Eight Letters / Taegyu; Until the End

if all it is is eight letters,

word count; 1211

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"YOU ACTUALLY DID IT?"

i shushed yeonjun covering his mouth as the other students in the class glanced at us. the teacher glaring as well. we looked at the teacher apologetically and i hit my loud ass friend.

"yes, i did. now shut the fuck up and finish your work."

he pouted like a child and went back to doing his work. i knew that with him it wouldn't be long until he was back at it and being nosy again. he always had thousands of questions and it was almost impossible to stop him until he was out of words.

class was over after countless attempts of making the older drop the subject with no avail and i separated from him to walk down the hall to my next class which was almost halfway across the entire school. it was, without a doubt, the worst source of exercise i could ever have to experience. which said a lot.

it was odd that i hadn't seen beomgyu yet because usually he met me right around the corner to walk to the class that we shared. but he wasn't there. i was hoping he was just late leaving his other class or got called to the office or something. i played with the sleeves of his hoodie trying to ignore the devil on my shoulder saying that he regretted everything that had happened and that he probably was avoiding me.

"shut the fuck up."

i whispered agitatedly to myself. at that moment i heard a woah and felt hands wrap around me from the back.

"what's wrong hyunnie?"

i panicked internally. he's going to think i'm obsessive oh my god. i bit my lip and grasped tighter at the sleeves trying to keep it together. there was no way i was letting my mind fuck shit up today.

"baby. what's wrong?"

he held my arm back to stop me from walking and turned me to face him. he brushed my bangs away from where they were sat covering my eyes. i looked up at his face full of concern. then i looked away in guilt and distracted myself by staring at his soft brown hair that i loved to fluff.

"look at me tae. i'm right here. what's bugging you? it's okay. you can tell me anything. you know i will still love you no matter what."

we met eyes as i looked up without raising my head. in return he lifted my chin gently with his soft hands. i didn't really know what it was. i just knew that i could feel my throat burning and a lump forming in my vocal chords.

"i-- don't know i just- fuck- i'm so s-sorry."

the hall got blurry and i felt my eyes water. i had to get the fuck out of there before the tears started to fall. i couldn't see through the burning sensation. 

i heard him following after me and i heard him calling my name. i heard the late bell for class ring. i was late for class. i made beomgyu late for class. he was following me to the bathroom. he was going to see me. he was going to see my full breakdown. he would know the truth. he would leave.

every thought filtered through on repeat and i couldn't even think of where the fucking bathroom was. i knew this school like the back of my hand. but there was no thought there besides that one loud shout ringing through my head.

he's going to leave me. because i'm crazy. because i'm a train wreck.

suddenly there i was. frozen in place in the middle of the hallway, thankfully one with no classes in it, not knowing where i was going. it felt like the world was crashing down. and the scariest part of it all, was that this started with beomgyu not being in the exact spot where he always was in the hall.

the scariest part was that i became aware of just how small and insignificant something could be to set off the end of the world in my messy mind.

i hit the wall with my back and slid down to a crouched position on the floor. beomgyu was calling my name, he was shaking me softly, he was holding my cheeks, he was patting my back. anything that he could think of that might help me come back to reality.

but air was sparse and my ears were ringing. my head hurt and i could feel the hyperventilation as i gasped for air in between cries that i wanted to muffle but couldn't physically do so.

i felt him hold me up by my arm as he led me to the bathroom. he knew i always hated counselors and nurses. he knew that no matter what was happening. if i was dying on the floor, i would refuse with every inch of my body to go anywhere near that horrible corner of the school.

i could blurrily see everything. him next to me, holding my hand tightly and walking with me to the bathroom and closing the door behind us. locking it even though it didn't matter anyways because nobody ever used these. he sat me down in his lap as he sat on the tile leaning his back against the door.

i buried my face in his chest as the sobs racked out making my whole body shake profusely and he patted my head, occasionally playing with the locks to try and calm me down. his other hand was wrapped around my waist and met with one of my hands that he had a tight hold on.

he was humming quietly. a coldplay song. a song that always made me feel safe.

we sat there for what seemed like hours. we heard about five bells ring, including the bell signaling lunch. which made me nervous because i knew that the others would probably try to come and look for us. and with yeonjun and soobin knowing my safe spot in the bathroom in the empty hall of the school, it wouldn't take long for them to arrive.

"baby?"

i looked up at beomgyu and he frowned sadly seeing my tear stained face that was complemented by the red puffy eyes on display. not to mention that i was still struggling to breathe, still trying to stop sobbing.

"oh baby. it's okay i'm here. are you able to tell me what's wrong? or do you still need time? we have all the time in the world so don't rush it."

i nodded and wrapped both of my arms tightly around him in a hug which he returned and added to with a kiss to my forehead. i buried my face into his chest for a minute and prepared myself for the decision i had decided to make. well, less of a decision and more of a forced admission.

with a sniff and a look back up to his face full of not only concern, but love, i felt a little less pressure. i wasn't hyperventilating anymore. i could probably speak somewhat coherently if i tried. so it was the best opportunity i currently had to tell him what this really was.

"p-please don't leave me beomgyu."

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