The next morning, nothing was mentioned about the night before. Genma never tried to pry and find out what happened. Why I returned to him a soaked, crying mess. He simply held me as I cried myself to sleep. I really felt like I was using him now. I woke up before him and decided to make breakfast as a thank you.
"It was delicious. Thank you." Genma complimented as he dried the dishes he refused for me to do.
"It was my way of saying thank you." I smiled from my spot at his island.
"How about that date you promised me? As a thank you." He smirked, facing me.
"I do have some spare time on my hands." I mused.
"I get off tonight at 6."
"I can meet you somewhere. I'm not sure what my day holds for me."
"How about the place next to the dango shop?"
"Okay. At 7? Gives you time to shower."
"I'll see you then." He kissed my forehead. "Just lock up when you leave." I nodded as he walked out the door.
I still had to wear loose pants, so that's all I packed. I opted for a looser shirt today too. My body was still tender to the touch. I felt strange not having my ANBU gear on, but I didn't even know where it was in the mess that was my apartment.
*** knock knock***
"Enter." Tsunade's voice called out.
"Y/n. How are you feeling?" The mess on her desk was smaller than normal.
"Sore. Otherwise I'm okay."
"Take a seat." She gestured to one of the chairs near her desk.
"I wanted to ask you a few questions." I wasn't going to waste time.
"I figured." Her hands had the familiar glow as she ran them over my wounds. "You're doing good it seems. Just keep taking it easy." I snorted on the inside.
"What are you willing to tell me? No, that's not where I want to start. Who was or is on my detail?"
She settled in a chair close to me, we were facing one another. "Kakashi. Asuma. Itachi. Jirayia."
"That's it?" She nodded. "When did it start?"
"Hiruzen."
"Why?" She shook her head no. "Do you know why?"
"I can assume."
"But you won't tell me." It wasn't a question.
"I can't. Not yet."
"Who else knows?" She shook her head again. She was only going to tell me so much, so I dropped it. "Was I monitored after my time with Jirayia?"
"He was sent to check in from time to time."
"Why was I even sent out of the village?"
"Training."
"But I wasn't made to come back." I pointed out.
"Hiruzen wanted you to come back when you were ready." She was holding something back.
"You assigned Kakashi to me when I arrived back. Having me move in next to him. My 'pre paid' apartment."
"No. That was purely coincidence."
"The apartment?"
"Yes."
"So he was asked to monitor me."
"Yes." A physical slap would've stung less.
"And now?"
"No one is monitoring you."
"The future?"
"There's no reason to monitor you."
"I want a new apartment."
"Yours will be fixed in a little under a month."
"I don't want to be next to Kakashi. I don't want to see him."
"Why not?"
"I can't trust him."
"That's a little harsh." She gave a dry laugh.
"Harsh? Harsh is finding out that people you trusted and even loved were monitoring you. They were made to watch over you and be your friend. That's harsh. Thank you for answering my questions. If there isn't an apartment available in two weeks, I'll stay at the ANBU barracks." I stood and made my way out.
"Loved?" She asked as I stood at the door.
"I love no one." I said giving her my back.
"Bu-"
"You and Jirayia were like the parents I never had." I didn't wait for her to answer. I left.
—————————— Time Skip to Iruka
"Y/n!" Iruka held me close outside the academy.
I had waited for him to be finished with his day before finding him. "Thank you for checking on me." I said as he pulled away.
He smiled down at me, "I was so worried when I saw Kakashi standing over you. He was too."
"I'm still here." I said, ignoring his comment.
"You're staying with Kurenai?"
"Yes."
"Would you be okay with going out one night? If she wouldn't mind you being out late."
"I'd like that. But, you should probably know that Genma asked me on a date as well."
"Oh. Are you two?" I knew what he was asking.
"No. Just a date."
He grinned, "Then I still have a chance." He blushed at his own words.
I couldn't help but smile at him. "I was wondering if I could speak to you in private. If you have a minute."
"Sure. We can go into a classroom. If that's okay?"
"That'll be fine."
I picked up my pack and followed Iruka. I took a look around as I did so. It was my first time in the academy. Ever. The thought struck me strangely. He opened the door and allowed me to enter first, closing the door after us. I sat my pack down on his desk.
"Is everything okay, Y/n?" The concern on Iruka's face had me doubting myself.
"Well, yes. But, not really I suppose."
Iruka pulled me in for a hug and rubbed my back tenderly. "What can I do?"
"I have questions that might seem strange at first."
"Okay. Do you want to sit down?" He moved to pull away, but I found myself unable to let him go.
"No. Just hold me. Please." Did I always sound so pathetic?
He remained silent, simply rubbing my back in a soothing manner. I inhaled deeply and sighed. I didn't want to have this conversation again, and I would be having it now, and tomorrow with Asuma. I know what Tsunade said, but I had to ask Iruka myself.
"Were you ever assigned a mission that involved monitoring me in any way? Or were you asked to be friend me?"
Iruka pulled away slightly, looking down at me. His face was set in a stern expression. "No. I'm here with you because I enjoy your company. I don't know that we ever met before Lady Tsunade asked you to help me at the academy." Ah. That was her round about way of having him be friend me. He's too nice not to open up to me. "Where is this coming from?"
I stepped away from him and went to the window. I watched as a bird flew through the clouds and I was jealous at the freedom it had. Maybe I should've just stayed a traveling nin. I could've continued that life. It was lonely, but so was this. Who cares if Jirayia was checking in from time to time. Here, in the village, she could send whoever she wanted to be by my side. A mission or not, she could secretly be monitoring me. All she had to do was ask the right questions.
"Minato, Hiruzen, and Tsunade have all assigned missions to different shinobi to monitor me. Over the last 16, if not 19, years, I have been a mission to people."
Iruka approached cautiously, standing next to me. I felt his eyes on me, watching me. "You mean that you've been watched for your entire life?"
"Yes." I said sadly.
"Who- How-" He didn't know what to say.
"I found out after I returned from Suna. Kakashi was giving his report and the way he spoke about me- he was reporting on me. It just made sense after that. I confronted Kakashi, and then Tsunade about it. From what I understand, Asuam and even Itachi were on my detail at one point. I just wanted to know where you stood. I'm having a hard time trusting people at the moment." I answered him honestly, I didn't want to lie. Not like I have been lied to.
"I don't really know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. It's okay." I said, facing him.
His soft brown eyes held a swirl of emotions as he gazed down at me. "I'm here if you want to talk. About anything."
"Thank you, Iruka. You really are too kind to me."
"I'm only doing what I think is right." He replied.
"I should get going. I need to go see Kurenai before my date with Genma."
"Are you free this weekend?" He asked suddenly.
I smiled at his question, "I'm off for two weeks. I'm free."
"How about I come pick you up Satruday afternoon? We can go back to the hot spring. I'm sure you could use it."
"That sounds absolutely amazing."
His soft laugh had me grinning ear to ear. He really was just so sweet. "Is 2 o'clock good?"
"Yes."
"I'll see you then. Let me walk you out."
I picked up my pack and walked out with Iruka. As we reached the exit, he pulled me into another embrace. He pulled away slightly and pressed his lips to mine in a quick and chaste kiss.
"See you Saturday." He stated as he walked away, still facing me.
"Saturday." I repeated.
The man had the biggest smile on his face as he turned around and walked away. I was waiting for him to skip, he seemed so happy. I shook my head slightly at the thought and left the academy.
---------------- Time Skip to Kurenai's
"Coming!" I heard after I knocked on Kurenai's door. "Oh! There you are. I was starting to wonder if you ditched me for Genma." She joked.
"Well," I started speaking as I followed her inside, "I do have a date with him tonight."
"Really?" She glanced over her shoulder.
"Yes. And Iruka on Satruday actually."
"Do they know?" I knew what she was asking.
"Iruka does. I'm going to tell Genma tonight about Iruka."
"Let me know how that goes."
I followed her down the hall to the spare bedroom. "What does that mean?" I asked as I sat my bag on the bed.
"Genma has been pretty verbal about his feelings towards you."
"Really? And what has he been saying?"
"I just made tea, want some?"
"Sure." I followed her into her kitchen and took a seat at her four person table.
She started pouring us each a cup. "Obviously you know about the honeypot comment." I nodded, signaling for her to continue. "He keeps talking about how he was the first one to bag you. That he was going to keep you all to his self."
"When was this?" I asked, feeling surprised, embarrassed and angry.
Kureani sat down next to me, humming as she thought, "A month ago maybe?" She wasn't sure.
"Hn. He's slick, I'll give him that."
"You didn't?"
"Didn't what?"
"Sleep with him last night?"
"No." She sighed, "Yesterday afternoon." I smirked.
"Y/n" She scolded me.
"What? The sex is good. I'm only human."
"He's going to use you."
"Who's to say I'm not using him?" I countered.
"Are you?"
"Like I said, the sex is good."
"What if he doesn't want to share you?"She asked.
"It's not like I'm sleeping with anyone else." I pointed out.
"Yet."
"What does that mean?"
"I see how you look at Kakashi." She said suggestively.
"That ship sailed a long time ago. Besides, I can't trust him. Not any more."
"Is this about him and Asuma? They were talking not that long ago about you."
"Yes. Did they tell you anything?" She shook her head no, "They were put on my detail. To observe me and report to the Hokage. It just ended after I returned from Suna. That's what I was told anyway."
"You're kidding." Her shock was genuine.
"Not at all." I glanced to the clock, it was already 5:34pm. "I should change. I'm meeting Genma at 7."
"Will you be coming home?"
"Is that alright? I'll make sure I'm home by midnight, mom." I joked.
"I'm meeting Asuma for drinks. Come by the bar."
"Maybe." She looked at me curiously as I stood to wash my cup. "I don't know if it's a good idea. We'll see."
"Okay." She finally answered.
I headed to my borrowed room and closed the door. I sat out my things that I had packed away. These next two weeks were going to be ridiculous. And slow. I moved my things around, trying to decide what to wear. I didn't really pack anything for a date. I sighed, mentally kicking myself.
"Hey, Kurenai?" I called as I stepped into the hall.
"Yea?" She answered, exiting her own room.
"Can I borrow some clothes?"
She gave me triumphant smile as she grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room. The next 45 minutes was spent with me being her life sized doll that she got to dress. She was trying to find something that was warm, but that showed my figure. She finally settled on a pair of black capris that were a little loose in the thigh, allowing my wound some ease. The shirt she chose was long sleeved, but had slits up both sides, from waist to arm pit. The back was mesh, and the front exposed my neck and collarbones, but was modest in comparison to some of the other choices.
"Thank you, Kurenai." I called as I made my way out the door.
As I walked, I let my mind drift. Genma, was he sincere in his feelings? Or was I simply blind to a man's manipulation. I couldn't see the lies that were being told to me for the last 16 years. Who's to say I could see the ones being told to me now? I wanted to punch something again. I should've kicked Kakashi's ass last night.
The restaurant was in sight. As I neared, I heard a familiar cackle and cringed. Anko. The baboon of a woman was in the dango shop, who knew. When I walked by the dango shop, I glanced over, my curiosity getting the better of me. I stopped. Well, well, well.
"I guess our date is cancelled?" I asked as I walked into the open air dango shop.
"Y/n." Genma bolted upright.
He went to speak but I cut him off, "Don't bother. I know what I saw."
"You're not his girlfriend." Anko defended as she stood, hands on her hips.
"You're right. But, from the way he spoke last night... Well, that's between him and me. Isn't that right Genma?" I gave him a sickly sweet smile, closing my eyes even.
"Y/n, let's talk."
"I don't really think there's anything you can say Genma. Your words last night and actions now, they don't add up. It's fine. I've been made a fool of plenty lately. I should've known better than to let another mans sweet words tempt me." I could see Anko eye Genma, and then me. "You two enjoy you're night." I turned to walk away but Genma's words had me stopping in my tracks.
"I'm in love with Y/n." I spun quickly, just in time to see Anko slap Genma harshly. "I was wanting to keep you close, in case she rejected me." Another slap. I flinched at the sound.
"Fuck you asshole!" Anko yelled as she stormed off.
I was torn. He didn't actually say he was in love with me last night, nor that he loved me. But he just said he was to the biggest gossip in the village. Everyone would know about this. Everyone. Kakashi. I couldn't help but feel the burn of shame wash over me. I looked away from Genma, still unsure of what to do.
His footsteps were the only sound. The earlier outburst making the few occupants silent and focused on us. His hand lifted my chin to look at him. His senbon was missing and I wanted to simply kiss those lips. Finding solace in a mans arms wasn't the right thing to do. Especially when this man just confessed his feelings for you. In public. Was there a right choice right now?
Fuck it. I kissed him. The few patrons and workers all cheered. Genma and I pulled away and laughed, embarrassed slightly. "Let's go." He offered as he took my hand.
We opted for take out, deciding we did need to talk. Nothing was said on the walk home. We kept a small distance between us even. The kiss was simply an invitation for an explication. Saying I was willing to listen. As we walked, I remembered my date with Iruka and cringed. I'm a terrible person. I really am.
Genma held the door open for me and followed me in. He got everything ready while I used the restroom. The chill of the night couldn't seem to cool my flushed face. I washed my face off with freezing cold water. When I walked out, I found Genma waiting patiently for me. I gave him a shy smile as I sat down.
"What I did was wrong." He didn't waste time.
"I was wrong as well. I should've spoken to you in private."
"No, it's alright. I deserved it. And I deserved her slap."
"Slaps." I corrected.
"Slaps." He repeated. "But, at the end, I was honest. I didn't want to scare you last night, but now. It's the truth. I'm in love with you. You're perfect. In every way. I can't stop thinking about you when I'm with Anko, or any other woman for that matter. Even the year in between us first sleeping together and you coming home, I wanted to find you again."
"Are you sure it isn't just the sex?" It was a hurtful question, but it was an honest one.
"While the sex is amazing, I'm sure. But I'm willing to take things slow."
"Everyone keeps telling me that you'll just use me. That you'll just end up hurting me."
"I can promise you I am not using you. I can't promise I won't ever hurt you. I am human."
"I have a date with Iruka this weekend. I told him I had a date with you tonight and he still asked if I'd go out with him."
"I said I'd take things slow."
"And you're willing to let me date someone else?"
"Yes."
"And have sex with him?"
"Have you?"
"No. That doesn't mean that I won't though." He looked away from me. "Look, I'm not saying I will. But it doesn't have to be limited to Iruka either. Plus, I'm not saying that you can't sleep with other women. I wouldn't care if you slept with Anko. It was what you said last night that made me so upset. I was starting to trust you, open up to you. It felt like I lost that trust in an instant."
"I'm sorry baby." He pushed himself from his seat and moved to me. He pulled me into his chest, me still sitting. His arms were wrapped around my shoulders and he held me tightly. "I'll wait as long as you need for me to be able to call you mine."
"What if I just end up hurting you?" He let go of me and looked at me like I was crazy. "It's the truth, Gen. I could end up hurting you. You're basically saying that I can sleep with anyone, hoping that I end up with you. What if I just end up stringing you along?"
"Aren't you saying the same thing?"
"Basically, yes. But I'm not confessing my love for you."
"Yet." I rolled my eyes and smiled at his proclamation.
"Let's eat." I offered.
In the end, we ate as though nothing was wrong. Exchanging more stories about our youth. Our training and even his time in the ANBU. About 11:30, we decided to call it a night.
"Let me walk you home."
"Kurenai said to meet her at the bar." I sighed. I didn't really feel like going.
"I'll go with you. If you want to leave before her, then you can stay here." He offered.
"Thanks, Gen."
"You look nice by the way." Genma spoke as we approached the bar.
"I had to borrow Kurenai's clothes. I should probably say that Kurenai got to play dress up." I laughed as Genma opened the door for me.
I spotted Asuma and Kurenai sitting in a booth towards the back. "I'll grab us drinks if you want to head back there." I nodded at Genma's offer and cut through the crowd.
"He what?" The male that was in the booth, the side I couldn't see, asked as I stopped next to the table.
I immediately regretted my decision. There sat Kakashi. It was like fate was now mocking me. As though Kami placed Kakashi on a mission to be involved in my life. To be there every step of the way. Every turn I made.
"Y/n, I was starting to think you weren't coming." Kurenai spoke.
"I said I'd meet you here."
An awkward silence settled over the four of us. I had a suspicion I knew the topic of their conversation. And he was at the bar currently. Either Anko moved fast, or Kurenai told Kakashi about our date.
"I'm glad to see your out of the house." I faced Kakashi.
"Shouldn't you be resting?" He asked.
"Tsunade released me from the hospital. I'm a grown woman."
"You've made that perfectly clear." He snapped at me.
I narrowed my eyes, I opened my mouth to answer, but Genma cut me off. "Here baby. Sorry it took so long."
The second Genma's feet stopped moving he spotted Kakashi in the booth. There was now a silent stare down. "Thank you, Gen." I tried catching the brunette's attention but it didn't work.
I pursued my lips as I heard Asuma and Kurenai murmuring to one another. I decided I'd handle this myself, screw everyone else. I'd stay with Genma if Kurenai got pissed. I sat my drink down and snatched the senbon from Genma's lips. I pulled him into a heated kiss right smack in the middle of the bar. I had his vest scrunched into my fists and his hands were at my elbows. The sound of a growl brought me back to reality.
I squeaked in surprise as I was plucked from my place. I blinked, trying to make sure I hadn't gone crazy. Kakashi stood between me and Genma.
"Stop you two. This is pointless." I tried to move between them, but it was Asuma who stopped me.
"Stay out of it." Asuma scolded me.
I arched a brow, "Since when do you have a say in what I do?"
"Y/n." Kurenai sounded so desperate to keep the peace. It wasn't Asuma and me she should be worried about.
I sighed in exhaustion. I was over it all. Solitude was the best option for me. I unhooked my bracelet and squeezed it tightly for a moment. I stepped between the two jonin males and the both looked at me. As I spoke, I slipped my bracelet into Kakashi's pocket.
"Both of you just leave me alone. I'm tired of the drama. I'm tired of the back and forth. I don't need either of you in my life if all I get out of it is drama and heartache. Don't worry, I'll stay in the ANBU barracks until I get a new apartment. If I start taking long term missions, I won't get an apartment. Kurenai, I'll come get my stuff tomorrow. Good night everyone." Then I was gone.
I had a seal on my balcony door at home. That's where I went. It was in sturdy enough shape for me to sleep here for the night. I was figuring no one would try and find me here.
I peeled the clothes off that Kurenai and lended me and tossed them to the floor of my bedroom. I shook the comforter, trying to disperse the dust that covered it from the drywall. Once satisfied, I crawled into the bed only in bra and panties. I had a long road to recovery. Not really, it was only two weeks. It was going to be a long ass two week though.