Chapter 15 - Like Father, Like Son
Voices swarmed my head. I wanted them to stop. They seem to be killing whatever brains cells were left in my head. Desperately, I tried opening my eyes, to see what was happening. But it was too bright. I shut them again.
The attempt to open my eyes wasn’t taken too kindly by my forehead, and for some reason it began to hurt.
It hurts
I thought. Almost immediately all the memories came flooding back to me. Instinctively, my eyes sprang open.
It hurts
The memory of me crashing into the tall standing mirror came back to me. The memory of the drunk monster who hurt me came back to me. I bit my lips, hard and harder until I could taste blood. Blinking numerous times to suck back my tears.
Was he around me?
My eyes focused on the oak planks on the roof of the room, slowly I turned my head to see where the voices where coming from. I needed them to stop!
“Darling, how are you feeling now?” a feminine voice cooed over me. I let my eyes form focus on it, I knew this lady. Squinting my eyes, I tried to have a closer look at her, trying hard to tap my memories.
Margret!
This was Margret.
“Darling, just lay back” she got up adjusting my pillow, “No dear, don’t stress your eyes, you have had a accident, stay calm, its just slight concussion”
“Excuse Me Miss” a new deep voice interrupted her, still baffled I looked for the source of this new voice. “I would appreciate if you let me handle my patient”
The voice belonged to a short, plump man I was certain I had never seen. His thick white mustache engulfed almost his entire face, letting just the experienced and serious eyes pass through. His potbelly, covered in sports attire.
Who is this? And why does he look like he has been snatched up from a golf course?
“You have a slight concussion, and a few open wounds even though some of them are deep, so you need to take care. You must have fallen into a mirror while sleeping, and passed out from the effect. I have bandaged your wounds, including a old one on the back of your leg. You should be good to go within 2-3 days” he looked at me, while his eyes suddenly softened. Then his pupils snapped back to someone behind me and he continues, “But I am sure this ‘injury’ was good enough to kidnap doctors off golf courses” Sarcasm dripped from his tone and attitude. While he might have been short, and small, I could see the defiant spirit in him, he was clearly not afraid of anyone.
“You will live” pausing for a second, “Mrs. Hamilton”
Those words, pierced right into my heart. I cringed inside, wanting to run away, Mrs. Hamilton sounded worst than swearing to me at the moment. I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the rest of the world. Trying to look at myself internally. I hated myself for this, for letting this happen to myself. For not being able to prevent it.
I felt something pinch into my arm, probably a needle, but I was too deep into my thoughts to care.
That monster had lifted me off the ground and slammed me into the mirror. Fear gripped my soul. This was a monster not afraid of using everything in his power, including his strength to establish his control.
This was a monster who would stop at nothing.
There was no low, too low for him.
I had let my guards down.
I had committed the crime of letting weighing him as a normal human
And this pain was the salvation of that mistake.
Never again
I vowed.
Never again, Never again, Never again
I repeated, as the slumber got the better of me.
The next time I woke up, it was dark. I could see the moonlight coming through the large window-cum-door in front of the bed. Turning to my better side, I slowly pulled my weight up. The beautiful scenery in front of me was pulling me like a magnet.
I noticed I wasn’t wearing my dress anymore, I was instead wearing a large sized creme shirt and shorts that reached my knees, which I suspected belonged to Margret. It must have been her who changed it for me too.
Carefully, watching my steps I walked towards the window. For few minutes I wondered what day it was, where I was, and for how long I had slept. But within few moments, my head was cleared.
Beautiful trees swayed lusciously, and the moonlight did wonders to the mountains and forest. I wondered what secrets this forest had hidden.
Lost in my thoughts, I failed to hear the footsteps behind, until a palm was placed on my shoulder. Instantaneously, my body stiffened, slowly I moved back to see who it was.
Monster!
The single word screamed inside my head. I flinched away from his touch. What did he want?
“Move away from the window” his voice, dripping with authority, reminded me of how he talked to the man in jail. This had the same authority.
A sarcastic laughter escaped my lips. I looked up into his eyes.
“Move away from me” I repeated in the similar dead tone.
“Not unless you move from the window Rosaline”, he repeated nonchalantly this time. Anger slurped through me. He really didn’t care. It really didn’t matter to me, there was no remorse, no guilt for what had happened.
Then again, was I really expecting that?
I looked at him, too furious to form words, to upset to think straight. I wanted to say something, to hurt him just as he had hurt me. No, I was not talking about the physical pain; I was talking about the emotional hurt. He had stopped to the level of violence, but it didn’t matter to him. He didn’t care. I bit my lips, stopping myself to do anything I would regret, like slapping him.
No, I couldn’t slap him, because that would involve me actually touching him.
Angrily, I turned my back towards him. Still looking outside the window, but the scene now was nowhere close to alluring.
“Rosaline. Step away from the window” he repeated very slowly. I knew his tone would have send jitters through my body yesterday. But today? Today I simply did not care. I bit my lips harder in an effort not to reply to him. In effort to ignore him.
“Rosaline” this time his tone was much harder, much louder, “You better step away from the window!”
“Or what?” I screamed, my efforts to stay quite went up in flames. And suddenly, just like that, the flood of everything I felt formed in words.
“Or what Mr. Hamilton, you would slap me? You would lift me and smash more objects into me? You would hurt me until I die? Guess what, Mr. big shot, I don’t care! Kill me, I don’t care.”
His eyes widened, shocked, hurt swam visibly in the liquid of his eyes. The sadness, the sadness again came back into his eyes. I hardened my heart.
No Rose, you will not let it get to you.
He looked at me for moments, and then suddenly turned around and began walking away. Walking away!
It didn’t matter to him alright.
“Like father, like son” The truth of the words hit me then. A cruel smile caught up with me, Like father like son. Somewhere at the back of my head, I couldn’t believe what I had just said, but I refused to let the guilt creep into me.
Then I did the mistake of looking up into his eyes. Just a few seconds ago, he was walking away, now he had turned to look at me. His entire body shaking, from effort to keeping him in place.
If I called him huge before, I didn’t know what I should be calling him now. Every single of his muscle flexed. I would his shoulders rising and falling. I remember, I should have been afraid. But no matter how much I tried searching for that feeling around, I would find it. It was lost.
I was lost.
Just then, charging like an angry bull, he reached me in two long strides. His eyes budging in fury.
As suddenly as he started, he stopped, one step in front of me.
“You said what?”
“Monster” I whispered back. But unwillingly my eyes dropped on the floor. No he did not scare me, but I could not bring myself to look into his eyes after what I just said to him. Nonetheless, he was a monster.
Next thing I know, his large rough hands pulls my waist to his torso, flattening my boobs against his chest. Shocked, I looked at him. My eyes flared at his, my eyebrows raised in aftershocks. I flinched at his touch, but his arm kept me in place. I couldn’t read his eyes, what was he thinking, was he mad. Would he throw me again for calling him like his father? Where would he throw me this time?
He used his free arm to grip my chin and pull it until my neck stretched back, until I looked directly at him.
“Say that again” he repeated.
I gulped, what do I do? While I mentally flinched form his touch, my body was another story. It began tickling. I tried looking left of right, but he pulled me further up against his body and bend my neck further more, until I had no where else to look but into his eyes.
His eyes.
I knew I should always ignore his eyes. I had a habit of over-reading his eyes. The very existence of my anger and fury was under question because once again I saw the lost hidden seven year old in those eyes. True that body was Hamilton’s, true that the strength was Hamilton’s, but those eyes, they still belong to that boy.
NO! Rose, you can not let that happen.
My eyes snapped shut at the order of my brain, trying to shut out his eyes. I could not risk it, I would not risk it.
And whist I was debating with myself, debating with my heart and brain, a sudden spark travelling through my body.
Shocked, I yanked my eyes open to see what it was. But I couldn’t see anything.
I couldn’t see anything but Hamilton’s lips on mine!
His sinful lips punishingly pressing against mine. My eyes slipped closed again.
My first kiss. Gone.
Sparks and jolts of electricity kept passing through my body while Hamilton’s lips punished mine. I put my hands on his chest in effort to push him away. My body could handle no more. But the didn’t seem to care.
Instead he placed his palm in my hair, touch it deliciously, moving his arms as though feeling every single strand of hair slips threw his fingers. Suddenly, he grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head behind, opening my mouth in process.
I was shocked, I was shocked at what he had done, I was shocked at my reaction to his primitive animistic action. But I did not have too much time to think over it, because his tongue invaded my mouth soon after.
And then my body melted against his.
I had no idea what I was doing. It was as though my mind switched off, and my body took over. Now carrying all my weight, he sucked on my lower lips. Nibbling
deviously yet deliciously on the plump of my lower lips. Then he pulled my lowers lips down, with his teeth, and came back again to invade my mouth, punishing me and yet exploring every part of my mouth.
Every part of me tickled. I hated my body for betraying me this way. Yet, I ached to find ways to get closer to him. My hands which moments ago were trying to push him again were now trying to hold for my dear life on the vast expanse of his hard chest. Slowing my hands traveled behind, and began touching his shoulder blades. Touching him while hanging on to him.
This was my first kiss, I was at lost what do expect what my body demanded me to do.
So all I did was to do a little of my own flick against his tongue. The result was more than what I bargained for.
Any control he had, he lost it. His lips began moving frantically against mine, not punishing anymore, but desperate. His arm which was securing my waist began moving in circles taking my shirt along with it. Once my shirt came up, his little innocent finger touched my bare waist, not so innocently.
He let out a growl before his arm which was holding my hair travelled down to meet his other arm at my waist. But it didn’t stop there, it continued descending, until his rough callous hands cover my entire waist.
Wake up Rosaline James!
His arms and the effect to his touch on my bare skin jolted me back to reality. Snatching my arms away, I became stiff under him.
As though sensing my withdrawal, he assaulted my senses more furiously, coaxing me to open, to move to be lost in his sensual world. I kept still, and after torturous hours it felt he stopped, sensing I was not giving up.
He looked up, with fogged eyes, letting me down, slowing and tortuously, until every single part of me slid down his body. He let out a growl again, as though in pain.
As soon as my feet were on the floor, I sprawled backwards not believing what just happened. What I had just done. What I had just felt. My head felt like it could burst open from all these emotions, these damn emotions.
He looked lost, like he didn’t know where he was, until I spoke to him, “Don’t touch me ever again” all the venom against him, and bitterness against my own body came alive in that on statement. That seemed to have brought him back to reality. He shook his head, as though trying to get back into the real world as soon as possible.
What an actor! He actually expects me to believe this actually affected him.
“Don’t ever compare me to that man again.” He warned, I knew he was talking about his father. “Do that and the results would be a thousand times worst than today”
“Don’t touch me ever again” I spit back again.
“That is a little hard to do” his lips pulled into a monstrous smile, “Considering you are mine” he said carefully. My eyes widened in shock. My brain refusing to process anymore.
Saying so he walked out of the door. Simply, like none of this mattered to him, like the events of the last 24 hours had no effect on him. It was just me, just me who cared, just me who was hurt, just me who was kissed him back.
My knees buckled and I feel on the floor.
What did I just do? Did I just kiss the monster?
Yesterday he hurt me, today he kissed him. Yesterday I let him, today I let him.
I hated him, there was not a morsel in me that didn’t hate him after what he had done yesterday, and yet! And yet I did what I did today. My life was a wretch. And just like that, suddenly I couldn’t take it anymore. Suddenly I just had to get away. My life depended on that.
My survival depended on that. I had to run, until the word Mrs. Hamilton could not follow me anymore.
And just like that, in the darkness of the night, in the shadows of the forest.
I disappeared.
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