"U-u-ummm.... yeahhhhhh... hehe..." I was pretty sure I looked like an idiot right now. The looks everyone were giving me were confirmation of that. After a few more moments of swaying on my feet and clutching onto Gon for dear life, I calmed down. At this point, they had another conversation going on.
I let go of Gon and slowly walked away, my feeling from earlier all too correct. Not that I wasn't used to it. Immediately after introductions people would forget about me while they were caught up in their talking. I guess I'm just... not quite made for being in big groups of people.
I sat quietly next to a tree, making sure I was just out of view of anyone who came outside. I had that feeling where I didn't want someone to find me, but I needed someone to find me. Here I go again... fuck trauma.
I reminded myself of how I had ended up losing friends because of this. I got scared because of trust issues, and then ended up making it so keeping a friendship with me was so tiring that people just left me...
I sighed and quietly started singing a song to myself.
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
that no one hears you screaming?
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me~
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
Feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life.
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
while deep inside you're bleeding?
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me~
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
Feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like.
Welcome to my life.
And no one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy, but I'm not gonna be okay
And everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work, it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
Feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like.
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
Feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life.
Welcome to my life.
Welcome to my life~
I sighed at the end of it. I knew it was stupid. I didn't have it that bad. I didn't need to complain. People had it so much worse than I did. Heck, even Killua's situation is worse than mine. I'm just being stupid and needy and disgusting and self-centered and selfish and-
"I didn't know you could sing." I heard a voice, shocking me out of my depression. Killua sat next to me and reached over to ruffle my hair. "It sounded really good. Why did you choose to become a hunter when you could make a living off of that voice of yours?"
"U-um..." I trailed off. He thought... I was good? But...
"I'm sorry it took me a while. I couldn't get away from the conversation. I noticed you leaving, but they were so caught up in the conversation..." He said, his voice full of regret. He noticed... as I was leaving..? That fast..? "I'm sorry..."
"I-it's fine... thank you, actually... normally it takes at least half an hour for anyone to notice I left..." I moved slightly away from Killua, for whatever reason. There was silence for a moment before I spoke up. "Killua-..."
"Yes?"
I was quiet for a moment. One line flashed into my mind and my face went pink, making me have to look away from him. "Just... thanks..." He smiled and looked away. It was... cute...
"Don't do that... like I said, you don't have to thank me for things... that's what friends are for, idiot..." But his goofy grin made it seem like he almost liked it.
Dammit, this boy is really messing with me...
End of Chapter.
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Kitten ? (KilluaxReader)
Fanfiction(COVER IS NOT MINE!!!) Y/n has had a strange ability since birth. Because of this, she has had trouble with making friends for all twelve years she has been alive. When she decides to try to get away from her family and take the Hunter Exam, she isn...
Whale Island
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