"Can I slap you again? That felt really good"
"I guess I sort of deserve tha-"
You slapped Touya again.
"Alright, calm down (y/n)" he chuckled, holding his cheek and blood oozing from some of the holes made by those painful-looking staples on his face.
"I'm sorry... actually wait no I'm not!" You crossed your arms defiantly to stop yourself from apologizing. "How could you leave me like that?!"
You watched the crimson liquid drip down from his face, and realized that you might have hit him a little too hard. Even so, he still wasn't shedding any tears, and he seemed to be more in mild discomfort than in pain.
"I had to-"
"You know what?! Fuck you!" you yelled as you pulled him in for another hug.
"Good to see that you're still the same (y/n) as before" Touya didn't waste any time in returning your embrace, letting you squeeze him until all the air in his body had dissipated.
"Just... shut up" you pouted angrily, still not sure if you were mad at him for letting you think that he was dead, relieved that he is still alive, or concerned for him because of all those scars. "Just... give me a few seconds to process this"
"I-"
"Actually, never mind. Tell me everything. No, don't tell me anything, I..." you kept jumping from one thing to another, feelings and emotions all jumbled up.
"Ssh," he stroked your hair lightly. "It's... it's alright. I'll tell you what you need to know tonight, I promise"
You nodded, still sobbing a bit, but glad that he was here with you.
"I missed you, Tou. A lot. I really thought you w-were dead" you sniffled.
"I missed you too, (y/n)" he sighed, his chest pressing up against yours with every breath he took. The mere fact that you feel feel him breathing, that he was actually showing signs of being alive, was enough to calm you down slightly.
"You're not allowed to miss me, you amazing piece of shit" Your fingers made their way towards his hair, intertwining with the black strands and pushing his head forwards so that his face was smooshed up against the side of yours.
"I'll take that as a compliment"
"You're not allowed to take that as a compliment, either!"
"Ah, and who put you in charge of these rules?"
"The gods of compliments did. Now hush, idiot"
You both laughed weakly, and you held onto him as though your life depended on it. Out of nowhere, another wave of tears took over you, and he let you cry into him.
"F-Fuck, I'm-m sorry, I shouldn't b-be crying this-s much..."
"No, no, don't apologize. I put you through some awful shit, and you deserve to do whatever you need to"
"O-Okay" You rubbed your runny nose into his shirt.
"What the fuck? Grab a tissue, you crazy woman"
"But you're so much closer... and you said I could do whatever I needed to--" you whimpered, smiling despite the terrible state of your emotions at the moment.
"Well, fuck you too" You assumed he was grinning as well.
"Oi, who's there?!" A voice called out, and you immediately let go of Touya.
"Gotta get out of here" he said simply, and you nodded.
"What are you going to do? Pretty sure this is a one-way alley..."
"It is, fuck"
"Don't worry, I got you. Just go hide over there" You pointed to a dark corner, and wiped off your tears in hopes of concealing your little breakdown. "How do I look?"
"Like shit" he said bluntly.
"You couldn't sugarcoat it, could you? And then you wonder why the gods of compliments hate you" you rolled your puffy eyes, watching him hide behind some random object.
You looked around on the ground in the dimly lit alley for your mask, hoping that it would conceal your face enough to hide the redness, but not enough to leave you unrecognizable to the person who was coming.
Once you located it and tied it on, you had lost sight of Touya, and your heart clenched at the fact that he was gone and you didn't know where he was. You had to remind yourself that he wasn't going to run away again, but your body wasn't listening to your head.
"Hands in the air!" A man in a police outfit pointed a taser at you, foolishly thinking that it was a gun, or maybe just trying to intimidate you.
"Stand down, it's okay, it's just me!" you called out, hands still up because you knew that (h/n) isn't iconic enough for everyone to recognize you just by your voice and figure as a hero. "(h/n), sidekick to Hawks, I work under the Hero Public Safety Commission"
"Oh, (h/n)? Well, how about a hero license to back your claim up?" he sneered, and you made a mental note to send X out to "accidentally" make him trip over nothing and faceplant into a trashcan.
"I don't carry that on me" you explained. "Most people don't"
"..." he considered it for a few seconds, then lowered his weapon. "Sorry about that, miss (h/n). Ever since All Might fell, we've been getting more and more scum lurking around here. I'm just tryin' to be cautious"
You put the faceplant-into-trash plan on hold, and nodded to what he said. It was really tough for them, you already knew that. Quirkless people who couldn't become heroes get sent into the police, only to get laughed at, so you pitied the man a bit.
"Well, you have a good day, (h/n). Thanks for protecting the people" he tipped his cap, then turned around to leave. He was only a few steps gone when you heard Touya approaching from the back.
"You took care of that pretty quick" he remarked.
"It's called finesse, but I'm sure that's a foreign concept to you"
"Is that so?" he challenged, that smirk of his still on his face.
"Mhm. Anyways, we should probably get out of here"
"Agreed"
"Did we not already establish that you're not allowed to agree with me?"
"Unbelievable as always" he rolled his eyes as you grabbed his hand, fingers interwoven and pulling his damaged skin apart, slightly. "Ow, watch it"
"Shit, sorry"
"Nah, I'm just teasing, I don't feel anything anymore"
"Okay, edgelord"
"Edgelord?"
You cleared your throat, walking out of the alley and onto the desolated street, and put on your deepest, raspiest voice. "'I'm don't feel anything anymore. The world is dead to me. I can rip someone's skull in half with my pinky finger. I'm such a total badass'"
"I said one out of all those things, and who knows, maybe I can rip someone's skull in half with my pinky"
"If you could do that, I would literally get a tattoo on my forehead with 'Fuck me' in bold letters"
"That would be so sexy, actually. And is that how you think I sound?"
"Um, yeah. You used to sound like a squeaky toy compared to now"
"Once again, not sure if that's a compliment or not"
You elevated the pitch of your voice, and plugged your nose with your available thumb and index finger. "'That was a cOMpliMent'"
"I never had voice cracks like that"
"Do you want the truth, or would you like to remain in this little delusion of yours?"
"Sure, says McPimple"
"OI THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR!" you shrieked, smacking him square in the arm. "And that was one day that just happened to be picture day at school"
"You know, now that I think about it, I don't miss being kids" he concluded, and you laughed along.
"You're right, we were total fools. But at least you still had your dick in one piece"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
You faked a cough. "Ahem-BURNT-DICK-ahem"
"Sounds like you want to find out" he said suggestively.
"Ew, gross!" you giggled.
"Hey, watch it! I have feelings, and you're such a savage sometimes"
"1: What the fuck happened to your edgelord title? Do you want that revoked? And 2: Please be politically correct when you talk to me. If I'm gonna be a savage, it better be 25/8"
"If you think I'm an edgelord, you should see my band of emo fools"
"The... League of Villains, or some shit like that, right?"
He nodded. "Yeah, looks like we really went to both extremes, didn't we?"
"What do you mean?"
"(h/n)? That's a hero name, isn't it? And that police officer recognized it, too"
"Oh"
You couldn't say anything else.
An uneasy silence came between you as you continued to walk along the deserted streets, but you didn't dare detach your hand from his.
You didn't want to let go of him another time.
"Touya?"
"Yeah, still here" he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. He may have joked about it before, but he could clearly tell just how badly his disappearance scarred you.
"I wasn't exaggerating when I said I missed you"
"I didn't think you were"
"You're still my friend"
"Being downgraded from best friend status, damn" He pretended to be hurt by your words.
"Things like that happen when you fake your death and ghost me for 8 years" you pointed out. "And..."
"(y/n), what is it?"
"You're right, I am a hero now. And you're a villain, apparently"
"Are you actually a hero?" He seemed to be confused. "What about... everything? The stuff that happened with your mom, you knew what my old man was doing to me and my siblings, you-"
"Touya, you're hurting me, c-calm down..." you whimpered, and his eyes went wide when he saw your face.
He looked down to the place where both of your hands were linked, and saw that the shape of his fingers were imprinted in red in your flesh.
"It was an accident, you didn't mean to activate your quirk, I get that you're angry--"
"No, that's..." he just kept staring at your hand, his brows furrowed. "I'm sorry, I keep hurting you..."
"Touya" You said his name excessively tonight, probably because it had been so long since you've had the chance to do so. You hooked your other hand's fingers around his, and was now facing him. "I said it's okay"
"You would always say that, even when things aren't okay"
"And do you know why?"
He still couldn't look you in the eyes, so you brought your slightly damaged fingers to tilt his chin upwards to meet your gaze.
"Because sometimes, even when everything's shitty, it's good to hear someone tell you that it's going to be alright"
You completely disregarded the fact that you were now standing idly in the middle of the road, and pressed your forehead against his.
"I'm telling you that I miss you because I don't want things to change" you whispered. "I don't give a fuck if I'm supposed to be arresting you or something right now, I just want you to stay with me. If you haven't already noticed, I'm a clingy bitch"
"Oh really? I couldn't tell"
"See, you're joking already" you smiled sadly. "Look, I want to know what you've done in the past while, but I also don't. I don't want you to think I'll treat you any differently, because I won't. I promise"
"..."
"I love you, and nothing you've ever done will change that. I just... I need to know. I need to know why you didn't take me with you when you ran"
Touya flinched slightly, and brought his head back as well as snatched his hands away from you so that you weren't touching anymore.
"I had to" he said again.
"Do you really believe that?" your voice broke slightly, and whatever happiness from before melted into this much, much more important discussion you'd been both anticipating and avoiding all night.
"What?"
"I said do you really believe that you had to keep it a secret from me? You know I'd never tell anyone else, and you know I'd do anything to help you. Help you... Fuck, did you burn yourself? Is that how you got all these scars? You know what happens when you overuse your quirk"
"You're lecturing me? Seriously?"
"I'm worried for you, what's so hard to understand? I just want... I want to know that you don't regret running"
"I... don't"
"You hesitated"
"I don't regret what I did"
"I don't think I believe that, but... okay. Fine, I... I'll stop asking. If you really think you did what was best, then there's no reason for me to get mad. Just please promise me you won't ever do something like this to yourself again"
"...Okay"
"Promise me" Your voice was much more broken than you'd hoped for it to be, but you didn't care if you cried at this point. You wanted to know that he would be okay, and that's all that mattered.
"I promise"
You let out a sigh or relief, then leaned your head on his shoulder and wrapped your arms around him again. "Good"
"Fuck, if my tear glands hadn't burnt up--"
"I know that you like to be edgy, baby, no need to prove it any more than you already have" you teased, and, just like that, everything was better.
You felt as though the weight of the world was lifted off your shoulders just by leaning onto his.
"You're not going to let that go, are you?"
"Of course not, Senpai"
"I'm going to murder you if you say that again"
"Kinky"
"That's it. I've been patient all night, but you've done it now"
You were just about to ask what he meant by that when he pushed you off of him, then leaned over. His shoulder pressed into your stomach, and he grabbed your legs with both arms.
"WHAT-" you squealed as he lifted you up completely off the ground, one hand on the back of your thigh to keep you in place.
"AH LET ME GO!!!" you continued to shriek, but he wasn't listening.
"The price to get down is one apology for calling me Senpai, and whatever compliment you'd like to throw in there will be accepted"
"FUCK YOU, DIPSHIT! PUT ME DOWN, PUT ME DOWNNNN!!!" You were thrashing around pointlessly, unable to morph into a shadow because he had picked you up, and thus being left defenseless.
"Still waiting" he hummed, pleased with your helplessness.
"I'M-GOING-TO-MURDER-YOU-TOUYA-PUT-ME-DOWN-AAAAAAAAAAH"
"Sorry, I don't speak 'Crazy'. You should teach me it, sometime"
"FINE-I'M-SORRY-FOR-CALLING-YOU-SENPAI-AND-YOU'RE-HOT-I-WON'T-DO-IT-AGAIN-NOW-PUT-ME-DOWN!!!"
"Oh? Wow, you gave in a lot faster than I'd expected" he chuckled, but didn't make a single move.
"I swear to fucking Spicy Chips if you don't keep up your end of the deal I will dismember you"
'Spicy Chips', the awful name you'd come up with during your first ever confession that fateful night of your last birthday with Touya before he "died", had become some kind of an internal joke that you'd just shove into any sentence when you wanted to joke, but were actually being serious.
"Oh damn, fine then" He did as you said, and, the moment your feet made contact with the gravel, you turned into a shadow, snuck up behind him, and smacked him with the back of your hand.
"I come back from the dead, and all you do is abuse me, that's tough" he rubbed the back of his neck, turning around to see you with your hands on your hips.
"That was a dick move" you huffed.
"I-"
"But, I'll forgive you, Senpai"
"You just said that you wouldn't-"
"FINGERS WERE CROSSED AHAH SUCKER-" you sprinted in the opposite direction.
"OI YOU LITTLE BITCH-"
You laughed hysterically as you ran away from Touya, who was faster on foot when it comes to a sprint, and you both knew it. You could have used your quirk to get away, but you were more interested in teasing him rather than actually beating him.
Surely enough, he tackled you in no time, and you were left a giggling mess as he restrained your frantic movements.
"Stop moving!" he ordered when you squirmed and writhed around in his grip.
"Never!"
Before you knew it, you were both stuck in some weird sort of tickle fight where you would try to tickle him, fail miserably, get tickled, and he'd just laugh at you.
Eventually, after a few intense minutes of this exhausting activity, he gave up and laid on the street, on his back.
You took a seat next to him, and rested your head on his stomach, unable to wipe the smile off your face.
"I miss watching you fail to figure out how to tickle me" he announced.
"Well, I don't" you pouted, and folded your arm up, waving it around as a sign to show him that you were waiting for him to offer you something to hold onto.
"Relax, (y/n), I'm not going to disappear, you don't have to hold my hand every two seconds" he complained, yet still gave you what you asked for.
"I don't care, I told you that I was going to get extra clingy. I'm still in shock, y'know. Meeting one's dead friend can do some interesting things to one's mind"
"What the fuck was that last sentence?"
"It's called maturity. Or wiseness. Wisdom? Eh, whatever you wanna call it. I'm a big kid now"
He might have been about to respond, but a honk startled both of you, and your reflexes made you fuse with the road, leaving Touya all by himself in the middle of the street.
Shit.
He got up slowly, putting a hand up to the person who seemed to be in a rush of some sorts, and he was taking his sweet time getting out of the way.
You wondered if he'd get run over.
The person in the car cut the engine, then climbed out, and you hoped that there wouldn't be some kind of fight.
Surprisingly, Touya shook hands with them, and then turned to both sides, looking for you. You took this as your cue to revert back and approach him.
"Um... Dabi, do you know this guy?" you asked cautiously, glancing towards the grey-haired man with the glasses.
"Oh yeah. Giran, this is (y/n). (y/n), Giran. We work together" he explained poorly.
"(y/n)? I don't think I've met you before" Giran said, offering to shake your hand as well, and you noticed that he had a firm grip.
If he works with 'Dabi', then he must also be a villain, you figured.
"Say, I'm heading out to my bar right now, you wouldn't want to come with?" he suggested. "It is the only place in the city where you can get a decent sake without the heroes on your back"
You pursed your lips together, not entirely sure of what position you were going to adopt tonight. Were you a villain for the time being, just because you were around Touya?
Regardless, sake sounded like exactly what you needed at the moment, so you hooked your arm with Touya's and grinned at this Giran guy.
"That would be great"
Touya leaned into your ear, and mumbled quietly enough for the other man not to overhear. "You sure? Things get a bit crazy there- Hold up, I forgot that you are already crazy, so fuck this, let's go"
You giggled, and he grandiosely opened the door of the car for you. "M'lady?"
"Such a gentleman" you sneered, stepping inside, and he was quick to follow by closing the door and entering himself from the other side.
Giran stepped into the driver's seat, and took a puff at a cigar that had been placed on the dashboard.
"I've never seen you around these parts, (y/n)," he engaged in conversation, and, thankfully, Touya came to the rescue.
"She isn't part of the League, she just sort of floats around, doing odd jobs" he said, glancing at you for a nod of confirmation that it was okay for him to lie, which you gave.
"Assassin?" Giran seemed to be baffled. "I haven't seen many of those in years. Say, you wouldn't need a broker? I'm sure I can easily find a bunch of people willing to pay top dollar fo-"
"That sounds great, but maybe not tonight" you said, smiling sheepishly. "Tonight I'm just looking to get piss drunk as fast as possible"
"Such an honorable goal, I must say"
You laughed politely at his joke, then leaned onto Touya. You had to make a mental note to remember to call him "Dabi" when you were out, since he obviously didn't want to reveal his identity.
You had so much to catch up on.
The faint glare of the lamp posts shone outside your window, and you got yourself so entranced in watching the world zoom past you that you hadn't noticed just how much time had passed.
"We've arrived" your chauffeur announced.
You climbed out of the vehicle, and Touya stayed back to have a few words with "the man that he works with". They exchanged information, and then parted ways.
"Sorry, I just needed to sort something out"
You snatched his hand and nodded in the direction of the club. "Sure, whatever you need, that's alright. So... drinks? Unless you're still a lightweight"
"A lightweight? Doll, I can assure you that I'm far from that" He seemed slightly offended by your claim.
"The last time we got shit faced would claim otherwise. You threw up all over the place, remember?"
"I was 14, and so did you" he countered.
"I drank the entire bottle of sake, not that pathetic sip of yours."
"I chugged that 'sip', so what's your point?"
"My point is that you can't hold your liquor, that's all"
"Let's settle this now" he pushed open the door, and you immediately felt the wave of sweaty heat and loud music smack you right in the face.
"Someone's feeling confident. Just remember that I'm not gonna clean up after you this time"
"You're the one who's acting all cocky, (y/n)" Touya pulled you by the arm through the cluster of dancing bodies, trying to shove them out of the way to carve out your path to the bar.
"Well, well, well, look who's back for more"
You both turned to the sound of the person who spoke, a figure with an excess of tattoos and the coolest hair you'd ever seen.
"Dabi" they nodded towards him, and you suddenly felt very out of place. The lingering feeling of not belonging was there when he spoke to Giran, but this was worse.
"I don't even remember your name" he sneered at them, and this caused the men surrounding the person to chuckle as well.
"Hm? Nothing at all? You don't remember... owing me anything? Or do you just rip off everyone?"
What?
Touya looked to them, opened his mouth, but then returned his gaze onto you, as if remembering your presence. That wiped the smile off of his face, and he begrudgingly reached into his pocket.
"Fine" he grumbled, handing them a wad of cash. "Now fuck off"
"You thought... you thought we'd let you off with just this?" they snickered, a sadistic look on their face. "No, I'm going to need something more..."
They looked at you.
"Back off, and don't get yourself into a fight you can't win" Touya seethed, jaw clenched. "I don't want to cause a scene in here, do you?"
They seemed to consider this for a few seconds, then nodded. "Alright. But next time I won't be so lenient"
"Bold of you to assume there will be a next time"
There was some sort of tension between the two, who just glared at each other for a few seconds. You tried to make yourself as small as possible and not get involved.
The stranger eventually turned around abruptly, and their men followed them out the door, dissipating through the crowd's presence.
"Hey, what was that?" you asked him, sure that you looked concerned.
"Nothing, forget about that fucker" he assured you, taking a seat at the bar now that there were no more distractions, then addressed the man behind the counter. "The usual. Two of them"
He nodded, and you decided to sit down before interrogating Touya further. "What's 'the usual'? A bottle of chocolate milk?"
"Hilarious" he rolled his eyes. "You'll find out, just be patient"
"Edgelo-"
"Shut up" He begrudgingly flashed you a smile, and you couldn't help but return it. When you got your drinks, he grabbed it and was about to down the glass before you stopped him.
"To Senpai not being dead" you tipped your glass towards his as a toast, but he just scoffed and continued his earlier motions by chugging the liquid. "Wow, so rude"
"I'm not exactly known for being a ray of sunshine"
You snorted at his answer, and eyed the liquid cautiously. "This looks awful"
"Just try it"
You got a brief flashback to a younger Touya coaxing you into eating spicy chips in hopes of watching you cave into the heat, and wondered if it was going to turn out the same.
"Fuck this" you said as you threw your head back and took a large gulp, all at once.
"Damn, that might have been a bit too much-"
"WHOO!" You yelled, shaking your head as if your senses had been awakened by the liquor and the burning sensation down your throat. "Was that Absinthe?!"
"Yes ma'am" Touya grinned, and you noticed that he was smiling a lot more now than he used to. You wondered if it was because everything was going well, or because things were going awfully and seeing you was exactly what he needed. "Try not to throw up, alright?"
"Oh, challenge accepted!"
He furrowed his brows. "Challen-"
"Bartender, I'm going to have another 10 shots of that drink we just ordered!"
"Wha-"
"Oh, and you're going to be paying for all of this, by the way. I don't have any cash on me right now" you giggled at his hopeless look.
"Did you actually order 10 shots?" He was in disbelief.
"Did I stutter?"
"Wow, I didn't expect that"
"I've had worse" you shrugged. "I used to drink entire bottles of sake in one night by myself"
"By yourself?"
"Actually, well, I was..." you hesitated in responding to him, explaining why you were crying while piss drunk at his grave all alone, then getting possessed by X.
"Hold up, you still haven't told me how did all..." you gestured to all of him, then the room around you, "This happen?"
"I'm gonna need you to be a bit more specific, (y/n)"
"You said you were going to tell me everything, so... tell me"
"In here?"
"Where else?"
"This may sound crazy, but perhaps somewhere a bit more private than here, where any literal stranger could eavesdrop on my life story and deepest darkest secrets?"
"That's a stupid idea, Dabi, why would you suggest such a thing?"
"Dunno, must've been some kind of a brainfart. It's exhausting to be this smart all the time, if you know what I'm saying"
"I don't know what you're saying because I don't speak 'loser'" You chugged another two cups of that odd Absinthe mix with whatever other shit he had put in there to dilute/strengthen it.
The drink tasted awful, but you were too eager to get high, too ecstatic because of your reunions to care. Besides, you needed to beat him and drink all of them without showing any signs of getting high.
"So we're actually doing this, cool" He mimicked your actions, Touya's regular laid-back demeanor bothering you much more now than it ever had before.
"6 shots... won't kill us, right? How diluted is this thing?"
"Is someone worried?" he mocked.
"Yes, worried you're going to chicken out then leave me to get alcohol poisoning"
"Just shut up and drink" Touya wrapped his lanky fingers around another glass, and let you watch in awe as he chugged it some more.
The rest of the night passed in a blur; all your intoxicated mind could vaguely gather was dragging him to the dance floor, grinding on some stranger just to taunt Touya and see his reaction - which was to pull you away from the other guy and dance with you instead - and just dancing your heart out.
The best thing about being with him was that things never seemed to get awkward, nor would you feel forced to be with him. You lost yourself in the blinding lights and the blaring music, and just gave Touya the job to babysit the highly unstable drunk (y/n), who had gone crazy and let it all out, not caring about her dignity.
"Alrighty, breathing time!" you announced, pulling him out of the crowd and heading outside for some fresh air after inhaling the cologne of a bunch of sweaty villains.
"Slow down-"
He was shut up by the lamp post you accidentally dragged him into.
"(y/n), I said I was sorry, so please stop trying to kill me" he grunted while feeling his forehead for any signs of an emerging bump.
You just laughed at him hysterically.
"I'm.. ahahah, I'm soOooOo sor-ry, tee-hee"
"Damn, s-such a lightweight"
"Naw, I'm a total h-heavyweight champion of the world, HOORAH!" you flexed your non-existent muscles exaggeratedly, acting like a body builder.
"You're s-soo... drunk" he slurred in response.
"You're d-drunk too!"
"You're... drunk-er"
"B-Because I win at everything, I'll allow this"
"Do you also win at being the w-weirdest?"
"AAAH" You tackled him to the ground, feeling that it was the only reasonable course of action at the time.
"What the fu-"
You were now on top of him, noses almost touching, body pinning his to the concrete, grinning wider than the Cheshire Cat.
"Hiiiiii" You drawled out the word like a child.
"Hi" His signature smirk was on, and his face - or whatever was left of it - was flushed red from the booze.
"How are you, Tou?"
"Good, good. How about you, (y/n)?"
"I'm drunk-k"
"Are you?"
You nodded. "Mhm. You are, too"
"Ehh, just a little t-tipsy"
"No, you're super duper drunk!"
"Am not"
"Are too"
"Am not. You're the one who's drunk"
"You're drunk too!"
"You're drunk-er"
"This sounds awfully familiar. H-Have we had this discussion before?"
"Nope. Uhhhh, I dunno, maybe? Fuck, you're c-crushing my body, (y/n). Plan on getting off now, or at the next... stop?"
"Next stop" you affirmed, face leaning closer so that the tips of your noses were squished against one another. "You're a comfy person to sit on, you know that? It's a good quality to have, I promise"
"I should get a job in that line of field, I'd be the best sitter in the world"
"Silly, you don't sit, other people would!"
"What would that make me?"
"Sat-on...er?"
"That doesn't sound right"
"You don't sound right"
"Oooh, I got it: Seater"
"No, that's dumb"
"You're dumb"
"Am not"
"Are too"
"Am not"
"Are too"
"Am not, and that's the end of the discussion!"
"I just re-opened the discussion, are too, and now I have closed the discussion permanently"
"I got a magical spell to turn your 'permanently' into a 'temporarily', opened the discussion, am not, then snatched those staples from you and stapled the discussion shut. Aaaaaand you can't open it without summoning a demon who will eat your face"
"I can live without a face, that's okay. Now I'm going to go to a work supply store, buy a staple-remover, open the discussion, are too, then I closed it and shoved it into the bottom of the ocean"
"Joke's on you because I have a submarine, fetched the case, am not, then I buried the discussion somewhere like a fucking pirate! Ahah, you can't find it because you're just a hermit crab! Oh, and also..."
You glued your fingers together in a line, and detached your thumb so that it would act like a mouth that is talking when you moved the thumb vertically, like a sock puppet. Then, you begun to eat his cheek with your hand.
"Nom nom" you added the effects, letting your naked puppet sock man pinch his cheek as if it were dinner.
"The fuck?"
"I told you that the discussion was protected by a demon that will eat your face" you casually explained as you continued to munch at his face with your fingers.
"Your hand is a demon?"
"Shut up, you're being devoured"
"Aaaaah" he said unenthusiastically, eyelids hovering dangerously low to closure.
"Hey!" You pinched him a bit harder. "Don't fall asleep on me man, you're the designated driver"
"Buuuut I'm drunk"
"Well, I'm drunk-er"
"Fuck you"
"Fuck you!" you countered. "...actually, I have an idea"
"Hm?"
"What if were weren't drunk?"
"That sounds like a good idea"
"Okay, so we're not drunk"
"Yeah, we're not drunk"
"Drunk? Never heard of her"
"Me neither, apparently she's this one bitch who eats toenails"
"Really? I heard that she likes to lick people's faces"
"Like that demon of yours?"
"Oooh, thanks for reminding me, I still haven't devoured your other side"
Touya wafted at your hand as you continued to slowly pinch/massage/whatever-the-fuck-you-want-to-call-this his opposite cheek, but it was in vain. "Ugh, stop it!"
"I warned you of the consequences, Touya. Now, you must accept them"
"Fineeee"
You repositioned yourself on his body so that both legs were parted on either side while you sat on his hip, and you straightened out your back so that you weren't breathing directly out of his mouth.
"This feels oddly... satisfying" you commented.
"Can't say the same" he groaned, tilting his head so that he was no longer in the danger-zone, but you simply readjusted by following him with your little hand-demon.
"Want me to s-stop?"
"Yeaaah"
"Sure, you should've just told me, Tou!"
You stopped what you were doing, and instead softly patted his abused face.
"Mnnn" he exhaled, eyes completely closed and finally relaxing. "That's a lot better"
"Mnnn" you mimicked him, and rolled over to the side, off of him. "This is nice"
"Really... nice. Maybe we shouldn't have had all of those shots?"
"Maybe. Orrrr we could go back in and mellow it out with some sake?"
"Again with the sake. What is your obsession?"
"Current obsession is annoying you, and sake is waaaaay further down my list, so aliens wear purple hats"
He nodded, signaling that he understood what you had said, and sighed as he laid down comfortably on the ground where you were settled.
"We need to stop sitting on dirty sidewalks" he pointed out.
"Possibly. But it's so fluffy, I can't help myself" you replied, before curling up onto him and leaning on his chest. "Plus, you're my own personal pillow, so it's a win-win"
"You mean your seater"
"That makes no sense at all, idiot"
"It would make sense if we were drunk"
"It would"
"But..."
"We're not drunk" you both said in sync, then burst into laughter.
"No ma'am, we are not" Touya added.
"We shook on it, so it's official; on the night of the surpluple of februantamber, Touya and (y/n) were not drunk"
"No we weren't"
"No we weren't"
"No, we weren't"
"No, we weren't"
"No, we were not"
"Hey, that's cheating!"
"Bleh" Touya stuck his tongue out at you, and you giggled. "So like... since we're not drunk... do you want to tell me that thing from earlier?"
"What thing?"
"About the... uh..."
"Did you forget?"
"Just give me a second, I'll rememb- Ah! It was about wanting to know what the other person did for the past 8 years"
"Oooh, that! Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Do I go first, or do you wanna start?"
"Nah, nah, you start"
"Okay so... I've been doing basically nothing... a few odd jobs here and there, I guess, and visiting your grave, but then this one day everything totally went wacko! You remember X?"
"X? Your shadow, right?"
"Mhm. So she just possessed me that night and killed a bunch of people, but got caught by the HPSC, who were all like 'damn, this girl is hella fine, we can't put her in Tartarus' and recruited me as a hero"
"Those were their exact words?"
"Duh. Anywhozits, I was doing this weird intern thing under Hawks, and then I got my own independent position and title a few months back, and then I ran into you today, so yeah!"
"With... Hawks? Like the chicken bitch Hawks?"
"The same one as the one who was there when we I first realized that you were alive, uh-huh-- OH SHIT, I SHOULD PROBABLY LET HIM KNOW THAT I'M STILL ALIVE!"
You fumbled your fingers into your pocket, messily selected his contact and let it ring for a few short moments.
"(y/n)?"
"Heeeeeey Hawks. I just wanted to let you know that I'm still on patrol and will be showing up later tonight"
"Wait, you don't have patrol duties tonight-"
"Okay bye!"
You hung up, giggling like a drunk person would, and Touya snickered from beside you.
"What is that contact picture and username?"
"Nothing!" you squealed, shoving it back into your pocket before Touya could realize that there may have been any form of relationship with the winged hero.
No matter how many bottles of liquor you would drink, you couldn't possibly get drunk enough to think that telling Touya about your little dating situation with Keigo would be a good idea.
"Okay your turn!" You shuffled your body a bit so that you were laying down on your side, head resting on your elbow and facing towards him. You had some random urge to trace out his staples and scars with your fingers, so that's exactly what you did.
"(y/n), p...personal space" he slurred.
"Sure, you just gotta say the word and I'm on it, Tou" You moved closer and started drawing out some figures on his chest.
"I meant to give me personal space, not- never mind. I haven't done much in the past while, actually"
"Sir, I call cap"
"Hush, just let me answer your question"
"BWAHAHANFNJSJRISJERSEI"
"What was that?"
"Me not letting you answer my question"
He stopped looking straight up at the stars, and instead titled his head towards you. Damn, his face was extremely red, maybe having all those drinks was a bad idea.
"Can I boop your nose?" you asked.
"You'll do it anyways, so I-"
You messily tried to place your index finger on his nose, but ended up hitting his cheek.
"You missed"
"I'm trying!" You poked his nose again, only his nose was a sneaky little bitch and dodged it and you tapped the scarred region under his eye. "Ahh, stop evading!"
"I'll-l help" Touya brought his hand to yours, wrapped his fingers around it, and tried to redirect you for a proper boop.
"I'm trying to move left!"
"But we're supposed to go right"
"My right or your right?"
"My right, your left... wait, so we were trying to go in the same direction, ahah"
"Can't you just orient your face so that it's a successful landing?"
"No, 'cause then you'll poke my eye out"
"I won't!"
"Yes you will!"
"AAAAAAAH FUCK THIS" you roared, shaking off his hand and booping his nose in one swift movement. "I DID IT!"
"Hooray" he said monotonely.
"Now that you've been b-booped, continue with your story"
"Like I said, nothing much happened... I just went around finding the best way to expose the old man, then the League of Villains showed up, so..."
"What did you and the League do?" Now, you were drawing a flower on his chest with your finger.
"After I showed up? Ehh, we just kidnapped some brat, then got beat up by All Might, aaand then fucked with the Yakuza"
"Oh you meaan that... Over... Over-something. Didn't he get dismembered or something?"
"Yeah, Handjob went all crazy on him"
"Who's Handjob?" you inquired, wanting to find out more about his friends that you'd been replaced with.
"He's not really important. Usually gets pissed off at everything"
"Sounds like you two would get along great"
"I would smack you, but my arm isn't moving and I'm too tired to do it, so enjoy a mental face-slap"
"Ah!" you pretended to be hit in the face with an invisible force, and Touya laughed. "I've been hit. Damn, that was brutal"
"You technically smacked me with a lamp post, so I'd say we're even"
"Bleh" you stuck your tongue out at him, and he repeated your action.
"Bleh" Touya said.
"Bleeeeh"
"B...leh"
"You look cute when your face is all flushed like that" you pointed out.
"Ahah... even with the scars and stuff?"
"Especially with the scars, it makes you look cool and mysterious"
"I can't tell if you're buttering me up to ask me for something or being genuine"
"If I wanted something from you, I'd take it" you said as though it were the most basic fact of the universe. "But you do really look good"
"Thanks, doll"
"Well, fuck you too"
"Huh?"
"If you get complimented you return it, dummy"
"That deserves another face-slap"
"Sucks to be you, 'cause I dodged your mental slapping"
"Ugh, fine. You have a nice ass"
"Should I alert your League friends that you'll be dying soon for personal reasons, or do you just want to keep your death by my hands a secret?"
"What? It was a genuine compliment, I always thought you had a nice ass"
"You are a perverted, perverted man"
"Saying it twice doesn't make it true"
"Yeah it does, because... uh... two positives make a positive, so like you're perverted... AND you're perverted, meaning that you're positive"
"You're talking nonsense"
"Not my fault you aren't as fluent in gibberish as I am"
"Yes it is"
"No it isn't"
"Yes"
"No"
"Yes"
"Bleh"
"Bleh"
You giggled at both of your stupidities, and snuggled yourself onto Touya, hands pulling him in a hug, or as close as you can get to a hug given that you were on the floor.
"Do you think we should go back inside?"
"I still haven't payed them, so no"
"So we should dip?"
"Absolutely"
"Like guac"
"Pfft, okay, sure" he groaned as he tried to get up, but it didn't help that you were clinging onto him. "I'm pretty sure that this is your stop, ma'am, so if you could get off, that would be great"
"I would like to thank you for your admirable services as a seater, Sir Touya" You tried to push off of him to get up, but your legs didn't respond and you flopped back onto him.
"Oof!"
"Aaah, legs aren't responding. I guess we're stuck here"
"Nooooo, (y/n) get uppppp"
"But you're so comfyyyy"
"(y/nnnnnnnnn)"
"Touyaaaaaaaaa" you writhed your limbs around, to no avail. "I think I'm stuck"
"I am going to throw you off of me and it won't be pretty"
"Suuure" you said sleepily, making yourself comfortable on top of his body and getting ready to sleep. "Night, Tou"
"Wha-"
You went out like a light before he could stop you. Perhaps you weren't necessarily sleeping, rather just entering an alcohol-induced coma, but the fact was that you were now unconscious, and on top of Touya.
"Well, fuck, (y/n)" he hummed to himself. "Still the same as always, I see"
He couldn't help but smile.