The C.E.O'S shattered heart (MxM, C.E.O X C.E.O)

Chapter 10. Loneliness Part 1

"Good night, Zach!" yelled Zavier when he saw me walking towards my room. I just waved back at Zavier because I didn't feel like talking anymore. I took a shower then went straight to bed. I spent the weekend updating my website and completing the requests that I had received. Zavier was barely home during the weekend. He was busy planning his end of the year party. It was soon Monday, and I had to go back to work. I smiled when I saw the stack of files on my desk. James had left a note for me together with the files. He asked me to complete the projects in a week. I got busy with research and putting sales pitches together. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist, Axel, on Friday. I made sure to go on long walks and hikes to get rid of the stress.

I was surprised when I saw a gift card from a men's warehouse on my desk when I arrived at work on Friday. I could buy many expensive things with the gift card. Briac peeked his head from behind his cubicle, then said, "The gift card is my thank you gift to you, Zach. The men's cologne got sold out within a week. A few foreign companies bought most of them to please their customers. It was all due to the publicity stunt that you helped me pull. I appreciate what you have done for me. Take the card and buy whatever you want with it." I smiled at Briac, then asked him, "Are you secretly rich, Briac?" Briac looked in shock at me. I walked closer to my cubicle mate, then whispered, "Don't worry, Briac. I won't tell anyone that you are dating Chance Madden or that you are rich. I'm hiding many things myself. We are like partners in crime."

Briac almost fell off his chair in shock. I put my hand on Briac's shoulder, then added, "Your matching watches gave you away, Briac. Rest assured, I'll keep my word. No one will ever find out the truth. I only mentioned it because you seem to tense up every time Mr. Madden comes by for an inspection. It makes you look like a criminal. I want you to know that you have to be a genius to notice that something is going on between you two. Relax, and don't pay him  attention whenever he's here." Briac smiled broadly at me, then uttered, "Thank you, Zach. You can't imagine what I have been through since I started working here. You took a weight off my shoulders. I'm glad to have you as a friend."

I was just about to reply to Briac when I heard James say, "Are you done with the projects, Zach?" I quickly walked back to my desk, then grabbed my files. I handed them to James, then said, "Yes, I've completed them, sir. I'm also ready to deliver the presentations." James nodded, then motioned me to follow him. I quickly grabbed the materials that I needed, then joined James. Mr. Miller was already waiting for us in the conference room. I got everything situated, then started my presentations. I wasn't surprised when all my ideas got approved. I went back to my desk after the meeting was over. Briac had gone to lunch by the time I returned. I ate a sandwich at my desk then concentrated on work again. I needed to leave the office at five o'clock to make sure that I wasn't late for my appointment. My psychiatrist was very strict. He gave people negative evaluations when they were late. I finished my work, then said goodbye to Briac.

I drove straight to Axel's office. I, fortunately, found a free parking space near the building. There was a small hospital next to Axel's office. The hospital was always busy. It was not easy to find a parking space during the day. I walked into the building, then took the elevator to the fifth floor. It was already time for my appointment, so the receptionist let me through. Axel smiled broadly at me when he noticed me. He walked towards me, then said while putting his hand on my shoulder, "It's good to see you, Zach." I smiled at Axel, then replied to him with, "It's a shame that I can't say the same about you, Mr. Jurgen. My heart starts beating faster whenever I remember that I have to see you every Friday." Axel led me to his sofa, then uttered, "I can see that you have cheered up a bit, Zach."

I sighed while taking a seat. I knew what Axel was about to say next. I shook my head when I heard Axel ask me, "Have you been eating well, Zach?" I replied to Axel in determination with, "Of course, sir." I knew that Axel thought that I was lying. I smiled at Axel, then added, "Lying to you won't do me any good, now would it? I don't have much appetite during work, but I eat well when I get home. I need the energy to do my exercises." Axel nodded while writing something down. He then uttered while handing me a piece of paper, "Give this to Mike at the reception desk. I want you to run a few tests before coming here next Friday." I groaned when I read that Axel wanted to know how high my blood pressure was. It seemed like he was worried about my health.

Axel chuckled when he saw my reaction. He smiled at me, then said, "It's a normal procedure, Zach. You can have the tests done at the hospital next door." I nodded at Axel, then put the piece of paper away. Axel smirked at me suddenly, then asked me, "So, how was your week? Did anything exciting happen since our last session?" I decided to tell Axel everything that I had experienced since I left his office on Friday. Axel listened intently at me. He smiled at me when our session was over. I knew that he was about to give me his evaluation. I sighed when I heard Axel say, "I can see that you are still afraid to live freely, Zach. You will stress yourself out if this keeps up. Try to get rid of your fears and do your best to reach out to more people. Not everyone is a bad guy. I'm here to help you if you get hurt in the process." "Why am I paying this man so much money to tell me something that I already know," I asked myself while staring at Axel.

Axel shook his head while putting his notebook away. He then stood up and said, "You may act like you are not lonely, but you are, Zach. You won't improve unless you get rid of your past. You are living for yourself now, remember? You'll realize how many people wish to be near you when you bare your soul to them. It's not good for your health to carry your burdens alone, my friend. Find someone other than Zavier to share your sorrows with you. I can't let you live alone or even start a business until I'm certain that you can share your hidden thoughts with other people." I stood up, then replied to Axel with, "I understand, sir. If doing that will make me obtain my freedom, then I'll try to make at least one true friend." Axel grabbed my hand, then said, "That's not all that I want you to do, Zach. I want you to laugh, love, and enjoy every hour of the day. I don't want you to live for the sole purpose of regaining your independence."

I suddenly felt like bolting out of Axel's office. He was asking me to do something unimaginable. I had lost my will to enjoy life when Andrew betrayed me. It was not like Axel didn't know that I wasn't in the position to love someone. I had poured everything that I had on the relationship that I had with Andrew. It felt like I was an empty soul now. I didn't have anything left to share with anyone anymore. Axel shook me suddenly, then said, "You will get through this, Zach. I promise. Just follow my advice, and everything will be alright." I nodded at Axel, then replied to him with, "Okay, I'll give it a try, sir."

I drove to a nearby park after my appointment was over. The conversation that I had with Axel was still fresh on my mind. I needed to unwind before going home. I cursed Axel for making me worry about something unnecessary. I sighed while looking at the green grass and the trees. I closed my eyes to enjoy the fresh air. "People say happiness comes the way the wind blows, but mine never came," I thought to myself. I got startled when my phone started ringing. I groaned when I saw that it was Zavier who was calling me. He probably wanted me to help him with something. I sighed while picking up the phone. "How can I assist you today, Mr. Jared?" I asked my best friend. Zavier burst out laughing, then answered me with, "I need your help with setting up some things at the restaurant, Zach. Can you come by now?" I replied to Zavier with, "I'm on my way," then started my car.