Three weeks has passed since I last saw Ashton. He and I have been trying our best to maintain our relationship despite the distance that separates us. I say trying because it's not as easy as it seems. And not being in the same timezone makes it harder.
They say the calls, text messages or skyping sessions can make it more bearable but nothing equals being with your loved one. Nothing.
I've been having a good time with Charles and the rest of the team here in Los Angeles, recording my first album. I'm really grateful for having Charles as manager because not all of them let their young star write their own song and music. Of course, I didn't wrote this album all by myself, I've had a few helpers and collaborators here and there but the overall is my ideas.
My music video for Disconnected has been released and it made the single's and EP's sales grow like impossible. Talking about the music video, people have been asking about that girl - Selene - and if she and I are dating. Wow. People makes rumors with nothing these days. She's an actress who's been selected for this music video. It was strictly professional.
I'm starting my tour in two days and I'm very nervous. It's not a headline tour - not yet, my career just started - but I'm opening for another artist. I've played gigs before but never an arena show. This is big.
We're leaving tomorrow first thing in the morning to head to the first city I'll be playing in. I'll have lots of soundchecks to do and scene placement to make everything as perfect as possible for my first show.
I'm not doing a whole tour with the person I'm opening for, just a couple to replace their main first act till they comes back from Europe.
''Is your stuff packed for tomorrow?'' asked Charles from my bedroom doorway.
I nodded. ''Yep. Unpacking is not my thing so everything's still in my suitcase,'' I explained.
''Good. We don't want to be late and miss our flight tomorrow, it's the only one available.'' That's nice to know, thanks for putting more pressure on me.. ''Nervous?''
''A little.''
''You'll do great.'' He paused about to leave but turned around, facing me. ''And if you screw up, forget about it, tomorrow's always a new day.''
I love how positive Charles is. Whatever happens, he always see the positive side of things. How is he always happy? Doesn't he have bad days?
The man left, leaving me alone with my tour diary. I bought this leather journal while I was at the airport the other day and decided to make it my tour diary. I take this little notebook everywhere I go along with a Polaroid camera and make sure to capture every memories I feel are important to me or simply something I want to show someone whether it's my friends or boyfriend.
I not only stick pictures but write notes under the pictures I take and some lyrics here and there who were inspired by a precise moment. For the moment, there's only a couple pages that are fulfilled but as I travel, the pages will quickly get filled up with amazing memories just like parents do with baby albums.
As I lay on my bed, I took my phone and took a second to message Ashton of my out and about.
To: Ashton
Tour starting in two days, leaving tomorrow early
I put my phone down on the comforter and taking my notebook back, continuing to write under the latest picture I inserted. It was a picture with Alex from All Time Low. I went to their show last night in L.A. and we hung out backstage after the show. We had lots of fun. Did I sad we wrote a song together? Well, we did. It's was awesome writing with the ATL lads. They're fun guys. Such a good memory.
I didn't bother waitng for a reply. It must be late in England and Ashton is most likely sleeping seeing he has school tomorrow. And also because he has to share a room with his siblings. Lauren is older and doesn't have an early bed-time but Harry does.
Ashton and I had a long talk the other day about him moving out of the apartment and living in a shelter home with his family. He finds it hard to leave his childhood home but they had no choice. They couldn't afford it anymore.
He also told me about he and Harry's situation. They've been fighting a lot recently - since they've moved. I know I can't understand what they're living because I've always been a unique child and my family never struggled with money - we've always had this big house - but I try my best to understand the situation and help him the best I can. I've also never had to share a room except teh cabin I share with Michael and Calum but it's not the same, we don't live there.
Minutes passed and soon it was time for me to go to bed. I turned off my music and took off my headphone, putting both items on my nightstand and then turned off teh small lamp. I was already in my sleeping clothes - boxers and tee shirt because California is just like Australia - so I slipped under the covers and slept.
The next day, I woke up by someone banging at my door - something that oddly reminded me of home when my father would bang on my door for me to get up for school. I don't miss it, not at all.
''We're leaving in ten,'' said Charles's voice trough the door.
I groaned, not wanting to get up but reluctantly did anyway. I stretched and rubbed the sleep off my eyes. Once I was half-awake, I decided on skipping the shower because for one, I don't have time this morning and two, I won't be doing much today except soundcheck and other scene stuff and three, it'll save me lots of time.
I zipped up my suitcase after putting clean clothes on and I was out the door. Well, in the living room with Charles and his team.
''Don't bother with breakfast,'' he told me. ''We'll eat on the plane or after we land if you prefer.''
''Will the flight be long?''
''Shouldn't be. It's not like we're going overseas.''
I groaned. ''No sleep for me then..'' I sighed, making my manager chuckle.
''Come on, Mr Pop-Star, you'll have plenty time to sleep after soundcheck. It's not gonna take all day.''
We landed in New York at JFK around noon and I was surprised to see a few fans waiting for me at the airport. I tried to take as many selfies as I could but I was pulled by both security and my manager, saying I had to get to my hotel.
We quickly dropped our bags to the hotel and the car took us to the arena for the soundcheck. I was thankful no fans followed us to the hotel, meaning I'll be able to take a walk at night without being pestered by paps or fans. Don't get me wrong, I like my fans but sometimes, I just want a normal life.
After the soundcheck, I was dead tired and went straight to bed. I woke up at four this morning, give me a break and let me sleep. Minutes after my body hit the mattress dresses with fresh, clean sheets, my phone rang.. Fucking hell.
''Hello?'' I grumbled.
''Geez, I see you're feeling good today..'' sarcastically remarked my boyfriend.
''Sorry, Love, I'm just really tired,'' I explained. ''I've had an early morning and soundcheck was stressful.''
''How can it be stressful? You basically just sing a few lines and strum your guitar.''
''Hey! It's more than that.''
''Sure it is.. Where are you right now, like, the city. You told me you took a plane this morning.''
''New York. I'm playing at Madison Square garden tomorrow.''
''Really? That's amazing, Luke! It's really big. I'm so proud of you.'' I smile at his words. I love making my boyfriend proud. ''Will you come see me soon?'' he asked. I couldn't hear a single background noise, it must be late or early in England. His voice sounded so sad, I wish I could jump trough the phone line and hold him close and kiss him.
''I don't know. Charles hasn't planned to go back to Europe for a long time I think.. He wants me in the States, it's more accessible and practical.''
''Oh..'' There was a pause before Ashton's voice was heard again, this time softer. ''I miss you Lukey. It's so difficult here since you're gone.''
My heart cracked at the sound of his voice. I know Ashton tried to look strong in front of his family when on the inside, he's slowly breaking. He hates looking weak and showing his vulnerability but when it's just the two of us, he'll easily let his guard down and open his heart.
''I'm sorry. I wish I could come see you, even if it's just for one day. But I can't. I'm not the one making decisions here.''
''I know. It's gonna be prom soon. Will you be there? I know you told me proms weren't your thing but you told me the same when I asked if we were dating the first time. And look at us now, we're dating. Maybe.. I thought that maybe, you changed your mind?''
Not that again..
I ran a hand down my face, sighing. ''I-I have to go.''
Without any further words, I hung up.
I feel bad for hanging up on him like that but I couldn't say anything. I don't want to hurt his feelings but telling him I can't make it or that I don't want to go. Both are true and this tour is saving me because I have a show the same day of Ashotn's prom.
A/N Don't think I forgot about this book because I didn't! I wanted to re-read it before updating so I won't get lost in the plot. Writing long books is fun because you can deeper into the characters but it's also not because it takes so much time to write you sometimes forget what you wrote in precedents chapters.
Thoughts on Luke going on tour? Him and Ashton trying to long distance relationship thing? Will it last?
Thoughts on Ashton? Him asking about prom again? Missing Luke?
Please let me know what you think of this chapter in the comments below.
Also, please read my new books!!
Wonderland - Lashton
The heart wants what it wants - Lashton
English love affair - Larry
DNA - Lashton