When paths meet (Jon Rua x reader)

Trigger Warning-Breakdown-mention of s*lf  harm-Implies an act of s*lf harm

y/n's p.o.v
After y/n had made it back to Jon's apartment, she realized she was exhausted. She was starting to cramp up due to her period and had just decided to curl up on the couch, the fluffy heated blanket Jon had gotten her the day before.

She had started to drift to sleep when she heard the door of the apartment open. Her eyes fluttered open and she spotted Jon standing in the doorway, taking his shoes and Jacket up. But he looked like he was upset.. or angry. She didn't know since she had never seen him like this. All she knew was that something was bothering him.

"Jon..?" She asked in a soft voice, sitting up and wrapping the blanket around herself again. He turned his gaze to her and she could see that his eyes were watery.

A pit began to grow in the bottom of her stomach as she spoke again. "Whats wrong..? Did something happen..?" She couldn't help but think that she had messed up in some way. 

Jon sighed and walked over to her, sitting beside her on the couch. He looked really worn out. 

It was silent for a few moments before he finally looked at her. "Why didn't you tell me..?" He asked, a sort of pained tone in his voice.

"What do you mean..?" Y/n asked, a look of confusion filling her features.

"Why didn't you tell me about the pictures." He took both of her hands and squeezed them. His hands were clammy and warm, indicating that he was more upset then she realized.

Her heart dropped and her face paled. She forgot all about her cramps as the pit in the bottom of her stomach grew. "I-I didn't want you to worry-" She said in a quiet voice, looking anywhere but his face.

"Y/n. You're important to me.. and in order to make sure you're ok you need to talk to me about these things.. ok?" He moved his hands so that he could cup both of her cheeks, making her unable to look anywhere but his face. 

"But.. I don't want you to have to d-deal with stuff I caused..." Her voice broke as her eyes glossed over. 

"I don't care if you caused it or not- I want you to feel like you can talk to me..." He explained and looked in her eyes. "because I can't lose you.."

"Lose me..?" She asked, confusion quickly mixing with her growing anxiety. "Who said y-you were g-going to lose m-me..?"

"A few of your friends messaged thayne and told him about everything going on.." Jon said and took a deep breath. "Thats why they wanted to get me alone.. thayne and everyone wanted to tell me..." 

Her heart dropped and she could feel her hands start to shake a little bit. Somehow he noticed this and moved one hand in order to grab ahold of her's.

"they.. they told me that there was a chance you could have... relapsed.." his voice broke the slightest bit at the last word.

She quickly teared up and looked away, taking a few very shaky breaths. She could feel the panic quickly bubbling inside of her, and she was afraid of breaking down in front of him. "I-I would.. I wouldn't d-do that-" She said in a very shaky voice.

"Y/n, Please-" He said, and she could just tell he was scared by the way he sounded. 

"P-please don't get m-mad-" She said, her breath growing more shallow with every word. Her throat was quickly closing up and it made it hard for her to breathe. 

"I would never get mad..." Jon said in a soft voice, cupping her cheek once again and making eye contact. "Tell me what happened.."

"I-I... T-the first time I s-saw the comments on the p-post... It made e-everything c-c-come back.." She said, her voice wavering as she did. "I couldn't d-deal with it a-anymore and-and I broke down..." Her voice grew quieter and more shaky with each word.

"How bad was it..?" He asked and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"I-I don't know- A-a-all I know is I c-can't stop-" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Hey- its okay.. shhh.." He said and pulled her into a tight hug. 

She allowed herself to completely break down. Tears began to flow down her cheeks as she shook in his arms. She buried her face in his chest so that her sobs wouldn't be as loud as they probably would have been. She kept muttering over and over apologies as her tears began to run out. 

After a little while, she finally calmed down. She was now back in her spot next to Jon and had the blanket wrapped around herself again. She was extremely tired now, but she felt a lot better. 

"T-Thank you for not getting m-mad.." She said in a quiet voice.

"I could never get mad at you.." He had a soft and genuine expression on his face.

She nodded and took a few shaky breaths. "I'll try not to do it again.." She sniffled.

"Its okay if you mess up.. I know now so I'll be able to help you.." He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

She nodded and leaned into his touch, looking up at him.

"Do you think we could order some food...?" She asked, a small smile pulling at her lips. She felt a lot better, and was now hungry.

He snorted, ruffling her hair the slightest bit. "I swear, you're always hungry- Yes we can." He chuckled and booped her nose before grabbing his phone. "What do you want to get?" He raised an eyebrow and looked at her again.

She thought for a moment before her eyes lit up. "Can we get Chinese food?" She loved Chinese food, and seemed to crave it every time it was shark week.

"Of course love.." Jon chuckled and kissed her forehead. He then ordered the food on an app for a nearby Chinese food restaurant.

Word Count: 991

Sorry it took so long to get this out y'all- I haven't been feeling the best mentally. But I was able to write a little bit- seeeeeee- so y'all know I'm not dead.
I love y'all-
-ezra