Cara
I headed into the dressing room to smooth out my hair, reapply my lipstick, and clean up my smudged eye liner. I didn't want to make it obvious what Nathan and I had been up to, Noah didn't need to know. Nathan had already gone back out to the lawn, and offered to get a drink ready for me, I glanced in the mirror before I walked out the door for another once over, and noticed my cheeks were still flushed red. I dabbed a little powder on them to cover up the redness, and wandered back outside, trying to act as natural as I could.
Walking over to the bar, I saw Shannon and Rahim there, where they had been before. Noah was standing off to the side, Priya whispering furiously in his ear. As soon as my heels clicked on the decking, Noah looked up at me, his eyes felt like they were burning holes into mine. I could see the fury radiating from his skin. I glanced from him, to Priya, the grin on her face said it all, she'd seen Nathan and I. And now she's told Noah everything.
"Noah.. I.."
The half drunk glass of scotch in his hand suddenly shattered, as his fist clenched around it, sending alcohol and glass flying every where. Fuck. His body was heaving, his eyes brimming with tears, I'd never seen him like this, he was a dangerous combination of hurt, angry, and drunk. How angry did someone have to be that they could shatter a glass in their hand, just by how tight their grip was?
He was seething, I could see it all over his face. What had I done? I took a tentative step towards him, his feet were cemented to the spot. He didn't move as I walked towards him.
"Noah..."
"What's going on?" Nathan appeared at my side, and draped his arm around my shoulders.
"Not now, Nathan." I shrugged him off, my eyes still locked on Noah's. In my peripheral vision I could see the smug grin still firmly plastered on Priya's face.
"Priya, what did you say to him?"
"Wouldn't you like to know."
"Obviously, why else would I be asking?"
"You should know, Cara, privacy is seldom found in the villa, maybe you should think about that when it comes to your next, rendezvous." She flicked her hair over her shoulder and sauntered to the dance floor to join the rest of the islanders, who were completely oblivious to what was going on, the music had covered the sound of the glass shattering.
"Noah?" I took another few steps towards him, I'd seen how angry he could get, and I'd seen him snap, I didn't know exactly what Priya had said to him, if it had even been her hiding in the shadows. I had no clue what was going through his head.
He hadn't moved, I took another cautious step, and he was just out of arms reach. A few stray tears fell from the corner of his eye, and dripped to the ground. Disappearing in the splattering of scotch that now stained the decking. I was acutely aware of Rahim and Shannon's eyes on us, and Nathan standing just a few feet behind me. I knew, even though she'd walked away, Priya was watching.
I reached out to him, my fingertips just lightly brushing against his forearm. This, barely there contact, was all it took for him to snap from his trance like state.
"Don't you fucking touch me, Cara." He ripped his arm out of my reach, and spoke just loud enough, so only I could hear him over the sound of the music. His words felt like a knife had just been stabbed deep into my chest.
He pushed past me, making a point to bump his shoulder aggressively against mine, to the bar, reached underneath the counter and pulled up an unopened bottle of scotch, and stalked off inside, I'm assuming up to the terrace. I'd never seen him like this, my heart was aching in my chest, and it took everything I had to not follow him.
Noah
FUCKING NATHAN. I hadn't believed Priya at first, when she marched from the villa, heading straight for me. She'd pulled me aside, away from Rahim and Shannon, and said she'd seen Nathan and Cara disappear into the bedroom together. She had followed them, heading into the lounge crept silently up the straits, she had stood down the walkway to the lounge, listening, watching, so she could tell me she'd seen it with her own eyes.
I thought she had to be lying, there was no way Cara would've done that to me, not without properly ending things first. She wasn't that kind of girl. But then, Cara walked out. She had tried to cover it up, but I could see it in her. She always had a, look about her after sex. And I could see it, all over her face, her eyeliner was slightly smudged, there was a flush of red in her cheeks, and her hair was sticking to the sides of her neck, where her skin was slick with sweat.
I had felt my heart pounding, and the mixture of anger, confusion, and betrayal was seeping out of me. I hadn't realised how tense I was, until the glass I was holding shattered in my hand.
Fuck. How could I have fucking let this happen, what had I done to push her to this? She was everything I wanted, everything I'd ever needed, and now, she'd gone back to him. I took a swig of the bottle of scotch that I'd swiped from the bar and continued pacing the roof terrace. How could I have lost her so easily?
I was trying to get out of my head, but all I could see, all I could think of was his fucking hands on her, his lips on hers, their bodies together. The party was still in full swing downstairs, and knowing him, he would've dragged her back over to the dance floor and his hands will be all over her again.
"Argh! FUCK!" My toes were throbbing from where I'd just kicked the bench seat.
"Noah? Are you okay?" I turned to the door at the sound of a voice, it was the last person I'd expected to see, Priya.
I looked away from her, took another drink and kept pacing. My heart rate still hadn't dropped, I could feel it pounding in my chest, it was aching.
Priya shut the door behind her, and walked slowly over to the bench seat, I felt her eyes on me as she sat down.
"I'm sorry Noah, I really didn't want to be the one to have to tell you."
"Oh fuck off Priya, you told me you followed them in there, you didn't stumble across them by accident. You wanted to fucking catch them so you could come running to me and..."
"So what? Who cares why I went in there, I just got you the proof of what I was telling you, they've probably been fucking each other behind your back the whole time!" I stopped pacing and finally turned to look at her.
"No. Cara wouldn't do that, she's not that kind of person." I said, raising the hand that I was holding the scotch in, and pointed a finger at her, before taking another drink.
"How do you know, Noah? You've known her for what, not even a month? How do you know what kind of person she really is?" She stood up, and took a few steps towards me, reaching out, and taking one of my hands in hers.
"How could she do this?"
"It's like I told you earlier, I'm certain they planned this. The whole thing, I don't think he ghosted her. They knew that the public would fall for the story, they would come together at the end, and the public would be wooed over him coming in and fighting for her, giving them the best shot at winning."
She had come at me with a mouthful of conspiracy theories on our date earlier today, she'd made some very convincing points. But, how good of an actress was Cara, if what Priya was suggesting was true? I'd seen her reaction when he walked in, I'd seen how broken she was. It was too real. I shook my head at Priya, and as I did, I could feel the tears that had been building finally start to fall. How could she do this to me? I loved her, more than I'd ever loved anyone before.
"Come here." Priya took the scotch from my hand, placed it on the ground and lead me to the bench seat. As soon as I sat down, my body felt like it collapsed in half, and I broke down.
I found myself gasping for breath, through the heaving sobs. Priya's hand was rubbing my back gently, as my whole body shook with tears.
"I can't believe it. I won't believe it. She... she wouldn't. I..."
"Shh, it'll be okay, we'll get through this."
"I... I fucking... I lost.. Her."
"Noah, stop. Stop trying to talk, I know. You'll be okay, you're better than this, don't let someone like her get you like this."
"I love her, Priya. I love her so fucking much it hurts. And now..."
"And now I'm here. Noah, I'm here. You'll be okay. I'll help you get through this." Priya's hand left my back, and she squatted in front of me, grabbing my face in her hands and lifting it, so it was level with hers. My eyes were flooded with tears, so much that my vision was blurred, but I could still see the comfort in her small smile.
"I'm here for you, you'll be okay. I promise." She leant in, and pressed her forehead against mine, and before I realised what was happening, our lips met.
I don't know what was going through my head, but in that moment I needed what she was giving me, I needed the comfort. I needed to feel like I wasn't alone, like someone cared, like someone loved me.
I kissed her back, lightly, slowly at first, and it slowly grew more intense as her tongue parted my lips and swirled together with mine.
"Noah? What the fuck is this?" I pulled back from Priya, to see Cara standing in the doorway, her eyes and mouth, both open wide in shock.
"Baller..." she shook her head and turned on the spot, heading back down the stairs, and I slumped back into the seat as the door thudded shut behind her. Fuck.
Day 25
Cara
I woke up with a pounding headache, I hadn't even realised I'd drank that much last night. Most of it was a blur, after I saw Priya whispering to Noah, and him disappearing upstairs, I don't remember much. I had this blurry image in my head, of Priya and Noah on the roof terrace, but my memory was so foggy, I couldn't make it out. I don't even remember her following him upstairs, but she must have. I definitely saw her there with him.
Nathan groaned and stirred next to me, he rolled over and slowly blinked his eyes open.
"Good morning beautiful." He leant in and gave me a soft, gentle kiss.
"Please tell me your head hurts as much as mine?"
"Mm, not really, I didn't drink that much really."
"Ugh, I need coffee." I pulled the blankets back and started to get up, but Nathan pushed me back down.
"Stay there, I'll get it." He climbed out of bed, walked around to my side, kissed my forehead and headed outside to the kitchen.
I laid back down and squeezed my eyes shut, willing the throbbing in my head to subside, and desperately trying to remember what I'd seen. I heard, and felt the rustling of the covers, as someone climbed into the bed next to me. Nathan couldn't be back already?
I opened my eyes again and rolled over, and was surprised to find Lottie tucked up under the covers, her eyes staring at me, and a sly smile on her face.
"Morning babes!"
"Um, morning Lottie, what's up hun?"
"Mornin' love." Gary's voice came from my other side, and I rolled over to find him sitting on the edge of the bed next to me.
"Um, morning? What's going on?"
"Babe! I told you I got this!"
"Just let me say my piece Lotta, and then I'll leave you to it, he's my mate too."
"Ugh. Fine. Say what ever it is you want to say and then go get my tea, I told you I wanted a girl chat!" Lottie huffed, sat up against the bed head, and folded her arms across her chest.
"She doesn't need this, she's got enough going on, she doesn't need your opinion too."
"Guys! What's going on?" I sat up, and my eyes darted between them.
"We need to talk to you."
"No, I need to talk to you, Gary on the other hand..."
"Ah, come on, I just want to say what I think and then I'll leave you alone."
"Fine, go ahead."
"Tell me what you think about what?"
"About you, and Noah, and um, the situation that happened last night."
"What situation, Lottie?"
"Come on girl, you know Priya told everyone."
"Fucking Priya. Ugh, why can't she just stay the hell out of my business." I slumped back down, and pulled the covers over my head, I couldn't deal with this. I needed something for this headache, where was Nathan with my coffee?
"Well thanks to her, your business is everyone's business."
"Listen, Cara, I love you, yeah, you know that. But you've gotta sort yourself out, love. There's bound to be a recoupling coming up, and you need to work out what you want." I pulled the covers away from my face as he spoke.
"I know, Gary, I know, but my head's a mess right now."
"That's it, you've said your peace now?"
"What? No, that wasn't it."
"Well, go on then, I need to talk to my girl."
"Okay, okay. Look, Car, Noah's my mate, and I want him to be happy. He really fucking loves you, he told me that you make him happier than he's ever been. And I know he makes you happy too, and I want what's best for both of you. So if what makes you happy is being with Nathan, then whatever, you do you. But you can't string Noah along like this. If you're done, then end it. Don't tell him that you need closure, if you're done, you're done. I just want you both to be happy, and I think you'll be the happiest together."
"So you just want me to be with Noah because he's your mate?"
"What? No, that's not what I.."
"Babe, it's fine, I get it, you want what's best for him."
"Exactly, and I think you're what's best for him."
"Okay, you've said your piece, now please can I have my tea?"
"I just..."
"Please?"
"Ugh, fine." Gary got up and headed outside.
"Finally my god, so, tell me everything hun? How was it? Better than before?" Lottie rolled onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow.
"How was what?" My head was spinning, Gary was right, there had to be a recoupling coming up soon, and I needed to figure out what I wanted.
"Hun, the sex, duh."
"Oh, right, yeah, it was good." I shrugged, the look on Noah's face when Priya had been whispering in his ear was plastered in my mind, and it was all I could think of.
"Just good? Come on, that's all you're going to give me?"
"Sorry, my head's just a mess right now."
"I can see that, what would you do if there was a recoupling tonight?"
"Honestly, I have no clue. Nathan and I really reconnected last night, being with him again, it felt like, home, you know?"
Lottie nodded at me, but didn't answer, and waited for me to continue.
"But Noah, he's, well, he's Noah. I've never met anyone like him. We connected so quickly, and I just, I know feelings and emotions in here are magnified, so it's hard to know what I actually feel."
"Do you love him?"
"Nathan? Or Noah?"
"Noah?"
"Yes, I think so."
"And Nathan? Do you love him, or do you love the memory of him? And are you being sucked into the past?"
"I... I never thought of it like that. I don't know."
"Well, that's what you need to figure out."
This time, I didn't respond. I didn't know what to say, Lottie had a point. Was I just being drawn back into what I had with Nathan? The past. Did I just love the idea of having that again? He'd hurt me before, more than anyone ever had. Would he do it again? Could I trust him? Or would he run the moment it got hard? Even after he'd told me the reason behind it, his sister's accident, that wasn't an excuse for abandoning me when I needed him most. Did I love the idea of a future with him? Or was I in love with the memory of him?
"You want to know what I would do? In this situation?"
I gave her a small smile, and nodded.
"I would focus on the future. The past, is the past for the reason. Things didn't work out with Nathan for a reason, and I believe the universe brought you and Noah here together, for a reason. Your connection was instant, you told me you felt it that very first moment you made eye contact with him. If that's not a sign from the universe that he's the one for you, then I don't know what is".
"I don't think he'll ever forgive me though, Lottie, you didn't see the look on his face."
"Look, the way I see it, you didn't do anything wrong, you and Noah, aren't boyfriend and girlfriend, you and Nathan are in a couple. Technically, you haven't done anything wrong, but, Noah definitely won't see it that way..."
"I think something happened between him and Priya last night."
"Wait. What do you mean?"
"I don't know, I don't remember it clearly, but I saw them up on the terrace before I came to bed, but the only thing I can remember was how, I don't know, broken, Noah's face looked."
"What makes you think something happened?"
"Lottie, it's Priya."
"Good point, well I can try and find out what happened. But for now, you need to decide if it's Noah or Nathan you see a future with. And if it's Noah, you need to work out how you're going to get him to forgive you."
"I don't think he will."
"He loves you, Cara."
"I know, but love doesn't equal forgiveness."