mention yesterday to me, Marcelo." I put my hands in pockets. "Why the thank you?" I asked him, kicking at the grass. The wind blew in my face, and I felt the warm breeze of an incoming summer while the reminder of Spain's upcoming winter sent chills up my spine.
"Making Vala angry." He stated plainly, looking at me from the side of his eyes. I laughed nervously. "You don't have to worry with me, I can't stand her."
"Why is that?"
Marcelo chose not to answer, just staring off into the distance. I liked him, he was a calm personality with outbursts of excitement. There was something off about him though, there was something off about everybody those past few days.
"That was bad of you." He smiled with his teeth.
"Hm? Bad, like 'baddie'?" I asked, making air quotes with my finger. Marcelo shrugged with a half smile. "Spit it out. I wanna know." I pleaded, crossing my arms.
"You've always been a baddie, just moreso than I thought." He complimented me, making me chuckle nervously. "I don't mean it like that you know."
"I know."
"Cause I'm happy with my family...and in my mind: you're still Neymar's girl." My eyebrows went together in worry. He playfully swatted my shoulder. "I'm sure he is gonna avoid causing a scene today. So no worries, Ana." Some part of me wondered which one of them had a long talk with Neymar about last night. "I'm gonna go and change. Don't forget; if any of the guys gives you a hard time, come and get me." He tapped his chest.
"Heh. Thank you Marcelo, but I think that I can hold my own."
And I was sure of that.
//+//
I sat down on the grass with my legs crossed, taking in the breeze, trying to wind down the 10 minutes until training. Marcelo, Paulinho, Danilo and Dante were talking animatedly in a circle as if they were teenagers. Most of the staff would be there within five minutes, and I was sat by myself. My fingers were planted firmly on the ground as the wind blew my stray bangs.
This is exactly what I needed to calm down, this is exactly what I wanted--just a moment to myself.
Except the fact that a little solitude was impossible to get nowadays. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Zico and Neymar walking onto the pitch. A sigh escaped my lips, acknowledging the fact that time spent alone was over. As if on cue, both of them looked at me, but Zico lingered longer.
"Morning." I heard Zico greet the players. "Morning, 'coach'." He greeted me from afar with a wave. I gave him a head nod with a why-are-you-talking-to-me expression written all over my face. "Did you tell her?" He mouthed at me. I batted my eyelashes at him, turning on my heel. Ducking into the tunnel, I pulled out my phone, trying to get quickly get my assignment done and over with once and for all.
Surely I had more than enough to write now.
My hands glided along the grayish and blue walls. My eyes skimmed along signs, looking for the locker room. In no time, I was there, and I picked a metal bench to sit on. The cool metal chilled my skin as I rested my head on a locker idle behind me.
A minute setting...with nobody to muddle my vibe. Perfect. I turned on music for me that was fitting for such a time.
In the blink of an eye, I was already typing away, stating the what could possibly be the hardest thing. Undistracted, my eyes stayed on the screen. That was, until I felt a presence behind me.
"I hate how everything is run for the men's national team...no wonder Marcelo fakes gastro--" I heard a raspy voice reading aloud. I squealed, elbowing whoever in their stomach. "Ow!"
Oh, it's just Neymar. Phew.
Scratch that sigh of relief. It's Neymar!
"I can tell that you've been working out your arms." He coughed, holding his belly. I pursed my lips.
"Anybody with twigs for arms will say such a thing." I teased him, going back to my assignment.
Did he know that I was here?
And as soon as he recognised that I was here--alone--why not just jet out of there?
"One day when I'm more muscular over here," he rubbed his tatted arms, "you'll never be able to bother me about these bad boys over here." Neymar flexed jokingly, making me chuckle.
On the outside, I was acting as if I couldn't care less about him standing there. On the inside, a part of me was begging to talk about last night...to clear the hidden awkward air of course.
Or maybe so that I could stop hanging onto that thin shred of hope--
Ugh!
He obviously doesn't care much about you or last night. I chewed on my lip, looking at him up and down as he continued reading my words. His eyebrows knitted together, as his eyes traveled to mine. I smiled but it didn't reach my eyes as the music played in the background.
"Ana..." the sound of my nickname coming from his mouth sent shivers down my spine. "Do you dance anymore?" I guess that I need to expect the unexpected questions now, but each of them hit me in different ways. "Kat's wedding classes don't count either." The mention of my poor oblvious sister made my eyes automatically go downcast. "Like, have you truly danced...?"
"No." My eyebrow perked up.
Shane hates dancing.
I love it.
As the saying goes: opposites attract...right?
Right...?
"Do you want to dance? That's a nice song that's playing." My eyes lit up.
I haven't danced in so long.
Except, this was my ex that we were talking about, whom I was just caught in a compromising position with. This was sticky...a sticky subject.
This was a sticky situation in itself. Talking to each other. Running the risk of having a mate of his walk in. At this point, the riskiest thing to do was talk to one another.
"Isn't Vala still mad about yesterday?" I cocked my head to the right, hoping that he'd get riled up and leave.
I didn't want to force anything.
"She talked my ear off. Called Caro and had her talk my ear off." He shoved his hands in his sweatshirt's pocket. I rose my eyebrow quizzically, but I looked down at my shoes, letting my messy bun unravel.
"Hm." I bit my lip, remorseful for the mess that I caused. "I better get going, practice starts in five minutes." I grunted as I stood to my feet.
As I began to venture off, his hand pulled mine. "You never answered my question." He informed me. I sighed, forcefully turning my head so that the hair in my face would go to the side.
"Last time I checked, I did answer you." My voice was prominent with an unsure tone, reffering to the Vala question. Neymar nodded in realization, hurt prominent all over.
"Oh." He blinked.
Believe it or not, this hurt me too. To turn down something that you used to love to do, with somebody that you used to love...or maybe still have some feelings for. I don't dance anymore. It doesn't fit into my schedule.
"See you in five." I grimaced at our exchange of words, before turning on my heel.
"You really have changed, you know." He called to me. I stopped in my tracks, astonished that he was still being persistent in talking to me. But why?
"Wha--?" I enunciated as a warning for him to not talk further. But rather than stop, he opened his mouth to speak again.
"You used to be so passionate--so wide eyed." Butterflies erupted in my stomach-- not the good kind but the unpleasant ones. The kind you get when you know something but you want to deny it as much as you could. It all hits you at once. "The boys walk all over you and you refrain from defending yourself. I see your fists clenching, why don't you ever do something? You were bold, Ana. Or has your new alias changed you that much?" As the music was still going on in the background, my heart was thumping.
My alias...what did he mean...what did he mean...
Did he mean that I proudly called myself Alana now, dropping the Amero and now being Andrade.
Because of everything he said. Everything he said was true. It's what Andrew was trying to drive home a while back, and I yelled at him for it. Well...I'm still me. Just a different mindset, with all that's happened; my career and all--why wouldn't I change? That was my moment to show him that I was still me, Ana with the Amero too.
I started towards him, as his eyes lit up in alert. In a leap of fate, I laced my fingers into his, and pulled him close to me. The position we were in mimicked one of how we used to be in whenever we would dance. His breath fanned out of his nose as I turned mine up to meet his intrigued look. Neymar's hand found the small of my back, mine finding the back of his neck.
"How's that for bold, eh?" I smirked forcefully, hoping to shut him up. Neither of us moved, but we chose to stop and stare as I unlaced my fingers from his. My hands were soon on my hips as I kept my stoic stare.
"There you are." He said in an almost inaudible voice.
/Neymar's POV/
There she was. Underneath her newly hardened exterior and gruff words, she was still the same bothersome yet unique being she always was when we met. With her arm round my neck and mine around the small of her back; I could barely think. She had that effect on me.
Maybe that's the reason why I couldn't think last night, and almost gave into the temptation of being near her, kissing her, being with her.
It wasn't worth the fight with Carolina, Rafaella, or Val though. Not at all. It was not worth having Davi ask me why his mãe is yelling at me on the other line.
Now that Davi was big enough to begin to comprehend a lot of new things, he never held back from expressing his worries and how he felt. Davi never thought much of Val, even though she tried her hardest to be like a step-mother to him. I just never could imagine myself marrying her--I mean, not yet. I think.
It's only been three-no, four months since I startee dating Vala! Too early to think about all that. And to think that if Ana never caught me with Gabriella, then we would have been married, or still engaged at least. That whole Andrew mess I was willing to put behind us, I just think that I messed up...big time with her.
As I my eyes bore into her's, I couldn't help myself but notice the twinkle in her awe stricken face. The want to talk about the night before really had a hold on me.
Dang, I've missed this girl.
Ana was the first to pull me away, and I pushed my bottom lip out in silent protest.
These feelings have always been there, and I thought I got rid of them through sleeping with a few girls to clear my head.
Obviously not.
Wait--what am I talking about?
Keep your head above water Neymar. We're exes for a reason.
Out of sheer curiosity, I was itching to know if she still felt anything, a single pinch of something about me. I doubt it, she has model guy, and I'm with Vala though.
Remember that.
My brain seemed to know that, but my heart didn't get the memo, especially when I saw her that night at the gala. I feigned a cocky attitude to throw her off, but she never cracked beyond her ruggid words, not once stooping to my level.
I was too deep in my thoughts, and I ran my hand over my face.
Ana brushed her hair out of the way out her face as she took a few steps back, still eyeing me. Looking as if she was about to belt out several things at once, the word vomit that she tends to spew whenever she's been holding something in for quite some time. The way her face screwed up as she physically tried to keep that word vomit down gave me an urge to laugh.
If she didn't tell me anything now, I knew that I wouldn't be able to focus in training. Just like my inability to focus on the matches whenever I know she's there, and that's pretty often.
Why did she still make me feel this way? After so long, after so little said...
It grew silent as her music paused automatically, and I shifted my weight from side to side, biting my tongue that was just about ready to ask her what I've been meaning to. Even Gil and Jo have been nudging me to, they sometimes knew me better than I knew myself.
Just as my mouth opened, her head whipped around to look at the entrance in which I came from. My eyes spotted that old guy that used to stalk her, and I tensed up. John was what he went by, I think. Today, instead of the normal wear, he was wearing a green sweater. My eyes were probably playing tricks on me.
"Ah..." He nodded, adjusting his glasses. His eyes went from Alana to me, as I inspected my roshies. "Come, come now, let's go." He snapped at Alana, and her eye began to twitch.
"Don't snap at me." She barked.
"My, my, aren't we in a harsh mood?" He took off his glasses and breathed onto them. "I already instructed the men to begin their laps."
"You? Aren't I the one to do those things?" Alana asked in a tone laced with attitude. My phone vibrated, a text from Caro.
From: Caro
"Don't forget to call my mãe so you know when to get Davi! I better not hear that Vala was keeping you from picking up your own son."
Then another right after.
From: Caro
"Be a man."
Thanks, Carolina, always at the right times.
"Now, now Alana, you aren't that important to any of this. Just a stand in." John said as he tossed his hand back and forth.
Alana looked as if she were boiling on the inside, just like she did when Vala had pinned her up against the elevator wall. She definitely matured, I thought that she was going to tackle Val to the ground. Whether or not I would've stopped her was another forethought for another time. I felt the initiative to go and calm her down before she did anything dumb.
"I am important, and no opinion of a stalker will change that." She retorted, before storming out, just turning back once to give me a curt nod.
John and I were soon the only ones left in the locker room, just glaring at one another. Anger rang through my veins, wondering why in the world he brought her down.
"Why are you here man? You made your legacy with Barça." I threw my hands up. "Just retire and leave her alone."
John's face went stern, I was bracing myself for whatever he was about to say. But he just bore all his teeth with a hearty laugh.
"Just making this more fun Neymar." He chuckled and my eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Either you go ahead of me or else I'll report you to Dunga for insubordination."
"The heck is that?" I quietly mumbled to myself, trying to busy myself with thoughts concerning the craziness of the board that was CBF. Maybe Duda could water everything down for me to a point in which I understand.
//+//
/Alana's POV/
I much rather be in my own training right now, or with my twin...or just by myself. As my eyes watched the boys go back in forth, one set attempting to defend, the other trying to attack, and another set trying to control the ball, I couldn't help but sigh. It looked exactly like a Barça training, minus Lucho with his colorful sunglasses. I couldn't fathom why Dunga would chose me of all people to lead this, much less the board. Knowing me, I thought it was all a conspiracy.
I know, I sound a little paranoid.
But given the past events in my life, why not? Just throw in a problem with my dad and you would've completed my weekly fill of secret set ups. Oh, and don't forget that interrupting in the locker room, I'm sure that John had his shifty eye on me and Ney. Neymar*, I mean, asterisk intended.
Once my eyes had enough of seeing montonous acts of training, I put my arms up to signal a cease. I waved them a few times before the men acknowledged me.
"Alright, I want you all to get into a line, please." I instructed them, a few obliged, but they mostly muttered. John had his arms crossed, shaking his head at me with his arms crossed, reminding me a lot of my dad. "It says that on instructions that Dunga left me." I half lied. They still stood there, looking at me as if I had three heads. Nobody said a word, until Denilson spoke up.
"I won't listen to no little girl who thinks that because of her name, I'll listen to her." A few men agreed hesitantly. I scanned the ground, trying to keep my cool. Trying to be level headed. "I'm not listening to no woman." It was a tense stand off until I heard Lucas laughing. My head whipped around to him. I found a football, and kept secure under my studs.
"You think that's funny?" My voice was laced with venom. Once he didn't answer, I nodded. "Thought so. Get in a line." I ordered them. And Lucas laughed again in a taunting manner.
"No." He spoke firmly.
"Get. In. A. Line." I spoke through gritted teeth.
"No." He said simply, and began to laugh. My blood began to boil as I clenched my fists. And I let my impulse get to me. I eyed the ball and then his nether regions. My foot power kicked the ball as hard as I could, the sound of foot to ball impact ringing through the training center.
It hit him exactly where I wanted, and I couldn't care less of what who thought about it, just seeing him rithe and moan in pain was enough for me. Mouths dropped, whispers swirled through the air, and nervous eyes landed on me. Neymar and Dani were heartily laughing, Dani nearly fell over, clapping his hands, giving me a thumbs up. I smirked, asserting my dominance. Even if it were for that moment.
"Get into a line." I barked, and they all obliged immediately. Even John looked caught off guard. "You're next." I mouthed at him. He looked taken back, and I gave Neymar a thumbs up back. "Okay! Let's get started, shall we?" I beamed, clapping my hands together.
//+//
I noticed that the guys were avoiding me, that didn't bother me much, just seeing Lucas holding an ice pack to his balls in the infirmary was pleasurable for me. I was packing up my stuff, when I heard Neymar talking on the phone. Marcelo, Dani and some others had come up to me with congratulations and many laughs. I just saw it as a way to show that I had enough. This was definitely going to the feminina group chat. I put a party dress that I packed to my nose, checking to see if Rebekah dumped her diaper contents on it again.
Yes, that happened. More than once.
"Filho, I'm coming soon. Now I don't want you pulling Julietta's hair again. Okay? Yeah, yeah." He paused. "Just in time for the match, you'll be there." Him smiling while talking to Davi made me smile too, reminding me a lot of Andrew and Rebekah. My face fell at the thought of him. Neymar was struggling to fit his boots in his carry on, and he punched the bag in fustration.
"Tell Davi I say hi." I whispered to Neymar with a laugh, and he looked pleasantly surprised. He smiled to the side, having his shoulder support his iPhone.
"Davizinho, guess who says hi?" He asked, and I can hear a bit of a remark from the other line. "Alana." Neymar beamed, and I could hear Davi exclaiming excitedly. Neymar's eyes widened. "You want to what?" He asked, putting his hand to his bare ear. "Uh..." Neymar looked from his phone to me. "Davi...that's kind of inappropriate." My eyebrow lifted as I brought my phone to text Andrew. I had no idea of the last time where I spoke to him. "Oh hi Mirian." Neymar looked at me once over his shoulder before going to the room adjacent, and I wondered what happened as I typed my message.
To: Bootycheeks (A)
"I think that we're cool now?? This is pertaining to Neymar. 👀"
I didn't even look up in the time that it took him to reply. A few of his mates came through the lockerroom, but I didn't pay them mind. A few of them pat my back as a goodbye.
From: Bootycheeks (A)
"How cool is cool"
From: Bootycheeks (A)
"👀"
Neymar walked back inside, biting his lip and scratching the back of his head. His eyes never left mine, and he laughed nervously.
"Remember how when I went to go pick Davi up, and that kinda of 'cemented' our friendship?" He asked with air quotes around 'cemented'. I nodded slowly. "Um--we should just be friends again because that's exactly what Davi wants us to do." My mouth slightly parted as I sputrered inaudibley.
"Won't Vala know?" I whispered, looking from side to side. In the corner of my eye, I saw Pato talking to Bernardinho in the center of the lockerroom, jamming to music.
"Won't you have friends in São Paulo?" He zipped up his carry on, that's where most of my friends were, at home. "Bring one of them back with you, it's a big game whenever it's Colombia vs the champs." He tapped his chest proudly. I cracked a smile.
But I couldn't help but wonder. Since when were we so cool and why did it happen without me knowing? What kind of blip is that? I slung my Adidas carry on over my shoulder.
"When are we leaving?" That was my way of agreeing to this weird request for friendship. Poor Neymar, Davi wouldn't let say no.
"In an hour or so."
Perfect time to call Elisabeth, screaming in shock and awe, asking what is going on.
Maybe life could let me peacefully wonder in the mystery for once.
Knowing that was almost impossible, I smiled, even if it were for a brief moment.
+*+*+*+*+
GOD BLESS YOU ALL! GOD BE WITH YOU ALL!
BY GOD'S GRACE WE HAVE REACHED 4000 READS! I THANK GOD FOR YOU ALL!
GOD'S WILLING WE GET 1000S MORE?
:)
Congrats barça on the double! God is so Good!
I am a proud mother hen with her 11 chicklets.
Sorry for not updating for 5 weeks (I promised a double/triple update so here you go. An insight chapter is next if God wills it! (I surprisingly missed those) (I updated five days ago but I had to unpublish and repubulish cause 抖阴社区 had an outtage and never let anybody know which made me mad lol.)
Did you like this chapter?
Sorry for not updating for a long time.
That motivation thing is happening again.
SooooOOoOo I have decided on possibly writing a new fanfic, if God Wills it.
I won't abandon this story, :).
I'm sorry for the sucky chapters, I know they aren't up to my earlier standards (DT). Love y'all.
How has your day's been?
God is Love!
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
¡Que Dios te bendiga!
Deus te abençoe!
Que Dieu te benisse!
God bless you all!
+*+*+*+*+*+*+
dominiqu